Parents abroad. Should I just stop hoping?

[MummaBear4321]

Raab said this morning that quarantine hotels may be set up for people coming in and out, and the curtailments on international travel will be 'beefed up'. I get it. The virus kills. Restrictions are needed. I am not about to get on a plane any time soon. But, my parents live in Ireland. I have a 10 week old and a 2 year old. I am starting to write even this year off for seeing them. We managed to see each other for a few days when things calmed over last summer, but with quarantining for 2 weeks needed my dad used all his holiday for the year just seeing us for those few days, and my mom doesnt have holiday entitlements as she is agency so she just lost 3 weeks pay. They cant afford 2 weeks quarantine every time they want to see their grandkids, not to mention the £600 for two tests each.

I miss them so much it hurts. I cant see any hope. I have nothing to look forward to. My daughters just wont know them. I even get so angry that when my MIL moans and cries because she hasn't seen us in 2 weeks I want to scream at her. I am raging with anger all the time. Facetime is just not good enough. Neither of my DDs really interact with them. They are just like a video on youtube.

Is there any hope? Should I just stop having any thoughts that I will see them this side of my newborns first birthday? Is this just it now?

Not sure what happened there.

I wouldn't lose hope OP. Right now most of Europe is riding an awful 2nd/3rd wave and coupled with winter and the cold weather it seems insurmountable.

I don't think this is it for 2021. I think everything will start reopening again in summer, like it did last year, plus this time round many vulnerable people will have been vaccinated.

The thing is, even without quarantine hotels your parents would still have had to isolate for 2 weeks when coming into the UK. So still need 3 weeks + of holidays.

The UK have had no border restrictions, testing or quarantine monitoring system for the last year, so now they're trying to give the impression that they're doing something.

Most of my family and 90% of my friends live in England and I'm desperate to see them. I've been able to travel for work in a semi-quarantine system my industry has (you get an exemption document but you must stay at an isolated accommodation and go straight to/from work without using public transport or seeing others that are not in your 'work' bubble, according to UK gov guidelines).

Hang in there. It can only get better from now on, and the UK are vaccinating their population extremely quickly.

@IrishMammaMia oh that makes a big difference! We could afford £300 for me, as opposed to £1300 if all 4 of us went. It's a ridiculous amount of money for tests, but anyway.

. That must be tough.

Could your parents do something interactive with your oldest - a treasure hunt, finding a spoon, doll, flower etc. Maybe a little prize at the end.

@MummaBear4321 it is ridiculous, I compared the cost airport testing in Ireland with the UK equivalent and it was almost double the price. You don't have to be tested in Ireland, it's voluntary so you don't have to restrict movement.
However at the moment they are battling the English strain so not advisable t travel until things have settled down. I've been very worried about this in the past but I think it will be fine, with Ireland in any case. With other countries I do worry it's going to be difficult, I hope not.

I usually spend almost half my time in Ireland and it has been a sad year not being able to spend much time with my friends and family. The UK can feel quite far :(

If you travel by boat you don’t need a passport for the baby - birth cert should do it - looks like from the Irish ferries website

Still ok to travel between Ireland and England without a passport if you are Irish or British - but you need Id instead - except Ryanair have that rule that they only accept passports

It is actually children under 6 who are exempt from having to show a negative test on arrival in Ireland OP.

Hopefully the worst is behind us .The Govt are moving heaven and earth ATM, to deliver the Vaccine to as many people as possible right now. The situation will be a lot better by the Summer ,and they hope to have vaccinated everyone by the end of June . I find Facetime /Skype doesnt always work for me ,and prefer to call and speak to my Cousin by old fashioned phone calls ,maybe you could intersperse those ? Sometimes a little note with some small presents (maybe a fridge magnet,some nice chocolates /soaps whatever) just makes you feel a little closer to them by choosing and thinking of them .I would not worry about DC , whenever they do see them next they will love them and start cuddling and so on .Look at it this way you are keeping safe and so are they in preparation for your reunion!

Oh, I feel for you. It's tough, especially with small children. I'm in Europe, not seen my parents or family (all in the uk) for over a year. I do think it will get better in the summer and like you, I am planning a long chunk at home. In the meantime, my heart is breaking and I feel bad for taking my kids away from them.

Some slight consolation is that even if you were in the same country, it might not be possible to see each other. My sister has only seen my parents once in that same period.

But I'm sure you'll see them this year.

www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/ireland/entry-requirements

All the entry requirements are in that link

It’s just you who needs a negative test (you can get it done here before you go)

You only have to isolate at your parents house on arrival

@Heyahun well thats a lot easier than I thought! We could definitely do that. I would probably go over on the ferry so I could drag all my stuff with me for 4 weeks rather than navigate an airport with 2 kids and suitcases on my own, not to mention I can SD easier on a ferry. There is hope!!! Thats made my month. Honestly, I am having a little blub here lol

I saw this today on the projection of the impact of the vaccine.

By April deaths will be 20% of the current numbers and under control.

Things will start to open up then. By summer it will be very much better.

to you OP and all those missing families abroad. I have not seen my parents and family for over a year now and it is really, really tough. My parents are getting older and my worst fear is that they will get ill or worse and that I will not be there. When I hear people moaning about 'selfish holidaymakers' I get annoyed because so many people have families abroad they are desperate to see. As soon as my parents have had their vaccines and it's permitted to go, I'm off.

@SilverGlitterBaubles yes!!! The 'close the airports. Ban flights. Nobody should be going on holiday' infuriates me. It's my only way home. If my Father had a heart attack tomorrow I need airports open so I can get back. Anyone who thinks airports are just for holidays is clearly privileged enough to have family within driving distance.

The last I heard you didn't need a test or quarantine if traveling to NI

I'm really sorry, OP - it sucks. My own parents live in an EU country and I've not seen one of them since summer 2019. We have no idea if there'll be a 'window' to be able to travel over there and see them this summer, but I won't countenance that unless they've had their vaccines, and there's no guarantee that'll happen by summer - one of them will have to come back to the UK somehow (and doesn't want to travel because of the virus) and the vaccine programme in the country they live in most of the time is sluggish and has different priority groups to the UK. I honestly despair of seeing both of them this year, it's so hard. And I have friends who couldn't face Christmas without their parents and skipped out of one high tier into a lower tier to do so for several days (before we were told Christmas bubbles could only be for one day) and act like it's only to be expected - I don't know if I'll see my parents again, ever.