Really don't want to do this any more

[Heartofstrings]

I have 2 preschoolers. One is currently being assessed for autism. I know this isnt the correct vocabulary but it's "mild". He's verbal but just very hard work. Neither child is at preschool as the older preschooler is prone to nasty infections.

I cried to DM at the weekend because I just wanted to see her and have help. She is wfh and we are also super low risk as we arent mixing. Shes two hours away so we decided not to. Husband was in uni lectures all weekend on zoom.

I'm a tutor so am working my arse off to support other parents and families. I'm bloody good at my job and the kids are doing fab.

My husband has a health issue and will require regular injections for the foreseeable. I'm not sure how long for. But in the meantime he is tired, unmotivated and grumpy. All the official symptoms listed for his health issue. He's really finding things tough.

I work late into the evenings to try.to get money in. I've just managed to pull us above the tax credits threshold which I'm really happy about but we are suffering financially because of the sudden tail of in tax credits.

My kids are rotting with screen time. We are drowning in mess.

Husband took the boys both evenings over the weekend so I could sleep and I went to sleep at 7pm saturday.

I just really am struggling. No family nearby to sort childcare bubbles with. It just feels like so much giving and nothing to nurture myself. I just cant be arsed any more

You're not alone
I have a 5yo and a 4mo and am struggling. I don't work. My 5yo has suspected additional needs but no support.
It's all just full on and I'm knackered. House is a state.
I can offer suggestions of things that help me but I think sometimes it's useful to just let it all out and agree it's a shit situation.
I'm not surprised you're worn out.

Don't worry too much about screen time. My dc was in and out of hospital at that age, spend a lot of time on screen. Watched most of the things with subtitles since you can't turn up the volume of TV on hospitals beds, as well as at home because he liked it. Result: learned to read before school.

I just absolutely hate all the screen time but have nothing else left in the tank.

I'm busy trying to chase medical appointments and organise constant clients nagging me for support of their own

Can you move in with your mum? Would that help?

Unfortunately not. She works full time and I work full.time also. I rely on my husband for childcare while.i work. He studies when I'm not working

If everyone involved is working from home and not at preschool, I'd consider either going to stay there for a few weeks or her coming to you. My parents also live two hours away and considering similar if we get desperate.

Not sure it's technically allowed, but a lot less risky than using grandparents in a childcare bubble when people are working outside the home/kids are in childcare, which those with family who live locally are allowed to do.

You're not alone. You're doing well, honestly you're doing a lot better than you think or feel right now. Mild or not, if you have a child with autism that is a lot to deal with (I'm an SEN teacher ) , so you need to just take a step back and think how well you are actually doing.
I live with chronic illnesses as well (and am currently in hospital) and so if you're also supporting your husband that is also another strain on you. And it's probably a lot bigger strain tham you may even recognize in yourself.

Screen time is ok. I promise. Your children aren't going to break. If you weren't giving them that screen time then YOU may break and then you aren't going to be able to do what you need to do for them. So a bit of cbeebies or whatever they watch is not going to harm your children not one bit. It doesn't feel great, I know because you naturally feel that you should be doing more, but you don't have to. You're doing great. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel not ok, because that's ok as well.

Look after yourself. I hear how tough it is. You're doing grand. Even if you don't believe me .

Ive decided to get proactive and chase. I called the paediatrician to chase a referral form, called the hospital to rebook his eye test.

I've spent a fair amount of time tidying to try to reduce my stress levels.

Today is my long work day so my husband has to deal with the kids today