Children's mental health

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7 year old has just broken down crying he's fed up of lockdown misses school and his nan, grandad , auntie. Said he doesn't get time to think about other things because of school work ( he's not even doing loads)
He has been out in the park today with friends at distance so is getting that child interaction. Feel so sad for him, anyone else's little ones struggling?
What's everyone doing to keep them happy mentally he has lots of love of attention but it's still effecting him like this

Yes 4 YO is also having random episodes of crying, I just validate her feelings, tell her I feel the same and suggest fun things to do. There's a normality to this so I wouldn't worry too much, he needs to know its okay to feel like this so that when he next feels like this, he knows its okay to tell you and express it in whatever way he feels able to.

As someone who works in childrens mental health, I really see the worst case and sadly I think the worst is yet to come in years down the line when we see the true impact of covid on our children.

7 year old has just broken down crying he's fed up of lockdown misses school and his nan, grandad , auntie
He has been out in the park today with friends at distance so is getting that child interaction
You also have a safe house, running water, food?
Some children do not have any of that. Stop feeling sad and count your blessings.

I'm sure the OP will appreciate the reminder that only the saddest person in the world is now entitled to feel sad.

Thats not the point.

A lot of teens are presenting with anorexia - severe enough to be in hospital. A lot of children with autism not coping. My own is coping but missing out on so much.

It's so fucking sad imo.

@DivineRoyalty

*7 year old has just broken down crying he's fed up of lockdown misses school and his nan, grandad , auntie He has been out in the park today with friends at distance so is getting that child interaction* You also have a safe house, running water, food? Some children do not have any of that. Stop feeling sad and count your blessings.

FFS. So basically nobody in Europe should be concerned about their children's wellbeing (or their own) ever, because we are sooooooo lucky.

People's experience of life is relative. I'm sure someone who lived 10000 years ago would think the poorest people in the UK now lived a life of unimaginable luxury.

People are allowed to have feelings. Life is not an Olympics of misery.

There was a thread on here a few days ago and one poster managed to describe that her 1 year old has never been held by anyone, or had any interaction with anyone (apart from Mum and Dad obviously). Her other older child broke down in the playground because a child stood close to her. I suspect this will have severe trauma results in future. What can you do? Virtual interaction I suppose? Fresh air when possible. I'm a great believer in fresh air and exercise.

You also have a safe house, running water, food?
Some children do not have any of that. Stop feeling sad and count your blessings.

Helpful.

Running water and a house doesn't really mean an awful lot to a child who has had their life turned upside down.

@DivineRoyalty

*7 year old has just broken down crying he's fed up of lockdown misses school and his nan, grandad , auntie He has been out in the park today with friends at distance so is getting that child interaction* You also have a safe house, running water, food? Some children do not have any of that. Stop feeling sad and count your blessings.

This isn't about OP I'm sure she knows that there are many people worse off than her. Its about her 7 year old who's struggling. Don't think he's going to really factor that into the equation. Maybe he's a grown up 7 year old who would understand that some children have it worse off, but he's 7 and 7 year olds feel their feelings very strongly. So that comment is very silly and very unhelpful.

OP sadly it's normal, and I'm sorry your son is struggling so much. There's been so much academic educational research into the wide reaching effects of this. Sadly I feel that we need to just struggle through, I'm very sure you're doing the best you can for you DS, validate his feelings and try your best to keep him happy at home. I'm sorry I have no more practical advice because really the only answer is schools opening and the kids going back to their friends. Hopefully we will start to get some more positive news after 8 march and some ideas when that might happen, but that will feel a long way away with a miserable child. I'm so sorry.

DivineRoyalty I can only assume you don't have young children?

OP, I understand your concerns. Both mine are fed up and their behaviour became more difficult. My 6 year old regressed, also started wetting bed. He is scared of being by himself, even in the toilet. We reassure and support him in hope that it gets better. We acknowledge their feelings, talk about what we miss. We talk about all the fun things we are going to do and see when this is over. My dd made a post covid bucket list. We talk about how this will not last forever and the progress we are making with the vaccines. DivineRoyalty must be a bored troll. Don’t feed the troll!

You could have a look at this website OP, it's been mentioned in a few education boards I'm on (I'm an SEN teacher, not saying your son has SEN but I mean we all see the same resources, children are all children!)

youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/supporting-your-child-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/coronavirus-advice-suppport-children-families-parents/

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/coronavirus/parenting-during-coronavirus-outbreak

To be honest though I'm sure there's nothing new to you here, so I'm sorry if it's of no help whatsoever.

I'm early thirties and I cried down the phone to my mum for half an hour yesterday for the very reasons your 7 year old cried. I have no answers I'm afraid. I guess it's a case of keep supporting and listening

@YouOkHunX

DivineRoyalty I can only assume you don't have young children?

I don't have children and wouldn't have made a comment like that! Some people are just completely lacking in understanding and sympathy, whether they have children or not.

It’s terribly sad for lots of kids and adults at the moment. Some times are better than other, but I think a lot of families are really struggling at the moment ( I’m a psychologist and my family consultations this week have been really hard!). It’s even harder when everyone in a family is struggling at the same time.

I’ve wished for a magic wand ( at home and work) a thousand times this week. The best I’ve got is:

Feelings are fine and it’s good that children are communicating these.
Name the feelings, validate them, let kids know you feel them too and can manage them.
Where you can, slow down, remove unnecessary demands ( easier said than done). Do nice, undemanding stuff together ( I can recommended TV dog grooming contests)
Schoolwork is important but mental health matters more at the moment. Be flexible with timings and how/ what you do.
Comparing your good fortune with the misfortune of other doesn’t work. It’s a cognitive response to an emotional state. It just engenders shame.
If it works fit you, do some yoga or mindfulness together. If it doesn’t, bake a cake or have a kitchen disco. Do nice stuff. Get outside. Lots.
It’s hard containing feelings another person feels aren’t manageable. Be kind to yourself too. Get in the car and do a really loud scream if you need to ( I briefly lost my voice doing this last week!)

I’m so sorry so many children are struggling. Mine are too at times and so are the families I work with. It’s really crap at the moment and it’s okay to say so.

My DS7 had a tendency towards anxiety and big emotions anyway. He's lost both grandparents, who he was very close to, in the last 12 months and is constantly worried about his beloved aunt as she isn't in the best of health. He misses his friends and his family. He had a baby cousin in August that he hasn't seen. He was struggling in school anyway and being assessed for ASD which is now on hold and really struggling with online learning, especially while I'm wfh full time and his 3 year old brother is here to distract him.

We often discuss how lucky he is with a nice warm house, toys, parents who love him, friends that we see from a distance on the park etc, but it doesn't take away the sadness and worry. I caught him in his bedroom 'sterilising' his art kit that only he had used.

My daughter thankfully is at school . I am very concerned about children’s mental health . I think this is going to be a huge issue .

We need to hear the government TALKING about this. At the moment, they are turning a blind eye, pretending it's not happening, telling us to "suck it up and stay at home". I will not believe they have our interests at heart until they start admitting to the legacy and destruction of their lockdowns, thanking us for our sacrifices, and lay out concrete plans for what they intend to about this, other than "we're just going to put taxes up, and resign before any of that comes to light".

3 year old is the same. Angry outbursts which end in tears of sadness- asking if coronavirus will go tomorrow and that he misses his grandparents and friends. Asks if Boris will let us have friends to play yet. So sad for him. I’m sad for them all

Yes I’m so worried about my 5 year old. Tonight he said to me ‘I’m so tired, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.......I don’t want to school until I can go back’

He really struggled in the first lockdown- his baby brother was born the same day he got sent home from school and his whole world flipped upside down! We had frequent bursts of tears and rage episodes that I have never seen in him. He is such a happy, sociable child usually. When reception and y1 were allowed to return in the summer our school still only opened to vulnerable and keyworker but after how he’d been classed him as vulnerable for his mental health. This time round they aren’t interested in his vulnerability and as I’m back at work we can put him in school only the days we both work as keyworkers which due to shifts means very sporadic days in school- none some weeks, odd days other weeks with days at home in between. The lack of routine and continuity is so hard for him and the rage and crying is back. He’s really clingy to us and has started wrapping himself in blankets and gets really annoyed/ upset if we ask him to come out for anything like his tea or other stuff. We’ve had a lovely weekend doing some family stuff and he seemed really happy until this came out tonight and it has made me so sad.