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Original poster

Taking responsibility for our own risks *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

58 replies

hulahoopqueen · 28/01/2021 10:16

Sorry for the DF link: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9194443/FOUR-members-family-died-Covid-met-Christmas-bubble.html

So the woman's fiance (a supermarket worker) met up with his parents for 2 hours on Christmas Day. His parents and uncle tested positive within the next week. Another uncle then had it passed on to him when one of the family went round to assist when the fiance's mum was in hospital.

This is obviously heartbreaking for the family - but how can you say that this is entirely the fault of the government? The writing was on the wall, mixing over Christmas was obviously going to spread the disease, but they took the risk of meeting up and now this has happened. I'm not sure the government could have made it any clearer that meeting up over Christmas WOULD cause deaths.

Frustrating as hell listening to people who took the risk and are now suffering the consequences, when our family decided it wasn't worth risking it and put a million socially distanced measures into place to protect my grandma in her 90s - he passed away in June from undiagnosed stage 4 ovarian cancer, with none of us having seen her since March.

You took the chance, you knew the risks.

OP posts:
TheClaws · 28/01/2021 10:25

You could say it is the family's fault that they decided to meet up, subsequently caught COVID and passed away. However, it would be unkind (and perhaps unscientific) to say that. Some things are better left unsaid.

Buzzinwithbez · 28/01/2021 10:26

It's desperately sad but I'm not sure anyone is to blame. He was a supermarket worker, so has been working right through, I assume.
I can't really make sense of the chain of events according to that article. I think they've been desperately unlucky.

Mousehole10 · 28/01/2021 10:31

It’s very sad, but I fail to see how it’s the governments fault. No one forced them to meet up, they took the risk.

Januaryissodull · 28/01/2021 10:31

Nobody is to blame.

I'm quite disturbed by this new concept that people have to be to blame for someone contracting or passing on a virus that you may not even have any symptoms.

Original poster
hulahoopqueen · 28/01/2021 10:36

just to be clear - my frustration is with the reiteration throughout the article that it must be the government's fault :

"'I wish that Boris had said nobody could visit each other at Christmas,' she said. [...] 'Please, you really need to take this seriously."

As if people have not been taking it seriously?

OP posts:
Angel2702 · 28/01/2021 10:43

I know what you mean, she’s blaming the gorverment for their deaths as if they were forced to meet. At no point did the government even say it was safe to meet, it was allowed but made very clear you should think very carefully because of the risks, particularly with vulnerable family members.

Mumisnotmyonlyname · 28/01/2021 10:46

From the world health organisation this morning:

The World Health Organization’s European director, Hans Kluge, said on Thursday Covid-19 transmission rates in Europe remained too high, putting health services under severe strain, and therefore it was “too early to ease up”.

“We need to be patient, it will take time to vaccinate,” he told an online briefing. “We have learned harsh lessons - opening and closing, and reopening (societies) rapidly is a poor strategy” in seeking to curb coronavirus contagion, he said.

This. And unclear communication. If it's not safe, don't allow it.

itsgettingweird · 28/01/2021 11:13

It's not the governments fault.

They were clear the risks were high. Hence why some areas you couldn't meet and others it was reduced to a day.

They made a decision based on a calculated risk which sadly backfired horrifically for the family.

I also think it's pertinent to note they were also all high risk due to age and health. But I think that's something people won't acknowledge and it'll remain the elephant in the room.

HairyFloppins · 28/01/2021 11:17

It's such a sad story but people knew the risks. It was only us Christmas day. I think one of them was shielding as well and some don't look very healthy.

I get that they are grieving and are naturally lashing out.

Barnicus · 28/01/2021 11:27

I really don't like the blame culture that is developing around corona.

It's a virus, it's going to do what it's going to do. There doesn't always have to be someone to blame.

Loads of people are catching it in hospital, are they to blame for breaking their hip, or are they somehow more worthy than someone who nipped to the shops for a bar of chocolate to cheer themselves up and caught it.

Remember the good old days when we just used to feel sympathy for the sick and dying rather than try to blame them or rate the worthiness of how the caught it.

4 people in the one family died, how about maybe just thinking what a shame rather that who's fault it is.

Forgetmenot157 · 28/01/2021 11:30

It's Not the government's fault. The government say you can drive a car at 17.... If a 17 year old is reckless and kills someone via dangerous driving... Is that the government's fault??? No its not

RosesAndLemonade · 28/01/2021 11:32

As other people have said this new blame culture is horrible. Callous OP

PrincessNutNuts · 28/01/2021 11:36

If they broke the rules you can blame them.

If they didn't, then blame the rules.

Buzzinwithbez · 28/01/2021 11:42

@hulahoopqueen

just to be clear - my frustration is with the reiteration throughout the article that it must be the government's fault :

"'I wish that Boris had said nobody could visit each other at Christmas,' she said. [...] 'Please, you really need to take this seriously."

As if people have not been taking it seriously?

I just don't feel we need infantalising like that as a whole in this country. How have we got to a point where we can't take responsibility for our own decisions?
Original poster
hulahoopqueen · 28/01/2021 11:43

@RosesAndLemonade

As other people have said this new blame culture is horrible. Callous OP
Others have mentioned the blame culture - just want to be clear I'm not at all blaming the family for anything. It's a tragic thing to happen.

What I am disliking is the family blaming the government for the choices they chose to make - ie, meeting at Christmas. As other posters have said, this was their choice, and the gv at no point suggested this was a safe or advisable thing to do - people took the chance and weighed up the risks themselves, and tragically in this case the consequences have been fatal.

OP posts:
Original poster
hulahoopqueen · 28/01/2021 11:44

@Buzzinwithbez totally agree

OP posts:
RosesAndLemonade · 28/01/2021 11:44

It's still all some sort of weird blame culture. The whole thing.

Original poster
hulahoopqueen · 28/01/2021 11:47

In terms of the title, it's relating to the comments in the article made by the man's partner, blaming the government for these circumstances

I actually agree with her comment at the end of the article that the lockdown in the UK was too little too late.

However, the specific instance of the Christmas meeting is what she is saying killed her partner and his family, and she is saying that this was the government's fault. This was the trigger for the title.

OP posts:
skoobysnax · 28/01/2021 11:52

We are all responsible for our own actions. I look after my very old mum. If I give her the virus it's unfortunate but she is aware of the risk when I care for her.

DioneTheDiabolist · 28/01/2021 11:55

My friend got Covid at work then his father (they lived together) got it and died. He blames himself for his dad's death. I can see why people seek to attribute blame to the government/China/god as a defense mechanism. I wish my friend would.Sad

AuntyClementine · 28/01/2021 11:56

I’m not sure the blame culture is really anything new. It’s been around for years. If you trip over a paving slab, it’s the council’s fault. If you fall down the pub stairs it’s the pub’s fault for having stairs. I once worked for a law firm and someone called because they wanted to claim because they tripped over the rug in their living room. They beat a retreat when they were told the claim would be against themselves.

knittingaddict · 28/01/2021 11:56

I won't click on a DM link, so did anyone die? Are they grieving?

Hellswithbigbells · 28/01/2021 12:02

However, the specific instance of the Christmas meeting is what she is saying killed her partner and his family, and she is saying that this was the government's fault. This was the trigger for the title

I agree OP going on the record to accuse the Government for the choice that they ultimately made is ill thought out. It is a very sad story and definitely there are many questions about the Governments decisions but they did not mandate that the family had to mix at Christmas.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 28/01/2021 12:04

They are grieving, and it's an awful situation. But the rules don't make mixing risk free.
By now we all know that viruses pass on contact. They chose to mix with their family, and took the risk. We knew lockdown was coming and it was getting serious.

If they had isolated before mixing at christmas, they wouldn't have caught it and passed it on.

It's obviously a horrible situation, but the rules didn't kill anyone, the virus did. Mixing lets the virus do what it does.

itsgettingweird · 28/01/2021 12:05

@PrincessNutNuts

If they broke the rules you can blame them.

If they didn't, then blame the rules.

Rules are you can drive a car at 70mph.

If someone did that and died are the rules at fault?

You take a calculated risk for your own actions.