Is it as lonely as town as rurally?

[Chasingamy]

We live in a small village and moved here a few years ago. Before lockdown spent a mixture of time in the village but also in our nearest town (20 mins) and nearest city (30 mins). I have a 2 year old and since lockdown started have just been so so lonely. Every day I take her out in the buggy twice a day hoping to see just other people/kids but it’s like a ghost village and we hardly ever do. The play park is empty every day even on nice days. Im finding it increasingly depressing. Nursery is closed so she never sees any other children. We’re in Scotland and not allowed to the town or city as out with our LA and nothing about else much nearby. I’m seriously thinking of moving to the city not just for me but for my toddler but my DH is not of the same mind. He works full time so doesn’t experience the same isolation. Do things feel better in a city where you can actually see other faces and people (even if it’s not people you know)? Or is it just as lonely?

Cities can be better, there are still some crowded places and occasionally you get lucky and your kids find someone to play with in the park. Sometimes loneliness in a crowd is more painful though, it depends on your personality xx

Live in a city. Parks are full with other kids and walkers so it doesn’t really feel lonely. There’s still a lot of life about.

I spent roughly 10 years in a very, very small town and have just moved back to a very, very large city. Some people say cities are anonymous but personally, I find the sheer number of people around and the general 'busy-ness' massively cheering.

Rural life, especially with kids is very over rated.

I moved to a beautiful rural village when Ds was 2.

I spent the next 7 years bored out of my fucking mind, treated like an outsider the whole time and was lonely and miserable.

Moved back to zone 1 London and my god, i
couldn't have wished friendlier bunch of people in my street/neighbourhood.

I've always found cities, especially London (I've lived in a few parts), far friendlier than villages (grew up on a couple). I don't know where the myth comes from that cities are anonymous and unwelcoming.

We are very rural but have shedloads of walkers around, to the extent that we have to be very careful if leaving the house at weekends.

I live in a city. It's still lonely but there are a lot of people around. The play parks are busy and the kids often bump into someone they know.

@Fuckadoodledoooo

Rural life, especially with kids is very over rated.

I moved to a beautiful rural village when Ds was 2.

I spent the next 7 years bored out of my fucking mind, treated like an outsider the whole time and was lonely and miserable.

Moved back to zone 1 London and my god, i
couldn't have wished friendlier bunch of people in my street/neighbourhood.

I've always found cities, especially London (I've lived in a few parts), far friendlier than villages (grew up on a couple). I don't know where the myth comes from that cities are anonymous and unwelcoming.

This is me as well. I have siblings who live in rural areas who are currently complaining how it's a ghost town and how depressing it is. I live in zone 1 as well and it's lovely to see people out and about jogging, walking, grabbing a take out coffee. People are much friendlier in cities Ime. I've lived in a rural area, it's hard to get accepted and I found them to be miserable af- maybe it's because they live in isolation with limited human contact that makes them so miserable. I wouldn't trade the city life for a quiet rural life unless something life changing happens in a negative way.

I live in a small rural town and have been taking most of my exercise in nearby countryside where you don't see a soul... I was saying to DH last night how nice it was on my walk through the town yesterday to see so many families out walking, playing in their gardens, playing fetch with their dog at the park, kids on the swings etc.

Everyone at a safe distance but lots of hellos and smiles, I actually felt really cheered by it hopefully restrictions will ease a bit soon OP and you won't feel so isolated

The population of my town is around 100,000. I live very close to the park, which we go in most days and it’s busy - during the week we go about 3pm and we seem to bump into people we know (mainly from DD’s school).

Even in normal times I couldn’t imagine living rurally, I like having lots of things local to me (swimming pool, sports clubs, library, supermarkets and shops), and have lots of National Trust within an hour. I’m also about 50miles out of London with good train links and we’re not far from the station.

I’ve loved both, currently rural. In the city I found I made “mum” friends more easily, saw people out and about.

I love rural though for the space for kids to run, they have lots of friends through riding and school and I have family here, also as an adult I can walk into the local and know people so can go alone. I can imagine without family here and in lockdown it would be very isolating.

Lots of kids in the playgrounds here in London, always see people we know when we’re out for walks. Agree with previous posters that rural life for families is overrated- but I’m definitely a city person so probably biased.

Love living in a city. We moved to where we live now when my DS was very young and there were so many opportunities to meet people and make friends...baby classes, playgroups, chatting at the playground, neighbours, local events. We have five playgrounds and a large park with a duck pond within walking distance.

I'm not sure how easy it would be to make friends in lockdown though...most things are closed and people don't tend to interact with strangers so much anymore. For example, before Covid, if my DS was playing with another child at the playground I'd have a friendly chat with the mum, whereas now I'd smile and be friendly but would keep my distance and avoid too much social interaction. But hopefully things will be back to normal soon and there is a lot of pent-up "friendliness" round about where I live just waiting to come out. All the parks and walks where we live are quite busy and, even nowadays with Covid and social distancing, my DS and I get a lot of friendly comments from strangers when we're out on our walk and he's running around enjoying himself. Some people might prefer more peace and quiet, but I like the feeling of being in a shared social space. And you can still drive 15 minutes away from where we live and you're in the middle of the countryside so it's not like we're trapped in the city. But I love not being dependent on the car.

The other side, though, is that you have to look for the beauty in things quite hard . Our local nature reserve has huge electricity pylons and high-rise blocks of flats on one side of it and there's always road noise in the background.

Not from Scotland but would imagine restrictions will be improving this year with the vaccinations etc. I’ve enjoyed being more rural as have felt less at risk. An empty park is a virus free environment to relax in. But I say that as a key worker who spends much of the day ‘at risk’, and my little one has been going to the childminder throughout, so my home is my sanctuary.
I can see how isolating it must be without that interaction. Maybe hang on in there for the next few months, see if it feels better. It usually feels a little easier in the summer, and then make a joint decision by autumn before you move into the winter again.

I live in the suburbs of a large city, and love it. There’s almost always people out and about and people do use the parks and play equipment, usually in a sensible way. I’ve found people much friendlier since this all started.

We left the city for a small town
We hate it
So are moving back to the city as soon as we can!

Personally I feel there is just so much more to do in the city..
Hobbies, eating out, activities, people, the hustle and bustle, people, theatre
I miss it so much and cannot wait to get back!!
But I know people who hate the city and love being more rural so it really depends what makes you happy!

Feel quite lucky to have the best of both worlds. We're in a village in an area of outstanding natural beauty, but on a new-ish housing estate filled with families. Also about three miles from a small city and 20 mins drive from the nearest coast.

Before this we were in a small but over-populated cultureless market town that was the epitome of loneliness.

Much prefer where we are now!

Thanks everyone for your comments. Seems like most prefer city living. I’m struggling at the moment. I think we were happy pre Covid, i think we were but it’s almost as if I can’t remember. We had full weeks with socialising and activities when I was on maternity leave, admittedly with a lot of travelling but I didn’t really mind it. Now not sure how much more of the isolation I can take now, not seeing a soul and without the opportunity to travel to other nearby places. I guess that’s my DH is reluctant to look into a house move as not to make decisions in Covid times and know our salaries wouldn’t go far on city prices.