CEV and sending 4 year old to nursery

[Pleasebe2022]

I have crohns. I'm on immune suppressant but they are not working and I'm still in flare. I'm working full time and home schooling a 7 year old.

I'm really struggling. 4 year old spends all day on tablet and gets destructive when battery dies. I feel unwell and I feel some of it is stress.

He has a full time paid for nursery space.

Anyone Cev and sending youngster to nursery?

If you are shielding, then you really need to reduce your household exposure.

I know it's tough, but shielding is strict for a reason. It's worrying enough when rates are low and school age DC need to attend. Bringing in that level of worry when you don't need to sounds like a whole heap of avoidable stress. Frying pan and fire springs to mind.

it might not be for much longer - stick with it and hope that it's more under control in a few weeks and we can start to think about when it'll be safe enough to pause shielding again

I'm not CEV but some of my friends are and none of them want to risk sending their children in and I totally understand even though it is incredibly hard.

You really can't play around if you're CEV. I say this as someone who works in a school. I know how gross 4 year olds can be. They share everything ...even bodily fluids....

Is there any other childcare options that aren’t as busy? Grandparents? Whilst appreciating you have already paid out once.

I'm sorry that things are so hard for you at the moment.

However, putting myself in your position the stress of sending my child to nursery (which we all know are like Petri dishes) would be worse than the stress of having them at home.

Unfortunately I don't think there is a low stress option here, unless you can form a childcare bubble and get a couple of hours off a couple of times a week?

Mite just be enough to keep your head above water

Have you spoken to your doctor about how vulnerable you actually are? From what I can tell cev covers quite a broad range so some individualised advice might help

Oh OP, that sounds incredibly tough. Where is Dad in all of this? I'm assuming you're a single mum and that must be unbelievably tough right now.

When are you due to get your vaccine? I'd continue to call your nearest vaccination centre and ask them to contact you if/when they have any cancellations. I've heard of a few CEV people get their first jab earlier than planned by doing this.

I’m CEV due to 2 conditions, either of which on their own would put me in the shielding category. We took our DD out of nursery in early March on doctor’s advice before shielding was even mentioned. She went back in late September when the rates were low and tested positive for covid within a couple of weeks. Neither of us got it so we’re not sure if she actually had it. We haven’t sent her back since December as the rates here were so high (over 1400 per 100k at the start of Jan). We’re planning to keep her off until I’ve had the second vaccine. It’s hard for her and for us (both working) and I think some people think we’re overreacting but it’s not worth the risk for us in my view.

Childcare bubble might be less risk if you have that as an option? We haven’t been able to do that due to no family nearby but if the rest of the family is all at home, then that would be quite low risk in comparison to nursery.

Thankyou everyone. I can ask my parents for help and they have helped a bit but they cant manage much. My husband is here and doing his fair share. I make sure 7 year old gets on all her lessons and husband gets 4 year old on his 3 nursery sessions a day. Today 4 year old was screaming hed done a poo and needed bottom wipe and both me and husband were on conference calls we were leading so couldnt leave. We both have very senior jobs and it's too intense although I love my job.

I've been ill for ages with crohns and tried several drugs that havent worked. I feel my body is so wound up it's just fighting everything.

I feel so worn down by it all I've got to the stage of 'if I die I die'. I know that's bad but this is no life.

Also told I can have Pfizer vacs but no date yet. On immune suppressant no one knows how I'll respond to vacs. I may not create any immunity anyway.

It all seems so bleak.

Husbands going to take a week off work soon and I will too.

Thanks everyone for your sensible words. I will keep 4 year old home.

My husband is CEV, also do to medication from Crohns. He has discussed coming off his medication, as is the plan in the next couple of years but his consultant said it’s not a good idea as a flare up would be an even more dangerous situation to catch the virus in. What is your sick pay like?

I’m CEV due to taking immunosuppressants for an autoimmune disease. We have an 18 month old that is in nursery as my DH is a teacher working full time in a special school, so I cant avoid it nor could I work and look after DD and work from home. You have to do what is right for you. I have my vaccine this Saturday so hoping that will help.

My husband is CEV and I really, really wouldn't risk it, certainly before the vaccine and even then probably not. Could you consider other options such as going off sick yourself first? Good luck whatever you decide.

Yes. I have UC, horrendous flare. 2x immunosuppressants, steroids. My DD2 is at nursery and I work as an SEN teacher. I've never shielded. I've had covid and I was fine.
As it goes I'm likely not going to work next week but that's because I'll be in hospital with this flare and nothing to do with covid!

Also I've just added extra days for DD2 and If I'm in hospital I will be asking DD1 to go into school. I'm hoping they will let her as my DH can't cope alone as he works full-time. Her school wouldn't let her in with 1x keyworker parent - I've never shielded and have worked the whole time throughout this pandemic, ignoring the shielding advice. But I'm asking for extra days because I can't cope with being this unwell and the childcare.

To PP saying CEV doesn't cover most of autoimmune- that's correct and actually taking immunosuppressants for IBD doesn't mean you need to shield, it's only if you're taking them + 20mg or more of steroids that you do.
However uncontrollabled flares also does require shielding should you wish. I don't wish. But if OP feels she should that actually is correct (it's me doing the wrong thing!)

Thankyou Roses. Very keen to hear how covid was for you. My consultant seems to think that already being on immune suppressants could help. But i cant heal a basic cut and a cold takes weeks so i don't know how i could defend against covid!

The living in constant fear is exhausting. I don't have anxiety but i would always worry something bad would happen (crohns knocks your confidence that shit only happens to other people) but this is just a different level and im near to giving up and hugging a covid person and see what happens. I just want it over with which is stupid i know. Just got to hold in there. Its not like i can eat lots of yummy food and get fatter either as my crohns wont let me. Unless i go back on steroids of course and then i balloon!

I have got myself a bone china tea cup and saucer and a tea pot and i love having that as a treat and i have just ordered myself some lovely new bedding. Ive also ordered the kids a colour change shower head they will love. Little things to keep going!

Taken my foot off the gas today at work too. Missed a few meetings. Whatever it takes to get through the day.

In answer to the question about sick pay, my boss has been very understanding and i tend to work 1 day a weekend whilst my husband works the other so we can catch up a bit. I do have sick pay but theres no one to hand over my job too so im just limping alone.

along not alone

Hi all. Just after a chat about the same topic. I'm feeling a bit better than I was. My new medication isnt really working so I'm back on a higher dose of steroids which isnt great but means I can function more easily. I've had more tests to see if I have other problems and get the results in 2 weeks.

I'm worried about family health overall.

My 4 year old has a paid place at full time nursery but I havent sent him.

7 year old home schooling. She has dyslexia so requires more patience than some. I don't have much patience so weve had lots of tears and screaming but I have turned a corner this week learning how to handle her and have a much better approach now.

My husbands in a high stress job and is really struggling with his mood as hes so stressed and has depression. Obviously this affects all of us.

My 4 year old is being a total shit. Hes spiteful, nasty to his sister and rude to everyone. He also wont go to bed! I think hes just really bored. He spends most time on his tablet but melts down if anything doesnt go his way.

My parents are helping every other week for a few days but dads been Ill so help is limited and I've worried about him.

My job is as full on as ever and I sometimes feel I cant manage. I certainly cant keep up with it all and dont feel I'm doing a good job but I'm focused on the stuff I really need to do today so I think I'm getting by.

I've also had my first covid jab a week ago.

I'm really tempted to send 4 year old to nursery next week. But im still dithering. Every time I think I'll send him I hear a horror story and chicken out. My friends a teacher and says I may aswell send him as it's only 2 weeks until his sister will go back anyway.

I know no one can tell me it will be ok if I send him and that he wony bring back covid. And I know a lot of people are going through much worse. But just wandering if I should send 4 year old to nursery for his own well being as much as mine..

Last time majority of people said dont send him. I just wandered what peoples thoughts are now?.

I'm officially CV but had a discussion with my Dr in January who reviewed my medical
history and agreed I was doing the right thing keeping my 2 year old home from nursery and should be considered CEV for practical purposes (I had to get a letter to give nursery so I didn't have to pay full fees while he wasn't going). I have a just turned 5 year old too who's in Reception. Homeschooling him while trying to occupy his whirlwind brother has been a nightmare. I haven't been called for vaccine yet but going to chase it up at an appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping that I'll get it very soon, so a few weeks before DS1 goes back to school (hopefully). I prob won't send DS2 back to nursery until at least 3 weeks after my first dose but don't think I'll be able to keep him home until I've had second one - my employer has been great and part-furloughed me but not sure how far they'll stretch that.

I don't know how vulnerable your condition makes you, but I'd hang on a few more weeks until your first dose has at least reached max effectiveness.

Just got yet another bloody shielding email from the government. Says I should shield until end march. Feeling low now. I thought 8th march was the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not sure I can hold on with all of us stuck at home another 6 weeks.

The pug I didnt know I could maybe use my shielding letter to get some fees off nursery. I'll send am email off tomorrow.

I was thinking wait for 3 weeks from covid vacs too. I'm on immune suppressant and steroids for my condition. Aggghh. I know it's ridiculous as I've got a well paid job I've managed to keep and a house and garden and 2 lovely kids and parents who try to be involved. But it still feels hard.

Just to add our situation into the mix... We are in a similar situation and shielding due to very similar condition, we have sent our children to nursery/school throughout this lockdown but reduced their days.

Lockdown last March we kept them home.

The shielding advice has always been directed at the individual person that is shielding rather than their household and has again today said to still send children in the household to school (when open of course), although agree that it’s easier said than done as living in the same house it feels the wrong thing to do.

For us we continued school and nursery this time as we very much needed it for the sanity of us all, and the places were available to us. As with everyone it’s been a long slog and this lockdown we had to balance up mental health reasons as well, including the effects of yet more shielding, and the juggle with stressful jobs etc.

Our decision was also influenced by being in an area with very low infection rates and we watched the stats closely each week during January and before sending the children in each week, if we had higher rates or had been in tier 3/4 before lockdown we may have decided differently

It’s a tough decision and I’m not convinced there’s a right or wrong answer, safest option stay put at home but our priority right now was the overall health sanity and welfare of us all and for us that meant some nursery/school this lockdown