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Original poster

DD wants to meet friend for a walk

32 replies

Hadalifeonce · 18/01/2021 15:21

DD wants to meet her friend for a walk. DD would have to travel 7 miles, friend 17 miles. I have said no way as it's not allowed under lockdown as she is supposed to stay local, she asked if we would drive her, I pointed out if she needs to be driven it's not local! DH has now said he will take her, and if her friend's parents are OK we should be too. I am so not happy with this, but they both think I am not being reasonable.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 18/01/2021 15:25

It’s a tough one, all bar one of DDs friends live too far away to walk to (including her BF). I think the distances you mention are not really within the spirt of the rules but I dropped DD a 10 minute drive away to meet a friend on Sunday (as did his mum) and I collected her later so who am I to judge?

CovidPostingName · 18/01/2021 15:25

Nope, not a chance that would happen in this house unless my child's mental health was so poor he was actually going to have a breakdown of he didn't see said friend. Otherwise, no.

user1487194234 · 18/01/2021 15:26

What age is your child

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/01/2021 15:28

Yes I’d drive my child, with everything children are going through allowing them to walk with a friend is the least they deserve.

redsquirrelfan · 18/01/2021 15:31

I would take her too. I think 7 miles is fine. Not my place to decide if 17 miles is ok for the other child.

lljkk · 18/01/2021 15:33

I would try to facilitate this. Assuming other social contact is very limited and frankly, I thought I could do it in a way that wouldn't get them reported.

I don't think it's against either letter or spirit of 'the rules' but I wouldn't want to have to argue that with police.

redsquirrelfan · 18/01/2021 15:33

@CovidPostingName

Nope, not a chance that would happen in this house unless my child's mental health was so poor he was actually going to have a breakdown of he didn't see said friend. Otherwise, no.
Well the might not at the moment, but if we're still here by May half term...maybe prevention is better than cure! Nobody is going to catch or spread the virus by travelling 7 miles.
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/01/2021 15:34

Isn’t 7 miles the distance Boris Johnson went to have a cycle?!

UglyHoose · 18/01/2021 15:36

I guess if it across, say London for eg, then that might be considered not staying local, but where we are DDs (catchment, so local) school is 8 miles away and her friend, who also attends the school lives 15 miles away from the school, so to us it would be 'local' and yes I would do it.

ServeTheServants · 18/01/2021 15:38

I would absolutely allow my daughter to do this. I think you’re being very unreasonable.

Eyewhisker · 18/01/2021 15:38

YABU - you are allowed to meet one friend and to drive for exercise

Katie517 · 18/01/2021 15:40

I would do it, I really don’t understand the issue with distance within reason, it’s not spreading the virus more if you drive 10 miles vs. 6 and before anyone even starts mentioning about having an accident and putting more strain on the NHS don’t!

OP kids and teenagers have so very little going on in their lives at the moment and it’s not like this has been a short term thing let your daughter go and give her a little joy! Not aimed at you OP but I do think some people think the more misery we can inflict on ourselves the quicker we will combat covid.

Original poster
Hadalifeonce · 18/01/2021 15:43

DD is 18, do not exactly a child, I just feel if this was someone else, I would say this is not the spirit of the rules. I know it's difficult for everyone, me included. I recently had Covid symptoms, felt very unwell, luckily was negative. But could get my head around where I could have got it, or even the lurgy I seem to have. Do perhaps that's clouding my judgement somewhat.

OP posts:
Rockettrain · 18/01/2021 15:44

For me it would depend if she has any other friends who live closer who she could see instead. If the answer is yes, then I would say YANBU and she should be encouraged to meet a closer friend for a walk. But if this is her only/best friend, or all of her friends live a similar distance away, then YABU. She should be allowed to meet up with one person on the odd occasion.

Original poster
Hadalifeonce · 18/01/2021 15:44

Couldn't get my head around

OP posts:
Rockettrain · 18/01/2021 15:45

But also just to say that she is no more likely to catch it driving with your DH for 7 miles in the car to meet a friend, than she is driving for 1 mile in the car to meet a friend. It's not like they will stop at the service station in that distance. The risk comes from meeting the friend, not the driving in the car.

Pleasedontdothat · 18/01/2021 15:46

YAB completely U ...

The only thing that’s keeping my dd relatively ok at the moment is being able to go to the yard to look after her horse and see her friends there. It’s a 10 mile drive (and because it’s for animal welfare is within the rules), they’re outdoors and old enough to be sensible so I wouldn’t dream of saying she couldn’t go. Teenagers and young adults have been asked to give up so much and for many, their mental health is becoming pretty precarious so frankly anything parents can do to boost their mood is essential IMO

Daisysflowers · 18/01/2021 15:49

I think you are being very unreasonable. I would see no problem with dropping my child off for a walk with a friend. So many of the young are really suffering mentally and are feeling very alone.

Original poster
Hadalifeonce · 18/01/2021 15:49

Thank you all, majority say let her go. So DH will take her as I'm still not feeling brilliant.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 18/01/2021 15:54

I think it depends. Is she out walking with local friends regularly? Is she clearly bending every time she can possibly flex? Or is she stick at home with you and her Dad and a computer screen doing everything that's expected of her?

Also are the parents driving there then home then back to them again? If they're stopped, I'm doing to pick my child up might be harder to argue then we're going to X for a walk so if suggest he takes a flask, book whatever if they're only going to be a few hours

Chloemol · 18/01/2021 16:06

Nope, you are correct getting in a car is not local. Why can’t they Skype, zoom, FaceTime or whatever they do

mightbealittlebitmad · 18/01/2021 16:16

Don't see the issue, I drove 7 miles to go for a solo walk today. Hardly anybody around, I managed not to crash my car and need rescuing. Saw more people in the supermarket afterwards.

7 miles isn't far at all, my parents live further than that from a supermarket and my husband does twice that distance just to get to work.

Daisysflowers · 18/01/2021 16:21

@Chloemol getting in a car can be local depending on where you live. My local supermarket is 5 miles away! My siblings local shop is 9 miles.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/01/2021 16:24

@Chloemol

Nope, you are correct getting in a car is not local. Why can’t they Skype, zoom, FaceTime or whatever they do
So you are penalising those with young children or less able bodied? A car is an indication that someone can’t walk, that could be down to distance or it could be other reasons.
ChairinSage · 18/01/2021 16:29

I'm "letting" my teenagers walk with friends since they've got nothing else going on in their lives that isn't inside a screen. If they need a lift to facilitate this, I'll drive them.
They need to interact with their peers away from me and their dad and be silly.

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