Funerals during COVID. Experiences please?

[Ohdoleavemealone]

DH gran has died and there will be a funeral either next week or the week after. With Kids not being in school, we have no childcare unless we take them. They are 8 &5 and I don't think it is the right thing to do but wondered if people can give me ideas of what services are like at the moment. Will they be told off for hugging their gran when upset?

I could ask my mum to have them but she lives an hour away and works outside the home so may not be possible. Could I ask the school to have them for a day? I am a key worker so could have a place but DH is furloughed so we haven't been sending them.

So sorry to hear this. I'm sure they will be relaxed about a family bubble hugging, but my experience was that the funeral I attended was very odd, everyone very separate, no singing and it was all quite distressingly not what the person would have wanted. I would probably think as a first intro to a funeral this wouldn't be the best time so I would ask the school if they can take them. It's not quite the hugs/'celebration of life' type thing they might be able to participate in.

Agree with popping, albeit I haven't been to a Covid times funeral although sadly it's likely I will have to plan one at some point.

I'm not against even quite small kids attending funerals but I would think twice in the current circumstances.

Hopefully the school will be able to help you out.

There may be very limited numbers allowed.

Not as bad as I feared tbh given the circumstances.
At DGM funeral the seats were separated and the instructions were that you have to stick to SD rules. It would probably be best to warn them prior to going that they would need to stick close to you.
FIL just died so we will be at another funeral next week.

I would say if you can find alternative care that is best. They are not in a bubble with Gran so shouldn't be hugging etc. I would just send one of you to the service and the other watch on line if possible.

Thanks everyone. Either school, or me staying home seems the only options then. I'm not against staying at home as it seems the right thing to do, but it feels very wrong not going.

Agree with @Heybeendyingtomeetyou it wasn’t as bad as I thought and was actually lovely as far as they go. It was in April when only 12 could attend.

It was my dads funeral and he was a quiet man who didn’t like fuss. Originally the seats were going to all be laid out two metres apart. But I spoke to the undertaker in advance and explained only three households would be attending and I wanted each household to be able to sit together normally so we could all support and comfort each other (which was actually allowed). It would have been dreadful being 2 metres apart.

Explain to the kids about what will happen. They can hug your mum if part of her support bubble but otherwise explain to them they can’t.

I have been to 2 funerals in recent months, both watched on zoom virtually.

Both extremely moving.

It is possible still to celebrate someone's life in this situation.

Hope it all goes as smoothly as possible for you all.

I have attended 3 funerals due to Covid and children haven’t been at any of them. Although lovingly done, the experience was odd and personally I wouldn’t have children there. I think it might not be a fair introduction to what funerals are like if you see what I mean. But this is down to personal choice and your specific situation. I think you would be better off at home with the children but again- completely down to circumstance.

I've been to 2. Crematorium staff were lovely and social distancing wasn't enforced in an intrusive way. For FIL funeral we were allowed to be with MIL and siblings. I had to help his DGM into the building by linking arms and nothing was said either. Probably shouldn't have all happened but in the circumstance it needed to.
No spaced out chairs, just pews and a request to sit a household to each row (easy with limited numbers). Those who couldn't come in watched outside.
Other than the masks they both felt fairly normal.

We had a family funeral before lockdown but when we were in tier 4, we didn't take the kids but due to timings/distance they did have to get picked up from school by a family friend from their class bubble so we limited connections as much as possible.
We felt it wasn't quite right for the kids (I'm not against kids attending funerals but it was a particularly weird vibe)
We also felt it would be hard for family to not hug the kids and them back
Our kids are 4&12

Attended one in this lockdown and it was different, seats separated, socially distanced, wearing masks except when giving eulogy or Vicar speaking. Obviously a smaller more intimate occasion. Our older teenagers in the family came and sat with family groups but might be tricky for little ones to manage. Might be a strange first funeral to attend, think everyone is coping with their grief and Covid adds an extra layer of complexity as you cannot hug your crying relative etc..

Thanks everyone. I will look at options for the kids when we find out the times. I don't think I will take them.

Thank you.

Sorry for your loss. My mum in laws funeral was in December. Everything was dignified and the staff and celebrant made it a lovely service

It's my dad's on Wednesday and as my brothers MIL had hers in the same place last month unfortunately he was quite aware of how it goes

You are expected to sit in household bubbles with empty rows between and no mixing. Must wear masks etc

I am letting my 10 year old come