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Original poster

Increased restrictions - single people

31 replies

Nunoftheother · 12/01/2021 22:21

I'm concerned about what I've been reading that the current restrictions might be tightened even more so that even outdoor exercise with one other person would be forbidden.

I'm not intending to start a debate as to whether or not that should happen, but as a single person who lives on their own (and I mean actually alone, not "alone" with children) it would mean I would literally see no-one apart from when I go to the supermarket and possibly GP's, etc.

I suppose I'm just wondering how other people in a similar situation are feeling about it.

For various reasons (no family living close, friends with elderly parents, fairly recent break-up) I don't have a support bubble so as it is I'm only seeing people about once a week. I'm ok at the moment, but the thought of no social contact until the spring is pretty scary.

OP posts:
Garby · 12/01/2021 22:29

Hello, I’m so sorry this is stressing you out. I am in the same position, living alone. I do have a support bubble but they are 30 miles away and as I am CEV we have decided that we’ll put a pause on seeing each other until things improve so I’ve currently got no plans to see anyone until after I’ve had the second dose of vaccination, which is likely May.

I find the best way to deal with things is just on a day to day basis and not look to far forward. I’ve got myself into a nice little routine of daily exercise, mostly indoors, watching things I like on the box and getting my work done and I just let the days tick by.

I just keep reminding myself that with each day that passes we get closer to this ending, whenever that may be.

AcornAutumn · 12/01/2021 22:31

I think it would be extremely unfair and yes, scary as hell

That said, I don't have anyone local to walk with, so mostly walk alone.

I am carer for my mother but I don't consider that social contact. So
I haven't seen any friends or sister since London entered Tier 3 in mid December I think.

It is quite grim but in reality I think if I am denied social contact by law, I will have to use the mental health grounds. That is solid in writing for me as I have been under GP care for 15 years and nearly offed myself in the first lockdown. The problem I had/have is that my friends wouldn't meet. But after that close shave, I suspect they will now.

My sister always would have, I just was in such a dark place, I couldn't see.

Sorry, that might not have been helpful.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/01/2021 22:35

Hancock didn't sound like he was intending to do anything massive yet

Who do you currently meet with for exercise? Is it different people or a specific friend?

AcornAutumn · 12/01/2021 22:48

If you don't mind me asking OP, who do you see once a week? Once a week socialising sounds good but I'm not sure if you mean people in the shops.

Treqaf · 12/01/2021 23:33

Hi OP. Me and another three single friends were talking about this today. None of us will comply if it comes to that, as we all live alone. We all are very strict with bubbles and distancing and working at home etc but a line has to be drawn and those that say just get on with it are as you say either ‘alone’ but with children or ‘alone’ and living very near family. It would be absurd to enforce such isolation on anyone and I think you’ll find few people who live alone who will actually go along with it.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 12/01/2021 23:38

I don't think they'll do that. It looks a bit like it's on the turn for cases in the worst hit areas. It might be you need to be further apart but outdoors has to be the safest way of contact for so many single people.

Original poster
Nunoftheother · 12/01/2021 23:49

@AcornAutumn

If you don't mind me asking OP, who do you see once a week? Once a week socialising sounds good but I'm not sure if you mean people in the shops.
No, I meant going for a walk with a friend. There are a few I have done this with, but I don't know that many people within walking distance.
OP posts:
Chloemol · 13/01/2021 00:12

Why can’t you firm a support bubble with one of the friends you walk with!

TibetanTerrier · 13/01/2021 00:13

I've been totally alone with my dog since 12th March. Only seen the back of the delivery man's head as everything comes "contactless delivery". I'm fine and can keep this up as long as I need to.

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 00:32

I see

If going for a walk with a friend is banned, then support bubbles would also be banned, is that your thinking?

I hope they are not going in that direction.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/01/2021 00:43

IF and I really don't think it'll happen but if it does, is there any of them you can form a support bubble with?

Original poster
Nunoftheother · 13/01/2021 04:52

@AcornAutumn

I see

If going for a walk with a friend is banned, then support bubbles would also be banned, is that your thinking?

I hope they are not going in that direction.

Yes, that's what I'd expect.
OP posts:
Original poster
Nunoftheother · 13/01/2021 04:53

@Chloemol

Why can’t you firm a support bubble with one of the friends you walk with!
Because it doesn't work with their particular circumstances.
OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 13/01/2021 09:49

@AcornAutumn

I see

If going for a walk with a friend is banned, then support bubbles would also be banned, is that your thinking?

I hope they are not going in that direction.

Matt Hancock was adamant bubbles wouldn't be removed, whatever comfort your faith in him can give
Mousehole10 · 13/01/2021 10:19

Sorry, But I think meeting friends outside needs to go, at least for a few weeks. We are in a bad situation and we need to get on top of it properly whilst the vaccine roll out gets going. Support bubbles were set up so that people living alone aren’t isolated. The meeting friends outside was not brought in for this reason. Isn’t there anyone at all you can bubble with?

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 10:24

Sleeping I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I could slit my throat in front of him and he'd consider it a not sadly died.

OP if you want hope - I hate hope, I prefer realism, something I learned after trying to top myself - they have no logic. So they might scrap the outdoor bubbles but keep the indoor ones, so to speak.

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 10:26

@Mousehole10

Sorry, But I think meeting friends outside needs to go, at least for a few weeks. We are in a bad situation and we need to get on top of it properly whilst the vaccine roll out gets going. Support bubbles were set up so that people living alone aren’t isolated. The meeting friends outside was not brought in for this reason. Isn’t there anyone at all you can bubble with?
Meeting friends outside was brought in because they realised they couldn't stop people chatting to each other outside, you might as well chat with someone you know. Though I did befriend a lovely new mum who was also very low, it helped us both.
SleepingStandingUp · 13/01/2021 10:45

Meeting a friend outside causes less damage than meeting your bubble inside, would be hard to police and screws over people like my friend and op.
My friend has no kids, no partner, only child are parents are dead. Everyone she's bubble with is a friend. Except they have their parent(s) or grown child(ren) they bubble with so she'd be back to being totally alone. I can't bubble with her, we have Mil but I can meet her for exercise which at her age and my fitness is a walk.

ScribblingPixie · 13/01/2021 10:49

From everything I've read I think there is no way they would take away support bubbles or clamp down on exercise in a draconian way. Whatever this gov's failings it's clear they're well aware of the importance of our mental & physical health & prioritising it.

Original poster
Nunoftheother · 13/01/2021 17:02

Isn’t there anyone at all you can bubble with?

I don't think you can really ask people unless they're family, a partner, single themselves (so you're on an equal footing) or you're very close friends. It would be so awkward to put someone on the spot (and I'd hate to be rejected) and there could be all sorts of practical or emotional reasons why they don't want to form a support bubble.

The people I have been for walks with are good friends, but not super close and they haven't offered. Family members are too far away.

It makes me feel a bit shit that no-one has suggested forming a support bubble (in addition to having no partner and being childless), but there's not much I can do about it - I can't conjure someone up out of thin air.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nunoftheother · 13/01/2021 17:05

@SleepingStandingUp

Meeting a friend outside causes less damage than meeting your bubble inside, would be hard to police and screws over people like my friend and op. My friend has no kids, no partner, only child are parents are dead. Everyone she's bubble with is a friend. Except they have their parent(s) or grown child(ren) they bubble with so she'd be back to being totally alone. I can't bubble with her, we have Mil but I can meet her for exercise which at her age and my fitness is a walk.
Yes, I imagine this is a fairly common problem. There's a difference between being good friends and being someone's number one priority (which for most people is a partner or family member).
OP posts:
thereisonlyoneofme · 13/01/2021 17:13

Im in the same boat OP, no family at all. I meet up with different dog walkers in the mornings and we set the world to rights, thats the only contact I have apart from going into shops. Im supposed to be shielding again but I would go mad.

Billie18 · 13/01/2021 17:20

Hopefully the restrictions will not be tightened but I can understand your concern. I think it's very unfair and dangerous to isolate people completely from social contact but will answer your question in practical terms. You didn't mention work as that would be a way of having some social contact so presume you either are working from home or don't work. Would you consider some voluntary work because that s allowed face to face? You could choose something that interests you and even if its just a few hours every week it might be both fun and rewarding?

Ultimatecougar · 13/01/2021 17:41

I understand. Generally my single friends are bubbled with family members so they can't bubble with me. I am lucky enough to be able to go out to work though, as my work can't be done at home.

ScribblingPixie · 14/01/2021 11:51

There's an article in The Times this morning that said that although Matt Hancock pressed for joint exercise to be banned, Boris has overruled him. "“He said it was a lifeline for many, particularly those living alone,” a government insider said.

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