Do you think things will be normal by the end of the year?

unsocialbutterfly · 2021-01-27T17:26:05+00:00

The reason I ask is I've just found out I'm expecting and I'm due in October. Last time I had a baby the in laws came over from abroad and stayed with us for 2 whole bloody weeks straight after he was born. It was unbearable when I just wanted to relax in my own home. On top of that the constant stream of visitors was exhausting. If things are bad I really don't want them staying with us - the thought of my baby being cuddled by someone who's just got off a flight with god knows who on it doesn't sit well with me!

Katie517 · 27/01/2021 18:38

Perhaps you should be grown up enough to let people know that you aren’t wanting visitors, not hoping that covid will get you out of an awkward conversation! There are people who will be hoping and praying that we are back to normal by then so they can have visitors and see family. If you don’t like seeing your family and having friends come over maybe let them know. I had a baby in the summer and was so happy that we were able to have visitors to share the special time with us and that people cared enough to make the effort to come and see us but then again I’m a very social person who enjoys human contact. If I didn’t I would be confident enough to tell people though.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 27/01/2021 18:39

I came on to say I fucking hope so. Them read that you want it to continue for your own convenience.

I fucking despair.

XazieRose · 27/01/2021 18:40

No.

Fizzybottle · 27/01/2021 18:47

@JayAlfredPrufrock

I came on to say I fucking hope so. Them read that you want it to continue for your own convenience.

I fucking despair.

This

Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:09

@Katie517

Perhaps you should be grown up enough to let people know that you aren’t wanting visitors, not hoping that covid will get you out of an awkward conversation! There are people who will be hoping and praying that we are back to normal by then so they can have visitors and see family. If you don’t like seeing your family and having friends come over maybe let them know. I had a baby in the summer and was so happy that we were able to have visitors to share the special time with us and that people cared enough to make the effort to come and see us but then again I’m a very social person who enjoys human contact. If I didn’t I would be confident enough to tell people though.

The in laws insist on staying with us and it's suffocating and exhausting. I know if I asked them to get a hotel all hell would break lose as DH never backs me up. Even asking them to stay in a hotel for a week first to make sure they didn't pick anything up on the flight over. It's not so much about being grown up as to know the hell it would cause for me and I would be called all the names under the sun.

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testingtesting321 · 27/01/2021 19:11

Why are you in a relationship with someone whose family call you names and who doesn't back you up?

sosotired1 · 27/01/2021 19:13

This needs to be the start of you taking some control... so that you can take care of your child and do what is in their best interests. If that doesn't include behind held by someone who just got off a plane, you are just going to have to stand up to them.... and it will be hard... and you will have to do it again and again but standing up for your child is parenting.

Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:14

@testingtesting321

Why are you in a relationship with someone whose family call you names and who doesn't back you up?

I don't feel I would be able to do any better at my age, I depend on him financially since my son was born and he's my obviously his father. They put themselves on me and try to take over and if I so much as stand up for myself, whether it's regarding what DS was fed or where we went with him, I was all that is evil. They ruined the early days of him being a baby for me really.

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Beaniecats · 27/01/2021 19:15

No chance

Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:16

@sosotired1

This needs to be the start of you taking some control... so that you can take care of your child and do what is in their best interests. If that doesn't include behind held by someone who just got off a plane, you are just going to have to stand up to them.... and it will be hard... and you will have to do it again and again but standing up for your child is parenting.

I think this is the mistake I made when my 4 year old was born. I let people walk over me and tell me what I should do. We went to see them when he was 4 months and they wanted him out in bars with us until 3-4am as they wanted to show him to their mates.. I didn't like it and I of course stayed sober.. I heard them say I was a miserable cow. COVID aside maybe now I'm a bit older and second time round I might have to try to be brave and stand up for myself and what I am and am not comfortable with. It's hard when I don't get DH's support though. His parents are never wrong in his eyes, even if that means having a baby around drunken people at 4am..

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AuntyClementine · 27/01/2021 19:19

We had our first baby in August and I’d have happily put up with the constant stream of visitors in order for things to be normal. Instead, it’s just been three of us, nowhere to go other than the same walk for the millionth time, no classes, hardly any support, no breaks, the same shit every day. She’s seen one set of grandparents once and the other twice. Trust me, it’s an utterly dismal way to spend your maternity leave.

Toffeefee23 · 27/01/2021 19:20

Covid or no Covid just say no

Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:21

@AuntyClementine

We had our first baby in August and I’d have happily put up with the constant stream of visitors in order for things to be normal. Instead, it’s just been three of us, nowhere to go other than the same walk for the millionth time, no classes, hardly any support, no breaks, the same shit every day. She’s seen one set of grandparents once and the other twice. Trust me, it’s an utterly dismal way to spend your maternity leave.

I'm sorry to hear that

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Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:22

@Toffeefee23

Covid or no Covid just say no

I'm going to have to as I shouldn't be worrying like this about it already. They won't be taking over and using this baby as an object to show off at all hours to anyone like they did my poor first baby.

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JorisBonson · 27/01/2021 19:22

Your husband sounds awful.

Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:23

@JorisBonson

Your husband sounds awful.

He just sees nothing wrong in his parents at all, and if I disagree it's always me who's in the wrong or trying to be awkward no matter what the situation.

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Fembot123 · 27/01/2021 19:23

Congratulations 🥳 Probably not normal I shouldn’t think but you have to get things sorted out with your DP and tell him what you won’t tolerate this time.

Original poster

unsocialbutterfly · 27/01/2021 19:25

@Fembot123

Congratulations 🥳 Probably not normal I shouldn’t think but you have to get things sorted out with your DP and tell him what you won’t tolerate this time.

Thank you. You're right, I suppose COVID is a way to start the conversation and I'll tell him how I felt last time and that I won't accept it this time round.

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TheKeatingFive · 27/01/2021 21:05

This has little to do with Covid OP.

peak2021 · 27/01/2021 22:21

I don't think travel abroad will be, and I can imagine some things will require advance booking and/or face coverings.

I think a few businesses have used the pandemic as an excuse for poor service and that may remain. For example, I cannot see banks reverting to their old opening hours.

MiaMarshmallows · 27/01/2021 22:23

Yes I do. Maybe not packed out 02 arenas but definitely back to pretty much normal.

AndcalloffChristmas · 27/01/2021 22:27

You want all the rest of us to suffer under a pandemic just because you can’t say no to ILs or stand up for yourself? Ok then...