Going to see someone who has been vaccinated?

[Sunplanetearth8]

My MIL has been vaccinated and is asking if we can come over (we live in the same area, no travel to get there - I am aware we’re in lockdown though!). I didn’t think we could, because I thought a vaccinated person could still be a carrier and spread it?

She’s lonely though. And I don’t feel right saying no.

What’s appropriate?

Neither can she change bubbles from her friend to someone else

I'm not sure this is strictly true, I think you can, but have to leave 10 days between.

She definitely can’t get back to normal, it’s not known about transmission with the vaccine and we are all in lockdown. You can’t just break the rules to see your family. She has a support bubble, she’s not in her own. If she doesn’t like her support bubble she can change it. Everyone’s struggling, everyone’s finding this hard. She’s in a much better position than a lot of people!

You’re all right, of course, I won’t go round. It’s so hard watching someone you love struggling and asking you to come over

She can still transmit the virus even though she's unlikely to be ill with it, you could unknowingly pass it on to her asymptomatically and she could in turn then pass it on to her support bubble.
If she's lonely you need to bring that up with whoever she is bubbled with to make sure they see her more

@Sunplanetearth8 can you mention it to the household that she's bubbled with? Maybe they could visit more often?

Sounds like she has contact with people though? She has another adult as a bubble, and you can meet her for a walk. That’s two adults that she can see every day, right there. If she was hundreds of miles away and totally alone I’d have more sympathy.

You could still walk outside , one to one.

It’s so hard watching someone you love struggling and asking you to come over sad

It is. There’s a lot of them... my in-laws are massively struggling too. MIL keeps begging us to go over, she has been for half a year now. She cries on the phone to DH at least once a week... I do sympathise

But it’s not worth it and you can’t meet her yet. We’re encouraging her to do safe things, and to distract herself. She’s quite enjoyed Pilates on the iPad! And some magazine subscriptions this week. And we’re trying to nicely point out that while they are lucky enough to have vaccine appointments, it doesn’t mean they can’t get sick - just reduces the risk - and it definitely doesn’t mean they can’t spread it, it looks a lot like vaccinated people can and will spread it from their mucous membranes. It seems to help her to remember that sometimes, as she wouldn’t want to make DH ill.

I do feel for you though. A lot of people seemed to think they’d get more freedom once they were vaccinated and I just can’t see how that will work.

Her health anxiety was quite strong back in March / April / May. I think if I mention the risks to her loved ones, that would put her off.

Good idea about chatting to her bubble about seeing her more. My DH will do so subtly.

I might suggest more activities we can do - family chats on zoom etc.

I think she had this goalpost in her mind “once I get the vaccine, I won’t have to do feel so isolated anymore” - but she needs to shift it a little, sadly.

The fact that she and her peer group (she’s 80) have had their vaccines already gives us all hope! That and my local friends who are doctors etc. Feels closer 🤞

Nope. There is nothing in the rules that states that those who've been vaccinated are exempt from them.

Complacency at this point could be very dangerous.

Yes, she's been vaccinated, but it's not a guarantee that she will have taken up immunity as it's not 100% effective.

We need to wait until many, many more people have had the vaccine before we even think about 'normal', and going into private property with other households will be one of the last things to come back, I fear.