How do I deal with resentment?

[Peculiartimes]

It’s our 4th isolation in the last 4 months. I try my best to follow the guidelines because I know how devastating restrictions are, but they will not end unless infection rates drop. My children don’t go outdoors after a contact with a positive case, because that’s what isolating means. Our place is tiny, outside space non existent. It does affect my children. They are used to everyday walks and very active. We are struggling.
However, every single classmate of theirs is going out for walks. Some sending me pictures and posting them on social media! Such fun! I don’t know even one family isolating properly and they are the first to express anger and frustration when the schools keep closing or bubbles isolating.
I feel like I betray my own children and I feel stupid.
I don’t know how to deal with resentment. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but we have lost so much to this pandemic and it’s all in vain because even people with nice comfortable lifestyles choose not to bother. Some go as far as going food shopping together during isolation. Not one of these people got caught with fines or warnings.
Sorry for the rant, but do I really miss something? I do know that the chance of transmission is very low for solitary walks in the park. But where people get this courage and entitlement to disregard the rules on a regular basis knowing it could potentially affect others? Do I pick and choose what to follow?

I can’t force myself to blame people who don’t isolate because they will lose a roof over their heads or won’t be able to put a meal on their kids’ tables. People I’m taking about are not from this category. They just do what they want because they want it. And no one checks on them. Unless it’s a party next door, there’s no way to report them so I never did. So I’m always coming back to why I’m sacrificing my children’s health for people like this. Same people who complain they can’t get a hold of GP, that the schools are closed, that they can’t have a vacation. I just... can’t. I will reconsider a lot of friendships I had in the past, I can’t stay in a regular contact with people like this anymore.

That is unlucky. Well fingers crossed this is the last one.

That sounds so hard op.
You are right to follow the rules.
I really dont understand the relevance of posters who base their advice on the fact that they "live in the back end of nowhere" - op doesn't! And I think they are just trying to justify risking others and blatantly breaking the law.

However, if you are isolating because of a contact and no-one in the house has symptoms then it is only the direct contact that needs to isolate.
Eg, if one dc is asked to isolate because their class bubble has burst, then only they must isolate. You and the other dc don't have to.
Apologies as I know you probably already know this - and I understand that for single parents with kids who can't be left unattended, it amounts to the same thing anyway.

With respect OP, you started your thread as if you've been isolating forever. I honestly thought months... You and your partner have both been going to work and your children have been going to school! Now you have to stay home for what, 10 days? Your children have been seeing friends at school. You've been speaking to other adults at work. Your OP makes no sense to me.

@DianaT1969
Really? For me and for my shielding friends it’s actually really challenging to stay locked and see that others don’t bother. But if you do have an experience of isolating in a tiny flat with zero outdoor space with small children day in and day out and feel absolutely cool and relaxed about it, I’m deeply impressed by your resilience. You’re great.

Hospitals shouldn't be telling people they can go for walks when isolating, because they shouldn't. I'm a contact advisor and people ask me all the time, and unfortunately the answer is no, it's against the law.

I don't think it is against the law for you and your children to go out on your own and keep a good distance from others. How could they or you possibly infect anyone if they do that?

You're right not going into shops where it is more difficult to keep the required distance but a walk should be fine.

@LizFlowers

I don't think it is against the law for you and your children to go out on your own and keep a good distance from others. How could they or you possibly infect anyone if they do that?

You're right not going into shops where it is more difficult to keep the required distance but a walk should be fine.

It is against the law not to self isolate if instructed to do so.

From the NHS website:

'It's a legal requirement to self-isolate if you test positive or are told to self-isolate by NHS Test and Trace. You could be fined if you do not self-isolate.'

Yep, it's definitely the law, you could be fined if caught. We phone people to tell them they are a contact, if we cant contact them within 48 hours they are referred for enforcement where someone will most likely turn up at the house

Op you are doing the right thing and it must be really hard and frustrating to see others not following, its prob due to people doing that, that other cases then happen and then further isolation for all.
It must be hard with no outside space as well

@RosesAndLemonade but when you were waiting for hospital you had not been told to
Isolate due to being close contact of a confirmed case , so that is slightly different .

@Lizflowers surely everyone knows if you are told to isolate you have to stay home except in emergency etc

Op you say some of them even go shopping ? You mean adults take children who are isolating ?

@RosesAndLemonade your early posts imply something quite different. There is a huge difference between LD and isolation. In any event, stop encouraging the OP to break the rules, it’s illegal and prolonging this awful situation.

[quote BananaPop2020]@RosesAndLemonade your early posts imply something quite different. There is a huge difference between LD and isolation. In any event, stop encouraging the OP to break the rules, it’s illegal and prolonging this awful situation.[/quote]
I'm not encouraging anything. She's an adult I'm sure she can make her own choices

And PP yes I was told that by the hospital and yes if I was isolating from a positive case (which I've also done) I would go for a walk behind my house where I would see no one.
You can't get to that land except from round the side of our property. It's deserted. It's not our land but yoh can't really get there otherwise. I'm not going to be so worried if you guys manage to pick fault in that - need a bit of perspective I think

@Peculiartimes

I can’t force myself to blame people who don’t isolate because they will lose a roof over their heads or won’t be able to put a meal on their kids’ tables. People I’m taking about are not from this category. They just do what they want because they want it. And no one checks on them. Unless it’s a party next door, there’s no way to report them so I never did. So I’m always coming back to why I’m sacrificing my children’s health for people like this. Same people who complain they can’t get a hold of GP, that the schools are closed, that they can’t have a vacation. I just... can’t. I will reconsider a lot of friendships I had in the past, I can’t stay in a regular contact with people like this anymore.

This in spades. I feel more resentful as because I know this is happening, I'm avoiding busy playgrounds etc at the moment as well when kids aren't isolating. I feel like a monster BUT a huge amount of my reasoning is that people who have it or should be isolating just fucking aren't. They are beyond selfish, and whilst they won't deprive their darlings during isolation (let's face it, we have all seen isolation play dates on social media), they are sticking their fingers up at everyone else, keeping us locked up for longer and depriving our kids. A lot of the shit show we are in is due to government decisions. However given the situation we are in, ffs isolate when you should! Again, if it's a choice between food and isolating, extreme life circumstances etc, then I understand. Play dates, playgrounds and shops etc on isolation. - just stop it! I do resent it, yes!

@DianaT1969

With respect OP, you started your thread as if you've been isolating forever. I honestly thought months... You and your partner have both been going to work and your children have been going to school! Now you have to stay home for what, 10 days? Your children have been seeing friends at school. You've been speaking to other adults at work. Your OP makes no sense to me.

This.

Yes it must be hard for you to stay in fit 10 days straight when you live in a small flat or whatever with limited outdoor space.

BUT it's also dreadful to be a single parent working from home with three children who haven't been able to go to school for months and months in the past year.

We must all make sacrifices and do whatever we can to help squash this virus spread. If you had said for example you are on the brink of suicide without a walk a day, that may be different. But to break the rules and law just because you're envious of all the other dickheads out there who don't follow them, when you've already been able to go to work and school? You'd be even more of a dickhead.

I'm not sure if we could do the full 10 days with ds. He has severe autism and being inside for that length of time may become horrendous but I would go out quietly and wouldn't be splashing it about that I was doing it.

@RosesAndLemonade the blanket rule is there and should be followed. What if you had an accident while out, and needed to seek assistance for example? Please don't encourage people to break the rules or we'll just prolong this hell.
Well done OP, it is hard but you're doing the right thing.

Anger would be better directed towards government.

‘people who think it’s fine to ignore these rules have got us where we are’ isn’t borne out by evidence / analysis on the UK case numbers, deaths etc.

[quote Scottishgirl85]@RosesAndLemonade the blanket rule is there and should be followed. What if you had an accident while out, and needed to seek assistance for example? Please don't encourage people to break the rules or we'll just prolong this hell.
Well done OP, it is hard but you're doing the right thing.[/quote]
Everyone on here is a grown adult. I'm not encouraging anything.

What if what if what if. Give it a rest.

It sounds like you are British which means propensity to cling to resentment crossed over the umbilical cord and is constantly celebrated by the culture you grew up in. As a foreigner I guess I have nothing useful to say.