Ideas on how to support children during lockdown

[pinkpip100]

It occurred to me whilst reading another thread that many parents are (understandably) really concerned about the impact of lockdown and school closures on their children. My view is that schools should not open to all until community transmission is much lower and the burden on the NHS has eased to a more sustainable level, plus obviously the vaccination programme has reached as many vulnerable people as possible. Even then, I think we will need measures in place to make schools safer. BUT that doesn't mean I'm not worried about the impact on my children of being out of school and unable to socialise. I wondered if it would be helpful to have a thread to discuss these worries and see if others have any suggestions of how best to support our children through this period?

For example... I have 4 dc aged 15, 14, 11 & 7. DH and I are both WFH. Youngest dd has down syndrome, is CEV, and takes up the majority of my time during the day (so I work evenings & weekends to catch up). 11 year old dd seems to be coping well with everything, misses her friends but keeps in touch via WhatsApp etc. She's prone to anxiety so I've tried to keep talk about Covid (and my worried about her sister's vulnerabilities) as low key as possible. My biggest concern is the teenagers; DS1 is in his GCSE year, seems to have lost motivation to study, is naturally quite introverted and becoming more so each week. DS2 is in year 9, hates working at home so does the bare minimum (but hopefully has enough time to catch up) - but is really sociable and misses hanging out with his friends so much. His behaviour isn't great as a result (although to be fair he has always been a boundary-pusher!). I do worry about his mental health as he seems the most volatile at the moment. I'm trying not to be too hard on him but feel like I am constantly having to nag him to join his live lessons, do homework, not spend every moment on a screen, go to bed before midnight, get up in the morning etc etc. Just a constant battle.

I'm really short on ideas. Have one teenager who is totally isolated, just doing school and then netflix all evening. Not interested in walking in the rain and no local friends. They have no social contact at all and even school work isn't really sinking in. Any ideas on how to expand the world a bit?

Hoping someone else posts with ideas - sounds pretty similar to ds1. He doesn't seem massively unhappy but I am worried about the lack of social contact...

Good idea for a thread

I have a 12 yo who is fed up with home schooling, although his school & their provision are really good.

DS and I try to go out every day, walking or cycling. When it's raining we do the gym sessions set by the school, to music on the sitting room floor and we have a Zoom karate class that needs some practice.

The school has resumed food tech so ds has to cook once a week, and have set a nature photography competition for art, which breaks up the endless Teams sessions.

I've started a regular meet with another single mum. Her son and mine cycle together around the lanes, and we cycle together abut 50 metres behind them.
Then calls with other family. Weekly trips onto the Waterstones web site. And holiday planning - ds & I are each planning a holiday on paper (much research going on - lots of detail) to hopefully take together when this is all over.

Watching for inspiration!

Oh, and on-line chess with his dad. Not my thing at all, but they like it.

Thank you for this thread, I'd love some ideas too. I have a 7 year old (y3) and 5 year old (reception). The 7 year old really struggles with missing friends and school, as she did in the previous lockdown. She has two school zoom lessons each day and she enjoys video calling her best friend but she says she really misses playing face to face with her friends and she can be irritable and withdrawn (completely unlike her in "normal" times). Online socialising is limited at this stage because friendships are so rooted in physical play. My younger child is shy and enjoys being at home but has energy left to burn each day. I would be really grateful for any tips people have around mental health and physical exercise for young children.

@Mintjulia it sounds like you and your ds have some great ideas for keeping connected - I love the holiday planning!
@IncidentsandAccidents it is really hard with younger ones as 'online' social life is pretty limited and unnatural for them.

My 14 year old is currently refusing to take part in his lesson, he's logged in but not engaging (or even listening). I've tried intervening but he's just yelled at me and told me how much he hates learning at home. At least it's Friday so he'll get a couple of days respite from it. We're only on week 2 though so I'm not sure how he'll cope longer term.

We've really upped the evenings as family time, so Australian Survivor marathon, Downton Abbey and Fringe have been good for Early Teens.

Exercise has been really problematic, walks is about the limit of it and I'm having to spice it up with "how far can you lean over the duck pond before falling in game" - not my finest parenting but the pond is shallow, and falling in cold and embarrassing.

That and takeaways, we are really lucky to have loads of decent exotic choices so authentic Lebanese, Spanish, Italian, carribean and Japanese are all within 10 mins (don't live in London, but a good large town). We all try different stuff - last night's Moshi went down a treat!

More grown up board games at the weekend have worked too. So dungeons and dragons and cards against humanity family edition.

They're alone all day schooling, so we have hug breaks instead of tea breaks. Kids respect when we are in a call, and whenever they need anything while I'm working - I stop and sort them as a priority.

Less tears, but we are day 7 home learning, it's a marathon not a sprint!

@Timeforabiscuit we really struggle with exercise too - youngest dd can't walk very far, older dc claim they 'hate' walks anyway. In lockdown 1 I managed to drag them out more often but now they just refuse. I don't think ds(14) has left the house once in the past week.

Sounds like you are doing a great job of creating quality family time amidst it all though.

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Yep @BogRollBOGOF that's pretty much it in our house...

Online Pictionary with friends while also zooming them has helped here (9yo needs help setting up, 12yo can do it herself). Online chess or scrabble with whichever grandparent is up for it. Family time in the evenings watching something we all like, staying up later than normal.

None of it is really enough, but it’s better than nothing.

I'm trying to sign my daughter up to different things are still sort of educational but also different a feel like a bit more of a treat. I can't be doing with trying to force her to do stuff she hates at home. We're doing a kids dance class online today, and children's first aid class at the weekend and have found lots of local companies offering different things for children to do. I'm telling myself that education is more than just sitting with a worksheet but it really is isn't it.

DS is 11 (year 7), he does a WhatsApp video call 9-3 everyday with the 3 friends he sits next to in school, they have the same timetable. Its been brilliant, they help eachother when they're stuck and chat and mess about in their rooms during break. He knows to turn the sound/video off if he needs to concentrate.

@Chevron383 what a brilliant idea for older children. It must make it feel a lot less isolating to experience their learning together and to have messing around time too!

If it is screens, play with them on it, and argue and act (or more often be!) clueless - asking Dd to show me how to do something has had some really nice moments.

We also have a family guild going on for Harry potter puzzles and spells (no private messaging and younger players can milk early level trophies and then quit and restart when it gets tougher). As the kids are guild leaders, seeing how they manage difficult players has been brilliant, eldest is going to be a fantastic people manager!

@chevron that's great. Dd(11) has chats with her class friends via WhatsApp throughout the day and this definitely seems to help her.
Video chats aren't really an option though as 4 of us share one space - so would be too noisy/distracting for everyone else...
I will suggest it to ds15 though as he works in his bedroom so could potentially video call.

My DS is having a zoom party with his school friends tomorrow. Its not the same but something for him to look forward to

@pinkpip100 14 yo Ds here too, Y9. He’ll do just enough to get by. Thinks getting up for 10 minutes before the start of lessons is ok, doesn’t want to get dressed.

I think the lessons he’s engaging less in are the science lessons.

It’s so hard.

I'm most worried about socialisation. More so for my youngest. I've been lucky enough to be able to sit and do his school work with him and have been amazed at the progress he's making with his maths and reading. I know this time is meant to be more of an actual school education this time round but we're only doing things in short bursts with lots of breaks and I can really see the benefit.

@EmmaWithTheGreatHair that sounds exactly like my ds2, late nights, late mornings and if I don't check constantly he is watching stuff on his phone during most lessons...

@Popcornriver that's great that he's making so much progress - but yes, the social side of things is really tricky for younger ones too.