Giving up

[istheresomethingwrongwithme]

I'm at my wits end today. Have 3 year old and 2 year old DSs. No one in childcare, I'm a SAHM, not entitled to a childcare bubble or a support bubble. DH works office hours, so is around evenings and weekends.

They have started waking up SO early. It has been 4am the past 4 or 5 days. A lie in would be 5:30. Youngest has just dropped his nap. We've tried Gro Clocks and all sorts, just can't seem to get them to stay in bed longer. They are whirlwinds all day long. Noisy, shouting, screaming, bundling all over the furniture, each other, me. It's like being under attack. I tell them off and they do understand, but within ten minutes they're at it again. I'm exhausted from telling them off as much as I'm exhausted from looking after them.

We love rurally and have loads of outdoor space, so I'm managing to get them out in the fresh air, but it's the same old walking, splashing in puddles etc etc.

I feel physically exhausted today. I'm aching all over and I feel shivery, I just want to collapse into bed. I don't feel depressed, just drained. I'm dreading tomorrow and it's not even the end of today yet.

I don't feel like I get an evening anymore even though they go to bed at 7 because I can't even stay awake long enough to watch one programme. I was really looking forward to watching The Pembrokeshire Murders last night - asleep by 7:30. I don't know why I'm posting this, I'm just feeling really sorry for myself today.

I’m sorry. This is a really difficult time for so many.

What happens at weekends when DH is available to help?

Oh, you have my sympathy.

Do you allow them TV? I'd do a couple of hours of that after lunch for some peace.

Someone needs to patent a hamster wheel - child size, for some running off steam indoors.

You are allowed a childcare bubble, it’s not just for work, it’s for any childcare. You can’t socialise with the adults in it but if you bubble with someone for it they could take your kids for a day to give you a break.

DH mucks in at the weekend, but the kids still seem to default to me. It's like the can smell me and they hunt me down!

Re childcare bubble, the only person I've got is shielding. Not sure if that makes any difference, although as we're not seeing anyone I don't suppose we are a risk.

Very comfortable with the TV and they have plenty of it!

That sounds pretty shit.

Have you got up with them at 4am the past 5 days? If so, tell your DH it’s his turn tomorrow and he’s not to wake or disturb you till 6.30/7am.

DH mucks in at the weekend, but the kids still seem to default to me.

Stop letting this happen. Your DH needs to stop allowing them to default to you - and so do you.

It sounds like you need an hour or two to yourself each day, which is absolutely not unreasonable - and that means your DH needs to step up and be the ‘default’ while you get a chance to decompress, whether that’s taking a bath in peace or cooking a meal without anyone interrupting or talking at you or touching you, or simply going to have a sit down in a dark room without being disturbed for a bit.

He just complains then that he's tired and that he needs to work, concentrate etc.

What @BornIn78 says.

Dh needs to step up, you are running on empty with no respite right now. Can he even take a day off to give you some recovery time? It is rough when they are non napping early risers.
One thing I can recommend, stick them in the bath and let them play for a long time! Seems to cure bad moods in toddlers. And give them choc buttons and a movie and shut your eyes on an afternoon.

DH runs his own business and is really busy at the moment (he's a surveyor and the stamp duty holiday means he's swamped).

He can step up when he has to, but you're right he needs to do more. He's crap at giving me a lie in because 'he needs his sleep' and apparently I 'don't use a lie in properly'. By that he means he'll be asleep right until he has to wake up, whereas I'll sleep until say 8 (which is late when you are usually up at 5!) and then I like a cup of tea in bed before coming down. Not sure what the difference is, it's still time to relax.

He's going to speak to his parents about taking the children for a couple of days a week. MIL is shielding but as we aren't seeing anyone I don't think we are risky.

Jiiii! I could have nearly written this post but with a newborn as well!

You say you have access to outdoors, just go!! Get out of the house! those ages are alright ;) take a snack, a ball, let them run! I don't have the energy to get my 3 out of the house (plus home school eldest, 4yo). It took me an hour last time with baby crying.

Then come home have a small hot chocolate, watch a little bit of tv, sit with them and read some books that they choose and sing some songs. Those nice moments are very important we need them!!!!

DH has weekend? Assign Saturday as his day to rest and Sunday as yours

That sounds really hard work! Just a tip in case you would like one (if you were just venting feel free to ignore). If you make "yes spaces" in your house then there will be less telling off and the atmosphere will be less fraught. So for example, a yes jumping space could be the sofa cushions on the floor, a mini trampoline in the house, a mattress on the floor. So when they jump on the sofa/ bed/ etc you can redirect them to the "yes space", for eg "this bed isnt a jumping spot, the sofa cushions are on the floor downstairs, lets go jump there". But also yes, you need more sleep- if theyre waking up so early would they sleep earlier at night time so you can have an early night too?