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Original poster

When will I see my parents again?

20 replies

Heatheronthehill · 22/01/2021 21:58

I’m really starting to feel panicky.
I haven’t seen my parents since July. They live 200 miles away from us.
I was supposed to see them at Christmas, but obviously that didn’t happen.
I find myself in tears regularly and I’m scared something will happen to them and I won’t see them ever again.
They are 62 and 58, so not elderly and they don’t have any underlying health issues.
I have a DS who is 2 and who they haven’t seen since July either. He’s changed so much and I’m so sad they’ve missed his birthday and his 2nd Christmas.
My mum is crying on FaceTime regularly because she misses us all so much and just wants to hug her grandson.
I feel like there’s no end in sight. I was hoping I’d see them in April, around Easter time. They were going to book an air b&b near to us so we could go for walks together and spend time as a family again. That would still be 9 months since we were all together.
But that hope is fading, especially after watching tonight’s press conference and reading about restrictions having to possibly be in place until the summer I don’t know how much more I can take.

OP posts:

CalamityJaneway · 22/01/2021 22:46

In pretty much the same boat, parents 3hrs away, in not great health and our fast growing 8 month old hasn't seen them since the summer and just spent her first Christmas alone. I know there are many dealing with far worse and we are comparatively very lucky, but that doesn't mean we can't grieve for the life we should be living.

My heart goes out to you, the longer this goes on the more hopeless it seems. But all being well the vaccine should be available to them in April, by then we could be back to regional tiers and distanced visits can become a reality again. That's my dream anyway..

Katie517 · 22/01/2021 22:53

I will get shot down for this but if this goes on past March we will be driving the 150 miles to see my in-laws with my baby, none of us are vulnerable I’m on mat leave, husband works from home, they both work from home. We see my parents as they are our bubble but I’m not prepared to keep my little one away from other grandparents for longer than that and we last saw them in December. Family is incredibly important to me and I don’t agree with being kept apart indefinitely, they will never get this time back with my little one.

Axlcat · 22/01/2021 22:56

I feel the same. I haven’t seen my mum since February. It’s so hard - I recieved a serious health diagnosis in March and I haven’t even been able to hug her. I miss her so much.

NewYearsEveWedding · 22/01/2021 23:08

I feel for you OP.

We haven’t seen my family since February last year. We live in the Channel Islands, them in England. Our son was born in October and it upsets me so much that my parents or sister haven’t met him. And won’t do for months. And I worry that I won’t see my 93 year old Grandad again. They are all missing so much of Dd5 growing too.

Best wishes to everyone away from family.

Mousehole10 · 22/01/2021 23:09

@Katie517

We have come to the same conclusion, we will be seeing my parents and in-laws in March. They’ve missed so much of my baby’s life and won’t be missing anymore.

Keyperfect · 22/01/2021 23:09

My parents are not in UK and I haven't seen them since Christmas 2019. They have never met our baby (9 months) and I'm starting to despair about when they might. This thing is a rollercoaster and today is one of those depressing days.

arthurdaly · 22/01/2021 23:12

@Katie517 totally agree! My parents are 200 miles away, we did manage to see them in December with the thanks of a holiday cottage up the road from them but if this goes on until DS 3rd birthday at the end of March we'll be going to see them.

Also know I'll get flamed but the reality is we're all bloody miserable and if we all want to accept the risk we will. Up until then I'll stick to the rules as have done throughout this whole thing

WaterBottle123 · 22/01/2021 23:43

Can you form a childcare bubble with them?

Notcontent · 22/01/2021 23:53

@Keyperfect

Same as me, so I know how you feel. I am really close to my parents and so is my dd, and this is so hard. I am trying not to think about it because when I do, I am filled with despair.

Illy605 · 22/01/2021 23:59

Haven’t seen my mum since last March. Am currently 19 weeks pregnant and facing the reality that I will not see my mum before I give birth. She lives in Scotland and I’m in NE so there will no doubt be the added restrictions of people travelling from outside Scotland.

MrsR87 · 23/01/2021 00:10

It’s totally crap isn’t it. I don’t know if it makes it better or worse that I share your pain!

I found out I was pregnant on the first day of lockdown in March. I started to show before the end of lockdown came and so had to tell my mum via video call as I couldn’t bear the thought of my colleagues and pupils working it out before I’d told those closest to me (I’m a teacher and was in school throughout the first lockdown). I know she was delighted that I was carrying her first grandchild but equally devastated that she couldn’t hug me, feel his kicks etc. He is ten weeks old now and his existence is me and his daddy. It breaks my heart!

soundofsilence1 · 23/01/2021 12:38

I have not seen mine since Christmas 2019. They live 200 miles away and originally said they would not see us until vaccinated. They are now saying that it might be longer given the vaccine is not 100%. I am not sure if they are genuinely scared or just don't want to see us. I have a 15 month old who they have only met once since he was born. They are in their 60s/early 70s but no underlying health issues.

faerin · 23/01/2021 12:47

Absolutely no idea..

It's utterly soul-crushing. I was meant to travel to see them at Christmas and my mother was so looking forward to it. Then of course we were put back into lockdown and it didn't happen. So now we're just endlessly waiting to "spend Christmas together" and unwrap gifts all together.

I absolutely hate this and would break the lockdown to see her today if I wasn't afraid of getting fined.

Dinky2004 · 23/01/2021 12:50

It's just so crap
I haven't seen my parents since Nov 2019 as they live in Sweden, was due to go beginning of March last year but cancelled due to this.

vodkaredbullgirl · 23/01/2021 12:51

I've not been to see my parents since October 2019, they are in their 80's. Speak to them on the phone or on whatsap, they live 200 miles away.

Mcmole · 23/01/2021 12:53

I feel the same, I haven't seen mine for almost a year now, and DD was saying the other day that she is worried she'll never see her granny and grandad again. They are 500 miles away. It is so crap.

IgnoranceIsStrength · 23/01/2021 12:58

Exactly the same situation. 200 miles so has to be overnight. Last saw beginning of august. My mum is really struggling now. We do facetime blah blah blah but it isnt the same. I find it really hard especially at weekends as DH works out of house

Stellaris22 · 23/01/2021 13:03

Haven't seen family who live 300 miles away since December 2019 and virtually attended my grandmothers funeral last week after passing away from Covid. It's horrible but we are all socially distancing etc so I know it's still going to be a long time till we see each other.

We are all healthy so I'm not risking travelling.

SarahMused · 23/01/2021 13:07

My Dad is 87 and lives a three hour drive away. To be honest we have been guided by him and happy to risk a fine or whatever if he said he needed company or some other practical help. He decided not to come up over Christmas as we had our two uni student children home and our daughter who works as a hospital doctor here. However we went down to his before Christmas and helped with sorting everything from his shopping to fixing his fire alarm. He has now had the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine so as soon as he is happy either we will visit him or we will go down and bring him up to stay as the second dose isn’t due until April. If we leave it until lockdown ends we might never see him again.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/01/2021 13:14

I'm in the same boat. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas 2019 (they are in Ireland, not getting younger, some health issues). We usually nip over 5 or 6 times a year to see them, and I am feeling increasingly panicky at the length of my absence.

I think it is particularly hard at the moment because we were expecting things to get better, and it hasn't happened yet.

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