Not single, so no support bubble allowed. Starting to feel overwhelmed

[Parkit]

I'm starting to feel really really lonely in this situation and I don't know what to do 😔

I can't form a support bubble as I am married. My husband works away for the majority of the week working long hours. He's in work today too. I may get to see him tomorrow unless something comes up but he's absolutely knackered at the moment so even when he is home, he spends the majority of it resting. There's nothing he can do about it unfortunately, this situation has made him extremely busy.

Before the pandemic, I spent a huge amount of time seeing my mum, who lives down the road from me. Going on walks, spent a lot of time at her house.

I am also pregnant, basically full term nearly so I can't really walk much anywhere which takes out the meeting for exercise too. I've been WFH since March, now on maternity. I feel like I've been staring at the inside of my house for months now barely seeing another face other than the short time my husband is around for. I feel so alone.

I'm not asking a question I know. Just needed to talk I guess

Once the baby is here, you can have a support bubble, so can you focus on that as light at the end of the tunnel?

Ypu are allowed to form a support bubble if you have a child under 1 so technically you would have to wait til baby arrives but frankly if you need the help then see your mum.

Providing you are both following rules etc if you go out then the risk is minimal and give it a couple of weeks and will be perfectly fine anyway.

that sounds really hard. I know its not immediate help but when your baby is born you'll be able to form an 'under 1 support bubble'. For us it has really made the difference between this lockdown being intolerable and somewhat manageable. I feel very appreciative of it.

Does your mum live alone? If so, you can be her support bubble.

If not, you can still see each other outside, you don't have to walk miles - there was another pregnant lady on here saying she couldn't walk far and the concensus was no sensible police officer would dare say anything to a pregnant lady about not walking enough!

That said, when I was pregnant I was told by a lifeguard that I would get splashed if I didn't swim faster (I wanted to swim in a different lane away from splashy men). But he was probably about 17 and stupid. I'd expect a bit better of the police.

@MaverickDanger

Once the baby is here, you can have a support bubble, so can you focus on that as light at the end of the tunnel?

Yes I have been trying to focus on this. It just seems like it could potentially be a while yet though. I am 37 weeks so technically considered full term but I keep thinking if I go over by a week or two that's another month like this

My mum has suggested we meet just to manage what I can in terms of walking but I get anxious as I know I'll have to keep stopping, won't be able to go far and it's probably not what is considered exercise for most people, definitely not for my mum.

@puffinkoala

Does your mum live alone? If so, you can be her support bubble.

If not, you can still see each other outside, you don't have to walk miles - there was another pregnant lady on here saying she couldn't walk far and the concensus was no sensible police officer would dare say anything to a pregnant lady about not walking enough!

That said, when I was pregnant I was told by a lifeguard that I would get splashed if I didn't swim faster (I wanted to swim in a different lane away from splashy men). But he was probably about 17 and stupid. I'd expect a bit better of the police.

No, unfortunately she's married so I can't form a bubble with her.

Your mum is offering, so just do it. At almost full term, exercise has to be pretty limited depending on what you can cope with. You'll be able to see and talk with her at least.

Personally, I wouldn't bat am eyelid if you formed your support bubble early...

Well, not unfortunately obviously... I'm glad she's married, I love her husband! Ha.

Personally, I wouldn't bat am eyelid if you formed your support bubble early...

Being honest, I have considered this in times when I've just felt so lonely. And I know my mum would let me too.

I'm just scared of getting caught. I've seen so much vitriol toward people who are seen as bending rules.

((((hug))))

If it was just 'rulz' I'd say that unless your mum is vulnerable, go & see her. You're virtually single & you're at home.

Is your mum single?

Is she at home too?
When is she likely to get the vaccine?

However, with the rates being so high and this variant more transmissible & sticky the last person I'd want to risk passing it to would be my mum.

Once the baby is here you can fit a bubble, BUT it won't make your mum and safer.

I'm sorry you feel so lonely. Can DH talk much when he's at work? Can you not get enough contact chatting to friends etc?

I live alone. I can't (won't) see my 'DP' because he works in a high contact job & his DC live between him & their mum -all who have lots of contact with people. I have underlying issues, so we have only seen
each other a few times this past 11 months. We talk every day, a few times a day for ages and I have a close friend and we WhatsApp a lot. Other than that I'm happy at Home, on my own. I do miss his hugs though!!

You & your Mum just need to weigh up the risks and benefits and decide what's best for you. Also bearing in mind that you wouldn't want to have Covid while giving birth or to pass it onto hospital staff.

💐

There is obviously the fact of not wanting to pass anything to mum either.

Statistically speaking, she is young (40s, she had me young) and she and her husband have been working from home throughout so the risk isn't massive compared to others but yes obviously I don't want to make her ill.

I'll be honest and say, providing she is okay with it obviously, I won't have the willpower not to form a bubble with her when I can when the baby is here and DH is back at work.

If she’s really close (you say down the road) just go round the block with her every day. Even 10 minutes getting outside and chatting to someone daily will make a big difference. Doesn’t have to be a massive walk.

If she is in her 40s and fit and well she is relatively low risk - I’d just go for it now.

@MotherOfGremlins

Your mum is offering, so just do it. At almost full term, exercise has to be pretty limited depending on what you can cope with. You'll be able to see and talk with her at least.

Personally, I wouldn't bat am eyelid if you formed your support bubble early...

I agree.

It's one person, your DH is away and you could go into labour anytime...

You're so close to full term, I'd just go and see her. You could be legitimately allowed to form a childcare bubble any day now. We should all be following the rules but i can't see how anyone would criticise you for this.

Go for a walk with your mum. Do what you can, don’t worry if you need to stop for a break. Once your baby is here you can form a support bubble. Not long to go!

Go for a walk with your mum, that would still be exercise in your circumstances

Bubbles to care for someone is allowed and I'd say you need her to come round and look after you as you're heavily pregnant with limited mobility.
If you're worried about neighbours, could you have her bring round some food shopping ?

Walking with your mum is well within the rules. It is exercising with one other person. Exercise doesn't have to be a 6 mile run and at 37 weeks it is essential you keep moving and get some light exercise. I am also heavily pregnant with awful hip pain and I can walk maybe a mile, rest on a bench, walk back again. Your not breaking the rules at all doing this.

Personally, I wouldn't bat am eyelid if you formed your support bubble early...

I agree.

It sounds like it would help you a lot to meet with your mum and even a short daily walk at a sedate pace will help you to prepare for birth.

You could always wear a mask if you want to take extra precautions.

Good luck for the weeks ahead