Does anyone else feel like their life is in limbo right now?

[willFOURbagsbeenough]

I feel like my life paused in March and I’m just waiting to be able to live again. I feel like I can’t make any plans, I have no money, as I have barely worked at all since March, I see people taking about holidays and selling houses and going to university in September which I know are all totally normal things to do but for me seems so bizarre that people are able to do these things. I feel like my brain just won’t process anything like that until this is all over. And now I’m starting to worry that this might be life for another year (not scare mongering- just my brain panicking) and I’ll have been frozen in time since the start.

Am I alone or does anyone else feel this way?

feel the same. admittedly in better position than you as DH and I still have jobs but we live in 500sq ft London flat with DS (no garden) and were desperate to move. flat went on the market in March last year, then covid happened and no one was interested in London flats any more. don't feel like we'll ever sell it now tbh. most days I cry over it. won't be able to have another baby, 5 yo ds will have spent his childhood with no garden.

Yes I think we all feel like this. Weird thought I had the other day- I don’t think I’ll ever feel fully comfortable about booking a holiday or planning for an event ever again. So much has been cancelled and took away I just feel like I’ll never be able to fully look forward to anything again, even when (if!) normality resumes, there’ll always be that tingling sense of anxiety.

Thank you both.

@Pathetic32 I’m sorry you can’t get your flat sold. My parents haven’t been able to sell their house either. Let’s hope the situation changes.

Yes @Bluemooninmyeyes1, it’s that anxiety cloud constantly looming every time I think of making plans.

Absolutely. I am still working so I'm fortunate there. But I like DOING things, not just going to work and then coming home.

DS is at his dad's this weekend (we are divorced). Normally I'd be looking forward to it, go for a wander round the shops, meet up for some drinks with friends. But no, I'll spend the entire weekend alone watching telly yet again. Sick of it.

Yep telly. I’m sure mine is about to explode in protest.

Well yes. And it's starting to rapidly lose its charm. How long are we expected to live like this? Daily scare stories followed by moments of encouragement followed by scare stories.

Fuck it all.

I'm struggling over the last few days.
Today has been terrible for me, just been a long boring long long day. I don't know how to even make it to 4pm today and honestly just wish it was bedtime.

@Twistered snap!!! Currently crying into my cup of tea my brain can’t take anymore of this, it’s because we can’t accept this life, once I accept this is life for at least the next 8 weeks I should feel better but I can’t take my own advice.

I'm making myself keep busy with longer walk home after work, online exercise classes, reading books and magazines, new recipes, jigsaws, tv, all of which I enjoy but I'm now doing it more for my mental health rather than I enjoy it.

Yes I feel that way. I have a daughter who is 10 months but it feels like everything is on pause, but I won't get the time back. When we "unpause" it will be too late for my family to hold my newborn or play with my 6 month old because shes past that now.

Last week I woke up and started reminiscing over a holiday I'd been on 'last year'. Then I remembered that it was actually 2 years ago. It was like I'd forgotten that the past year happened, it's been such a blur of nothingness and sadness. I normally travel abroad 3 or 4 times a year, so it depresses me to think I've barely been a few km outside my home for 10 months, and counting.

This is maybe the first time in my life I'm happy to be middle aged. At 51, a year isn't that big a deal for me - not that I don't still hate every second of this. If I were young, and watching the best years of my life slip away with 'socialising' on Zoom and studying online, I'd be even more depressed than I already am.

@ChocOrange1

Yes I feel that way. I have a daughter who is 10 months but it feels like everything is on pause, but I won't get the time back. When we "unpause" it will be too late for my family to hold my newborn or play with my 6 month old because shes past that now.

for you. I feel so sorry for all the new mums who’ve had babies during this pandemic. So many missing experiences.

Yep in limbo, chomping at the bit to get out.

Gazing at European beach photographs.

Aaaaarrrrhhhh!

Filling the house with exotic smelling spicy food instead a poor substitute.

I did.
But decided I couldnt and shouldnt live like that, so decided to see good things and think about good things.
Easier said that done in your position with no money coming in.

That's exactly how I feel, OP. At the grand old age of 46 I finally feel ready to learn to drive. The plan is to do up the house, sell and buy a place in the countryside with a bit of land.

NONE of that is doable at the moment. Well technically I think tradesmen are allowed inside your home, I'm not at all comfortable with that right now though.

It's frustrating as hell having everything on hold until...when? Who the fuck knows.

Yes it’s the unknown of when it will end that makes it so hard.

Everyone, I imagine.

Yep. In spades.

Funnily enough just spoke to my "surrogate son" who is 26, and we were talking about Facebook and the memory feature, and how it seems like salt being rubbed in the wound when it shows events and big gatherings in the past.

I'm seriously beginning to think by the time that things get back to any sort of normality I'll be a wizened prune without the ability to enjoy anything.

Vodka anyone?

I think I'm starting to get Stockholm syndrome. Absolutely hated and railed against the first 2 lockdowns. Was really upset/irked when holidays were cancelled. Now I am pretty ambivalent. I just follow the same old daily routine. We have a couple of trips booked which I am pretty sure will not happen and I almost feel relieved. I have no desire whatsoever to plan other trips and I don't even imagine them. I've given up speculating on when restrictions will loosen or end.

Vodka anyone?

I haven’t had a good punch up in years, !