Entitled rule breaker

[Springcatkin]

I never really understood the mentality of rule breakers until my brother (VLC for various reasons) just suddenly expected us to let him sleep in our spare room (self contained with own entrance and kitchenette - used for Airbnb in better times) just because he felt he would be at risk when/if his dd goes back to school before he gets vaccinated because he has diabetes 2 and high blood pressure. Not ecv mind you, category 6 for the vaccine.
I told him no because of lockdown and because we are letting student nurses use it but he said 'family should come first before some unknown students' and he 'didnt care about lockdown rules - he was going to do what was best for him and his family'. Yes including driving 100 miles across the country just because you feel a bit unsafe
Cannot believe the self centred entitlement of him tbh. So many people have struggled with much worse not to mention his lifestyle is the reason for his diabetes.

You are well within your rights not to let him stay but i don't think he's being unreasonable either. I'm category six and I'm scared of sending my child to nursery in the spring if I haven't been vaccinated

I don't really understand your mentality at all. He's your brother. Do his concerns just not matter to you? It doesn't even sound like he'll be at risk to anyone, which seems his entire reason for his proposal in the first place.

Everyone SHOULD be doing the best for their family - during normal times, as well as during a global crisis.

It comes across like you just don't really care about him, tbh, and that your reasoning for your heartlessness is "he brought it on himself". I think there's a lot more to the picture here to do with your relationship with him.

@EmergencyHydrangea

You are well within your rights not to let him stay but i don't think he's being unreasonable either. I'm category six and I'm scared of sending my child to nursery in the spring if I haven't been vaccinated

What emergency said

I absolutely appreciate that you dont want to kick the people you have now out of the room

But I don’t think he is being unreasonable in the slightest to be afraid

What's he been doing for the past so many months?

Well you obviously don't like him. So does it really matter if you understand him or not.

Does he think he's still coming? I ask because of the family come first and he's going to do what's best for him comments. Or has he respected your answer?

I think peoples thinking has become very warped and worrying in the past year. Your brother, who has health conditions, has asked for your help because he is worried about getting a potentially deadly virus from a his own child who would be attending a highly contagious environment, and you think he is 'selfish'. Yes. He is. Because people need to be selfish to keep themselves safe. Are you honestly telling me if your brother got the virus from his kid and died because you didnt help him you would be ok with that? Sorry. Family should always come first in these situations, not some rule. My sister lives in London. If she really needed my help I would be in the car ASAP. She is my sister. How could I say to her 'the rule is I cant travel. Sorry. Look after yourself'. Its worrying how sucked into following rules people are now that they would disregard the needs of their own family. Sorry, he isnt being unreasonable.

There's obviously a back story OP, do what you feel is best.

How is this breaking the rules? He's moving house that's allowed.

I get you cant stand him and he sounds cheeky but this isnt breaking the rules. Lots if people have lived elsewhere to protect themselves or loved ones.

Some people, like my ILs and some of my relatives say family comes first because they come first and no other person in the world matters.

In your case OP your brother may be not unreasonable usually, but you’ve said no this time and he’s going to turn up regardless. That is unreasonable. I do understand that now he, and others with health issues, may need support and may be stressed almost to the point of panic. Do you have relatives closer to him who could help?

our brother, who has health conditions, has asked for your help

I didn't see the word ask in the OP. I saw the word 'expected' though