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Are people genuinely not seeing their partner?

47 replies

Flower234 · 02/02/2021 12:46

If you live away from your partner but don't qualify for support bubble, are you genuinely not seeing them indoors? How long will you follow this for?

Haven't seen my partner indoors since October and it's killing me. I live in a house-share with a couple who ignore me, I spend my days alone. I don't even work. I go all day without seeing or speaking to them. Currently cannot move in with my partner. I did try to explain why but the post disappeared! Basically due to children.

I feel forgotten about- Surely there are other adults who live in houseshares with strangers and feel equally lonely? Sad

I don't socially distance from my partner inside which is admittedly against guidleines but in terms of the letter of the law, we follow that. The couple I live with told me to invite my partner over, so they don't care but obviously I do.

In Scotland couples can see each other if they live apart, and it just feels so unfair at this point. I'm wallowing in it today admittedly.

I'm also Bipolar and have just adjusted medications and can feel myself getting a bit unstable which doesn't help!

OP posts:
HarrietOh · 02/02/2021 14:46

Just see him. I spent 5 weeks apart from my DP in lockdown 1 when the bubbles didn't exist and when I look back now I honestly can't believe I did that because it's just ridiculous.

Fifthtimelucky · 02/02/2021 14:47

My 21 yr old has not seen her boyfriend (they've been together a little over a year) since the beginning of December because they are students at the same university who are both currently living at home (different areas) rather than in their university city.

Before then they were seeing each other outdoors, but not indoors as they were not allowed to mix households. I can't remember when they last were in the same room together - October perhaps?

They seem to be managing fine.

mootymoo · 02/02/2021 14:51

Just see him. I think it's particularly cruel that those in established relationships who do not live together (often for very good reasons) don't have a support bubble exception.

WalkingOnStarshine · 02/02/2021 14:52

Everyone I know who doesn't live with their partner or qualify for a support bubble are seeing their partner regardless.

lucywho123 · 02/02/2021 14:52

@MrsSimonBasset

Just see him OP and stop being a martyr.
^ This

Why would you make yourself suffer like this when you dont go anywhere anyway? Just see him OP

MrsSimonBasset · 02/02/2021 14:56

@WalkingOnStarshine

Everyone I know who doesn't live with their partner or qualify for a support bubble are seeing their partner regardless.
Yep. Me too. Right from Lockdown 1 onwards.
MrsSimonBasset · 02/02/2021 15:04

@Flower234 Is your DP the only adult in his household? If so you can be his support bubble. So there shouldn’t be an issue.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 02/02/2021 15:07

@HarrietOh

Just see him. I spent 5 weeks apart from my DP in lockdown 1 when the bubbles didn't exist and when I look back now I honestly can't believe I did that because it's just ridiculous.
Same here. When we were allowed to meet outside but distanced, we kept 2m apart on all our walks, with the exception of one brief hug at the end of the first walk. We even sat at opposite ends of a long bench when having a rest. We'd been together over 3 years at that point, it seems crazy looking back.

OP just see him.

Flower234 · 04/02/2021 21:17

Saw him inside today, absolutely wonderful. Has made a massive difference to my mental health and outlook- After the AZ news that it cuts transmission 65%, I am feeling almost joyful. Thank you everyone for the perspective.

OP posts:
worried3012 · 04/02/2021 21:18

I have barely seen mine (3 year relationship) in months , we aren't local although same large city. Both live with others. We weren't in a great way before all this so I think this might kill us off completely sadly.

Remmy123 · 04/02/2021 21:55

You are crazy not too!!!

HarrietteNightingale · 04/02/2021 21:56

Very pleased for you OP.

AnxiousAlpaca · 05/02/2021 00:09

Glad you saw your partner OP. I’m sure in the Nov lockdown as well as when things relaxed after lockdown #1 there was a ‘rule’ that said those in ‘established relationships’ but not bubbling could also not social distance. But then I also remember some rag like the sun saying partners living separately should wear masks and only do it doggy Grin

namechange63524 · 05/02/2021 03:41

@AnxiousAlpaca

Glad you saw your partner OP. I’m sure in the Nov lockdown as well as when things relaxed after lockdown #1 there was a ‘rule’ that said those in ‘established relationships’ but not bubbling could also not social distance. But then I also remember some rag like the sun saying partners living separately should wear masks and only do it doggy Grin
Grin
PeggyHill · 05/02/2021 04:08

I DH and I weren't living together there is no way in hell I'd be staying away from him for this long. I would follow every other rule to the letter but I would be meeting up with DH frequently and we'd be cuddling, having sex and generally making up for lost time.

RAOK · 05/02/2021 04:17

Of course they are! I’m glad you’ve seen him.

FidgetWonkham · 05/02/2021 04:59

I’m sure I read that a person living in a house of multiple occupation can form a bubble with a single adult living alone.

HugeAckmansWife · 05/02/2021 07:05

Yes but only one of the people in the house share could, so if you are 2 or 3 singles living together how would you choose? To the pp who said their 21 yo was managing fine, she lives with you, not alone I think, unlike the op.. Big difference.

bathsh3ba · 05/02/2021 08:44

Surely the exemption that you can see someone for care/mental health reasons would apply here?

Sillyduckseverywhere · 05/02/2021 10:31

I'm pleased you saw him, it's amazing how much it helps isn't it?

Flower234 · 05/02/2021 16:20

Thank you everyone- If anyone can point me in the direction of the houseshare bubble, I'd be delighted. To add, my partner lives with adult DC. So even if technically not another adult, legally she is. Neither of are 'single adults' sadly.

Also I remember the masks article. That did make me laugh Grin

OP posts:
WalrusWife · 05/02/2021 18:09

Earlier in lockdown, my DH was living and working away during the week on another base. He came home on weekends. Always thought it odd that it was fine for him to mix with recruits all week and come home as we live together - but if we didn’t cohabit it would be a no-no!

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