If Parents were in charge of children’s welfare post pandemic

[WonderingFree]

I can’t sleep so thinking about how Post pandemic it would be fantastic for parents to be in charge of children and young people’s well-being and recovery. We know how it’s impacting our children. Of course we would have access to the magic money tree that we thought didn’t exist but actually does.

My decrees would be:

A radical overhaul of the school dinners system. All meals would be high nutrition, free to all kids throughout their education (ie up to 18) all processed food, vending machines in schools/colleges would be banned. Food would be mega high quality with fresh fruit Smoothies for morning snack, delicious and nutritious lunches and access to vitamin supplements in winter.

Fantastic after school activity focussed on PE for physical well-being and recognising our kids have been cooped up for soooooooo long; arts and creativity for emotional and mental well-being and loads of team activities.

Free weekend access to local amenities like cinema, youth theatres and swimming; plus free annual passes to nearest family attraction.

High streets rejuvenated by converting use of empty shops as children and young peoples spaces, offering alternatives to shopping like gaming, coding, music production and other such fab events that kids would like.

Overhaul of parks to increase provision for play areas for children, outdoor gyms and nighttime teenage safe zones in parks.

Over to you...

At the end of the 2nd WW the introduction of the NHS was met with the same questions of ‘how are we going to afford this’. Universal and free health care for all - but actually it was a fantastic investment both on a social and economic level.

Given the shock of this terrible health crisis I can’t help but think that we need to find radical solutions to support, nurture and grow our children physically, emotionally and mentally. That isn’t about how much it’s going to cost but more about how can we afford not To. And yes, absolutely I am an idealistic and yes smoothies are really MC and high in sugar - admitted.

I worry about what kids DO have in front of them. A life of state and personal debt mountain, recessions, Brexit fallout, high mortgages, over sized classrooms and worse a sense that the state doesn’t give a FF about them.

Ah well, back to my blue sky and hope that someone in charge is thinking outside the usual.

These are lovely ideas and I agree with the vending machines in schools (make them healthy or boot them out) and better PE but I would say this whole crisis has highlighted an over reliance from a lot of people on school and state to provide what they should be providing.

To help nurture children we need to go a lot deeper than free days out!

Ah well, back to my blue sky and hope that someone in charge is thinking outside the usual.

No one in power is though, and folk keep voting in a Tory government with no care whatsoever for families living in poverty. There are root and branch, deeply embedded systemic issues to be tackled to lift families out of the mess we’re in. Actual decent funding for health, social work and education, a trauma informed approach to these professionals work, a fundamental shift in how we understand the causes of poverty and adversity. Nice days out and a smoothie won’t cut it and we as a society don’t want to pay for what would actually work. Much more interested in lining the pockets of government cronies.

I am also surprised by the negative responses on here. I think it’s a cultural attitude of ‘children should be seen not heard’ and maybe best to ship them off to a boarding school if you can afford it. What I would love is an overhaul of education system with smaller classes and high quality education available to all, not just the ones who can pay for it. Start funding the arts again and give all children enrichment opportunities which don’t cost an arm and a leg. Learning to play an instrument or dancing classes are completely unaffordable to many. Lots more scouts/forest school type activities after school. Even out the class divide and give all children a fair start.

OP we are about to be plunged into another double dip recession.

Perhaps incorporate some community work in their curriculum, clearing parks, creating footpaths, making entrances to public buildings accessible to all. To connect them to their local society and the different needs others may have.

Have a "youth" channel, or just some dedicated time of TV with reporters etc. Have a day in parliament when representatives bring youth issues direct to MPs.

Basically get them to engage but with their voices, actions heard.

And not just pampered middle class babies, all children from all areas, all classes and family make-ups.

And on the flip side, make them work, see what it takes to deliver a letter or empty a bin or get a loaf on the shelves.

Oh there is so much. But to re-establish a pride in doing a good job whether you are a postie, vet or plumber.

Hilarious! What this pandemic has shown is how so many parents are completely unwilling to take responsibility for their children’s wellbeing. The fact that so many are desperate to send them into schools and hand over all responsibility has been a big takeaway for me. In addition it appears that parenting in this country is so shite in many cases that they managed to make their own children’s development go into reverse when they actually had to do some parenting exemplified by the children who were unable to use a knife and fork post lockdown one. The fact that your first few examples about what should happen are in fact a wish list for what other people should do for your children rather than things for parents to actually do themselves pretty much sums up the issue! In short no!

I don't think you can blame parents for not being teachers - if you think they are failing on that front, you don't know what goes into teaching and learning from both the student and the teacher, it is a specific, complex relationship. Add to that the fact that parents are doing another full time job on top of parenting AND being a teacher. And many parents had such crap time at school, they do not have the confidence or resources to start home educating. The state should support the development of its young people, and parents can't do it all in the complex , high stakes educational environment that we have now. most parents want the best for their children, I think the O P meant 'wouldn't it be nice if children's services had children's holistic well being at their heart.' I don't think you need to loose sleep over an over funded, enriching , all-encompassing provision for young people arriving any time soon.

Many children are lucky to be afforded these opportunities.

I think that your ideas are great and should be used for families but where need exists.

For example all children registered as disabled to get x number of free swimming sessions a month.

Families who are in poverty get activities for their children. Plenty of children living below the breadline could have talents. A few free tickets to cinema or a theme park.

I think it's not much opportunity but equality of opportunity. Something we really need to look at after this.

@schimmelreiter

I don't think you can blame parents for not being teachers - if you think they are failing on that front, you don't know what goes into teaching and learning from both the student and the teacher, it is a specific, complex relationship. Add to that the fact that parents are doing another full time job on top of parenting AND being a teacher. And many parents had such crap time at school, they do not have the confidence or resources to start home educating. The state should support the development of its young people, and parents can't do it all in the complex , high stakes educational environment that we have now. most parents want the best for their children, I think the O P meant 'wouldn't it be nice if children's services had children's holistic well being at their heart.' I don't think you need to loose sleep over an over funded, enriching , all-encompassing provision for young people arriving any time soon.

If this was in response to me, none of what I said was in reference to parents ‘home schooling’. It was more about the basics of parenting. I wouldn’t expect parents to be able to deliver an effective academic education as a general rule, though obvious there are exceptions. On the other hand the OP seems to want teachers and schools to sort out things that should be the responsibility of parents

Sounds great. How we going to pay for it? I've got some ideas. But none of them will be popular here.

I'd like to see less pressure and emphasis on degrees at University.
Not all youngsters are academic and they should have other avenues more easily accessible.
Apprenticeships in finance, I. T, mechanics, tattooing and many other areas are all possible.
Also they're crying out for fishing boat crew in Cornwall for example. Just offer kids other avenues. Because there shouldn't be such a fixation on uni. Not everyone can get into uni. Some who are in uni will never get a so called graduate job.

Naive. You’ve just suggested a very middle class wish list. Lots of people wouldn’t take these opportunities. It’s no use offering healthy lunches if the children don’t want to eat them and buy chips on the way home. In lots of places the nearest food shops are takeaways selling cheap, filling, fast food. It’s unhealthy but it’s not as simple as offering some hummus and salad instead. Many people don’t own a cooker or even a hob - just a microwave. They can’t cook - and may have generations of not being able to cook, they may never have eaten home cooked from scratch food - it’s a luxury! (it shouldn’t be) - people like what they know. Do you really think that the same parents who have allowed their kids to forget how to use cutlery are going to spend the weekend taking them to a youth theatre group? Get real! It would be full of middle class people! The problems in our society are far, far deeper and more entrenched than can be solved with gimmicky ideas like this.
Parents ARE in charge of their children’s welfare already, and some don’t even care. I’d suggest parenting classes and intensive literacy numeracy support at a young age for selected children, with the parent /s going into school weekly for help in how to help their kids (ie adult numeracy / literacy). Trying to get the parents to feel that they are on the same side as the school rather than viewing the school as a something to fight with. A careers program that actually prepared kids for work - how to dress for interview, basic manners, how to talk clearly, how to introduce yourself, the importance of a sensible haircut, training for realistic jobs, much, much more vocational training.

@lemonsandlimes123 I agree that individuals need to take responsibility for themselves, and if they are parents that includes parenting. I do think it takes more than the parents to raise a child, though. A collaboration between state, parents, wider community - so we all need to take some responsibility. I would like to see more actual concern for individuals, I know really good, responsible mothers who nearly went under in the first lockdown, I think kids have quite a miserable deal a lot of the time (lack of attention, pressure combined with indulgence, not a lot positive in the world) When I am less able to fend for myself I hope people look at me and see a whole person, who needs help in a variety of ways, including fun and social contact. I would like to be able to extend that to children who essentially depend on people like me now. (Especially as they will be deciding on the care I get in old age!) Children with awful parents need help, and parents who are struggling need help - but as I said, I do think an individual needs to take as much of an active role as they can in their own life, it is part of seeing them as fundamentally a whole, capable person. I also think it was a massive shock to a lot of people to realise what a lot school contributes to their lives - maybe hence the horror when the state withdrew that support, hopefully it will be more appreciated in the future!

I'd be fine with it so long as these hypothetical parents were happy to demonstrate to their children that these things are paid for by paying lots of tax.

Yes, I think you have to buy into the idea of contributing as well as receiving. I would really like to visit a Scandinavian country warts and all to see how they function. I grew up in a wealthy city in a foreign country where, in my childish perception, I was taken care of by the municipality, albeit through their perception of what was needed. I don't think people in Britain have that level of trust in their councils. And maybe therefore don't trust how public money is spent and are unwilling to hand over more?

I think this is incredibly naive tbh. I don't think a smoothie and a day trip is going to do anything, and its not really what most children need. You are essentially saying the government should pay to raise all children to your middle class fantasy.

I agree smaller class sizes, investment in schools infrastructure and maybe a more diverse curriculum. Giving children better tools to make their way through life. A living wage would massively help children and secure, safe housing for all. Better social care, and help to parents who are struggling. But feeding children an idealistic nutritious meal and giving them free zoo tickets isn't going to do anything, most parents can so these things off their own accord and those that can't need a bit more than a free zoo ticket

Also parents are in charge of their children's welfare. Even at a national level the majority of the government will be made up of parents.

It’s no use offering healthy lunches if the children don’t want to eat them and buy chips on the way home

It's a (very predictable) list of things that parents think will be good for young people without actually investing in considering what young people might want in order to recover and move forwards. I suspect that some young people might be interested but many would not be - and who could blame them?

There is a far too high percentage of children living in poverty in the UK.
Children living in bedrooms black with mould; nothing more than a mattress on the floor; food is a pasty and that’s when they get a meal.
Children are utilised as ‘young caters’ for disabled parents...and are expected to contribute to the support of younger siblings. Often at the expense of even attending school.

My mother in law had too many children. She did not have a job. She had child after child after child, until there were 6. She could not afford to feed her children or clothe them. When I met my husband we were 15. I was brought up with my own horses, on our own land and an indoor swimming pool. I had my own car at the age of 12 and I never wanted for anything.

By contrast my husband was living on a jam sandwich and a chocolate bar per day. He had 1 item of clothing in his ‘wardrobe’ which wasn’t a school uniform and he had a 50 year old mattress on the bedroom floor that he shared with his brothers. He had nothing. No presents at Christmas; no one making him go to school; no food; only allowed one bath a week; clothes rarely washed. He was responsible for looking after younger siblings.

I have to ask myself why?

A smoothie and PE after school wouldn’t have done Jack shit for my husband. He wouldn’t have benefited from annual passes at the weekend as his mum wouldn’t have gotten out of bed to take him.

I think the reality of life for some children is far shittier than anyone can imagine and op, your ideas just bypass the actual immediate needs of the kids who really need intervention.

I’d love to say what I think should be done, but I’m sure I’d be chased off Mumsnet for airing those thoughts, parent classes from a young age spring to mind and better focus on sex education. But MIL hasn’t changed and my husband is her only child who went on to have a successful life. My husband’s siblings remain in poverty, continuing to have more children of their own and continue to bring them up in the same manner. My husband was able to avoid that life because we met each other at a very young age and my parents made sure he had his basic needs met and encouraged him to continue education, offering financial support.

I don’t think the problem we face can be fixed with smoothies and cinema tickets, though I wish it could.

Sounds great to me. A bit Finnish. Maybe not the smoothies. Not a chance with tories in government sadly and all the people being outraged at the thought of kids getting free stuff

Things I'd like to see smaller classes. Plenty of support teachers to plug the gaps in children's learning, inc those with SEN.

Ensure that all children are given a decent standard of education. Take the pressure off young people to care for others. By providing carers and support for those who need it.

Schools cannot do everything but ensure covid, poverty don't affect children's life chances.

These things sound great, but, in practice, it doesn't work like this.

Take sure start. We had three in our constituency: all of which are now children's centres. No one goes on a regular basis. The only time there is significant engagement is when there is a themed provision that appeals to middle class mothers with children under 3.

We also have three playparks that were purchased at extraordinary expense in our parish (think £70,000 for one smallish "interactive" installation, roughly the annual council tax of fifty homes in our area). One is used by three families, and that's it. Another is empty practically all of the time. The insurance on them is pretty hefty as well.

State provision is expensive. Really expensive. Look at it this way: if you buy your child an apple, you go to the supermarket, purchase the apple, wash it and give it to your child. Maybe you cut it up first.

If a Borough council wants to give local children apples, it requires meetings, purchasing decisions, tenders, finance, logistics and fuel costs, briefing papers, proposals passed, organising delivery spaces, packing, roll out, distribution centres, risk assessments, insurance, and possibly volunteers (who all need to fill out huge volunteering packs).

Unless you can buy those apples in bulk for a pittance, the cost of the council providing an apple to a child can be more than double the cost to the parent of actually buying the child an apple themselves, and will probably involve over 60 people in one way or another.

I'm involved in local government and there's a lot of things we would like to do that we just cannot because of the liability risk. The insurance cost, for example, of holding a kids' sports event for 150 children in a local park for three hours with parents in situ is over £400. And that's before anyone has turned up, done anything, or bought any equipment or prizes. And it takes months of planning.

Swallow and amazon's style for me

Honestly, it starts in early years education. State funded daycare from age 0 for every child. Free. Needs to be free. And easy to access.