Bereaved, struggling to sleep and hate the long nights

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Posting here as I know many of you will understand. I lost my mum to Covid just before Christmas. Although she was old, I still feel she and I were cheated of many, many years. She caught Covid in hospital (was admitted after a fall), and didn't get the option of Critical Care/ICU once she got poorly, because of her age. I watched her die, with minimal care and no dignity, on a general ward after a few weeks of not being able to see her.

I have gone back to work, and life has carried on. I am really struggling with sleep though. Turning out the light just pings me wide awake and my mind is in overdrive. So many emotions, 'what ifs', re-running her final hours. I don't think I am reacting abnormally, but this is just a stage I need to get through.

I need some really gentle TV to distract and comfort me in the early hours. A friend recommended 'The Detectorists', which was absolutely perfect. In other times, I would rewatch 'Mum', but I can't face that at the moment.

Does anyone have any suggestions for TV that won't upset me, but will draw me in to a safe (gently funny) little world for a few hours? Preferably UK based stuff. Thank you.

I don't but just wanted to say I'm so sorry you lost your mum. Night time is a funny, different world isn't it?

I used Frasier to get through my sister’s stage 4 cancer. It’s American but it’s very clever ‘british type’ humour.

I also liked Car Share with Peter Kay. It was funny and heartwarming

I'm so sorry about your mum. I am also bereaved and understand how night times are worse.

Downton Abbey, Call the Midwife, All Creatures Great & Small, Poldark...

All oldies but gentle , although depending how old you are you might find the nostalgia a bit hard.

I know it’s a children’s program but the new worzle and Gumage

It has similar filming as the detectorusts.

Sorry for your loss.

Goodness sorry for typos!

Maybe something you remember that you watched as a child and just get lost in it?

Mum died after getting an infection in hospital - yes she was elderly but not that ill. It’s horrible and I did find that really distressing for a long time (not I get angry).

I found books - old ones like the James Herriot vet series - just took my mind off it.

You will get through this but it is still raw at this stage. Remember - there is no ‘proper’ way to work through grief and everyone has their own path. Have you people around you for support?

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard isn't it. I don't know what I can recommend, because I don't know what sort of TV you like!
I had a late stillbirth, so it's not the same sort of loss I suppose, but I got hooked on the Louis Theroux documentaries! But that's not light tv!
I enjoyed also the great british bake off , the great pottery throw down and the sewing bee one. All perfectly mindless. I'm so sorry for your loss.

We have just started watching the American version of The Office on Netflix. Its directed by Ricky Gervais so still incorporates British humour. It’s easy watching and there are some proper laugh out loud moments. Really sorry for your loss x

I am so sorry about your mum.

I had PTSD which caused Insomnia for a long period. What really put me on the road to recovery was a hot shower before bed and then comedy of some kind before I went to sleep. I second Car Share with Peter Kay, Dads Army (this really helped distract me from my own thoughts) and Bill Bryson travel Books. They transformed my bedtime - I actually used to look forward to it after a time!

Wishing you all the best x

I am so sorry for your loss.

It's a bit soon but I really recommend getting bereavement counselling when you feel ready. It's been nearly 8 years since my mum died and I've just started it (wish I hadn't left it quite that long!)

I am easily tipped over in anxiety at the moment so I'm only watching safe programme. I've watched Downton Abbey, Agatha Christie adaptations & Midsommer Murders (all on ITV), All Creatures Great & Small, Death in Paradise - I appreciate there is a lot of murders in there but most of it is very light hearted (!) and neatly wrapped up at the end.

Rick Stein travel and cookery series are worth watching. Andrew Graham's Dixon has a number of series about European art which is fab. There was also a lovely series behind the scenes at the V&A on BBC4. And a series on lost masterpieces - I've forgotten its name but on BBC1.

Not sure if it's on the ITV website now but Home Fires was excellent.

I listen to podcasts - You're Dead to Me is a funny and interesting history podcast presented by a historian who contributed to Horrible Histories. I also like Full Disclosure by James O'Brien. And Infinite Monkey Cage (science).

I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my mum at the age of 70 to leukaemia just after Christmas and have been feeling the same as you.

I have enjoyed:

Bridgerton
Formula One Drive to Survive (I have no interest in formula one whatsoever but it was a really
brilliant fly on the wall series)
The Queen's Gambit
Suits

So sorry for your loss OP.

I really really really loved the detectorists (and Mum)

I get the same vibe from This Country.

There’s a Detectorists Facebook group where the series is celebrated for all its loveliness, but there are also recommendations of other things to watch from fans.

You lovely lot!

Thank you for your flowers and kind words, and back to those that have or are going through the same or similar.

There are some brilliant suggestions on here - which include things I have already seen and loved, but in my befuddled state, hadn't thought of. I can't tell you how reassuring it is to have a library of things to watch now. Hopefully it will stop the creeping sense of fear about going to bed now.

As for The Detectorists - I totally missed it when it came out, but what a beautifully written, acted and produced series. I think it finished perfectly, so much as I would love more, I would hate for it to be ruined. Wouldn't it be lovely if the team that did it could reconvene on another project?

On the Facebook group (I promise I'm not obsessed) there was a video posted of a Mackenzie Crook interview hinting about the possibility of more. However I do agree with you, it really was perfect .

If it’s not been said already- Last Tango in Halifax is on iplayer I think still. I recently rewatched it, I love the characters in that.

Also if you have access to it, The West Wing never gets old. I’ve restarted that too.

So sorry for your loss.