AIBU - Mil mixing households

[GorvidAl]

So DP and I have been Mil’s support bubble as she lives alone and doesn’t work. DP has been regularly visiting her and she is due to come round next week for dinner. However, she let slip to him that she has had friends visit her and she has also been out to visit people.

I have said to DP that I’m no longer happy for her to come over or for him to visit her in her house, and while he agrees with me, he doesn’t want to tell her she can’t come. Knowing her as I do, she will be massively offended and lose her shit if she’s disinvited. I feel sorry for her because she’s alone, but I am pissed off that she’s been ignoring the rules and lying to DP about it.

I’m assuming that other people must have had similar situations, but how can we tell her tactfully?

I’m not sure why you have to be tactful? She shouldn’t be breaking the rules. But l get she’s a difficult character but l wouldn’t be dancing round that. I’m sure she does that to avoid being challenged or answerable for her behaviour

She is a very difficult character and I envisage tears and tantrums. It’s not that I want to tiptoe around her, more that I need to be tactful but firm!

You could say “mil needs to self isolate for ten days before coming here, as that’s the rules when you change support bubble”

That way you’re offering a reasonable solution and putting the onus back on her. It’s up to her what she does, any tantrums aren’t your problem. Cruella patel was on the news last night announcing bigger fines, people mixing in houses is still going on and it’s being cracked down on. She can eithher get with the programme or she can tell it to one of her other support bubbles.

This has become an issue again.

Mil let it slip that she’d had people round and visited other friends and family. I lost my shit a bit and told DH that I’m not happy with him going round there. He agrees with me and had told her that if she continues to have people round and visit others, he cannot visit her because of the risk to us not being vaccinated.

I suspect she will continue to do it and lie to him or just not tell him.

Oh give over, so your MIL gets out and about because she lives on her own? So what? Are you clinically vulnerable? MIL sounds like she’s living her life the way she sees fit and you sound as dull as dishwater. If you’re really that concerned, just tell her it’s a no! You don’t want to mix. Simple.

Sweet lord.