Sick of having to justify why I won't meet up

[CC2021]

Family member keeps asking about meeting up and then kicking off when I say no. I'm a frontline healthcare worker, I see patients every work day. I don't want to risk 1) catching the virus off a patient and passing it onto my family or 2) catching it off my family (who see every Tom, Dick and Harry) and passing it onto my patients!

I didn't see my family over christmas as the rules changed to only 1 household meeting. That caused a row. Now I've reiterated I won't be seeing them any time soon and it seems like they're trying to cause a row again. I am so fed up! I'm fed up of these crappy lockdowns and not seeing anyone. I'm fed up of seeing vulnerable people and hearing how they haven't seen anyone apart from us in almost a year (fed up for them not at them obviously). It makes me so sad people are living like this and then my family are kicking off because I won't meet up with them even though they aren't on their own, they have support and I'll see them again soon when we are able to.

You’re being totally and utterly reasonable and unselfish.

You need to state your position very firmly and then leave them to it. If people can’t understand then it’s really their problem! Given your job I would have thought they are really being very foolish and insensitive.

Thank you @Fleetheart. I think it's harder as over the summer we were able to meet and I felt comfortable as it was legal, the cases were lower and I wasn't patient facing at the time. Whereas over the winter obviously the situation has changed. But relative can't understand that circumstances change and being comfortable in one situation doesn't mean being comfortable in another.

You are definitely doing the right thing, unfortunately I don’t think your situation is uncommon, covid has made me view a lot of people in a different light.

You are doing the right thing! My MIL keeps doing the sane thing; asking us to meet, moaning on social media that her family wont see her, crying on the phone to DH. It's only been 2 weeks since we saw her last! (Emergency childcare so I could take my 8 week old to the doc) and we spent Christmas day with her. My DH works in a high risk public facing job in peoples houses. My MIL would be touch and go if she got the virus. My family live in Ireland. I saw them in August. I have no idea when I will see them again. Some people just have no stamina tbh, and think things are so hard for them after a few weeks of not seeing family but it's all just selfishness. We are all missing people but that doesnt mean we are entitled to only think of ourselves. It drives me mad. You stick to your guns. They dont realise it but you are helping in the long run.

I’m sorry OP. It must be really hard to be in your position. You’re doing the right thing, so at least you can take some kind of solace in that.

@CC2021, yes things are very different from the summer. In the area where I live there were about 5 cases a week in the summer.‘recently there have been about 1200 a week! (Going down now thank goodness). So while I felt very happy to see people in the summer I am staying in much more now. And I don’t even work in a frontline role! So you are being very sensible.