Was I “ being self entitled “ to request a vaccination with relevant proof and back up from medical team.

[Whattheactual20201]

I have a DD7 ( 2 other children ) my 7 year old is complex and requires nursing care that I provide ( IV meds/ fluids via IV line / cpap ) unfortunately only one other person is trained in her cares who currently also works with in the NHS so is pretty busy right now can’t take time off work etc

If I was to catch covid I one wouldn’t be able to isolate from her putting her at risk. She would have to be admitted in to hospital taking up a bed space which are important right now if I was to fall sick with covid.
Medical team advocated for me to receive a vaccine and I have it next week. This has caused uproar of me pushing in front of line. However I am extremely anxious about this and keeping daughter from having to do go in to hospital on her own and also the pressure on the NHS already.

Hi Op
I am glad to hear your vaccine request was accepted
that's good
Your family situation is perfect example of the NHS system doing the right thing..

Your friend sounds bit envious tbh about this,
I don't think would have a issue if it was reversed this and it was in her favour decision.

I don't think she is a good friend by the sounds of it.

You could do better than her as a friend.
Focus more on better postive people as friends,
And less on this so called friend..x

@StatisticalSense

YWNBU to ask to be put in band 6 with other unpaid carers, however as the JCVI have specifically discussed this issue and decided that band 6 is the appropriate level of priority you would be self entitled to expect the be placed any higher than this.

Are there seriously no limits to your often nasty attitude?

Hi Op
Oops I ment to say your so called no good friend
If it was reversed in her favour in regard of NHS and vaccine she obviously would not have any issue
Whats ever.😕

Of course you aren't being unreasonable, or entitled!
I'm carer for my adult son (autism LDs, Ulcerative Colitis) and I'm also a special needs worker in school... but my son doesn't need specialist care that no one else can give! Your friend is ridiculous..and I suspect jealous.
Getting you protected is simply sensible!

[quote Whattheactual20201]@elfycat I think covid has really made people a bit more frantic than usual. We all want our protection it’s just so hard.[/quote]
The amount of stupid arguements over trivial things people have had this year has been ridiculous. It is not suprising that something like this (which I imagine is a genuine cause of stress for your friend) has led to something kicking of. It is not your fault though, and you are 100% entitled to the vaccine. If you value the friendship you could either try giving her some space to cool of or, if you think it would work, saying the "yes its so unfair on you and (daughter of friend) that they didnt offer it. Do you want me to let you know the process I went through to get the vaccine?" Basically be an ally offering advice. But only if you can be bothered and think it might help. Otherwise levaing well alone could be best. I also wouldnt share with more people (in RL) that you are having the vaccine since people are wierd atm. Either you will get jealousy or someone talking aout microchips/bill gates/steralisations.

Medical team advocated for me to receive a vaccine and I have it next week. This has caused uproar of me pushing in front of line.

Bloody hell. Ignore your so-called “best friend”.

You didn’t push in, you didn’t demand - the medical team made a clinical decision based on risk/reward.

Don’t waste one single second worrying about this, please.

But by the way, if she had been gossiping about it/stirring up trouble with other people rather than just complaining to you I would definately be evaluating the friendship since that is a different level.

I think you should be vaccinated as priority and I'm so sorry you have been made to doubt yourself. X

@Whattheactual20201. You are NOT being selfish or entitled, your friend, however, is not much of a friend.

I'm really sorry for the situation you are in with your DD, it's bloody tough & completely exhausting & with 2 other kids as well, you're a star ⭐️

They wouldn't have allowed you to have it, if they didn't feel it was 'your turn'. It's great you're able to have it, but I'm sorry you're in a situation that gives you that priority.

Obviously most people want it as soon as possible, and I'd happily drive a long way fir a 3am appointment if they start making that an option. Fir myself and because I can, which leaves a more accessible location & better time in the day for someone else.

I'm glad you asked & I'm glad they recognised your greater need!

It's very difficult to maintain friendships when you have high needs children, & littke to no help, so maybe you are willing to accept her shitty behaviour, but she really isn't being a good friend.

Some goid friends & I are all between 50 & 60 with various underlying conditions & some are in different counties - we are all wondering in what order we will get the vaccine, but we will all be pleased for the others, no matter what order because we are friends & want the best for each other.

Parent of complex SEN child here. You deserve your spot and I absolutely want you to go ahead of me. A true friend will understand.

[quote Whattheactual20201]@elfycat I think covid has really made people a bit more frantic than usual. We all want our protection it’s just so hard.[/quote]
It's honestly really not that hard!!

Most if us want it! Decent people don't begrudge those in more need getting it first!! (Or those putting themselves at risk to help others etc).

There's no excuse fir her attitude, so don't try to excuse it & doubt yourself 💐

I'm a carer for my son and you definitely need the vaccine before me.
If I'm ill, my husband can take over his care or even mum if we were absolutely desperate.
Your friend is being unreasonable.

@CloseSchoolsProtecttheNHS

Parent of complex SEN child here. You deserve your spot and I absolutely want you to go ahead of me. A true friend will understand.

Have you investigated getting yours sooner?

I want mine! But I totally support parents with children with SEN/complex needs/medical needs etc ASAP.

I’m desperate to get a vaccine but I think that you are the perfect example of someone who really should be vaccinated as early as possible.

Absolutely you aren’t being unreasonable. Drs are only allowed to move people up who are in very very vulnerable circumstances. They wouldn’t be moving you up if you were being unreasonable.
I’m a carer to my son, but its like everything, everyone’s situation is different. Honestly, I feel like you have enough on your plate without having a friend who doesn’t see why you need to be safe from Covid.
Take your of yourself

My Ds needs constant 1:1 care (autism). I think you should have it before me and would imagine most would. Your friend is being a bit obtuse but is probably scared. Be kind if you can, otherwise take a little breather.

@StatisticalSense

YWNBU to ask to be put in band 6 with other unpaid carers, however as the JCVI have specifically discussed this issue and decided that band 6 is the appropriate level of priority you would be self entitled to expect the be placed any higher than this.

The Drs are allowed to move people up under circumstances where there is extreme vulnerability. This was ‘discussed and decided on’ and added to the priority system for Drs to make those decisions. These Dr’s know the OP and her child and made that call, so no, not self entitled, exactly why this clause was build into the priority system in the first place.

You were absolutely not in the wrong, your "friend" is too short sighted not to see that it's not about doing you a favour by protecting you, it's not even just doing a service to your child by protecting their care either. If you got ill from this that's 2 hospital beds then that would be taken up, double what most other people are risking, 2 other people then couldn't be treated. Makes total sense to vaccinate you and others in similar situations asap!

Some people are just like this. Take a look at a few of the covid vaccination threads on here. I've seen plenty of people claim that all sorts of people should have priority over others for the most bizarre and illogical reasons.

I remember back in the first lock down when some people were saying that supermarket staff were at greater risk of infection than the doctors and nurses actually treating covid patients hands on at the hospital. Yes, really.

One thing I have learned from this pandemic is that some people have no ability to asses risk, and will insist until they are blue in the face that their need is greater than others, no matter what.

Your daughter has a physical issue, obviously. Your friend's son does not. You are not being the least self-entitled. You are protecting a very vulnerable child, as you should. If your friend does not understand the difference, I wonder at the value of the friendship.

I can see both sides.

Yes you should get it. But as the lone parent of a disabled child and a cv child I think its awful that some replies are so harsh re your friend. Im in group 6 which personally I think is unfair as back office NHS staff are getting it.
If i fall ill 2 kids go into the foster system. Not exactly best use of resources there. I think carers should be higher up.

You’re the perfect example of being really deserving. Having an IV line indicates she needs serious care - aside from the reasons for it, just having one makes her vulnerable. Not saying your friend’s kid doesn’t have struggles but seriously, in comparison to a kid with with an IV line? And a 7 year old is still such a baby it would be horrible for her to have to be hospitalised without you. Your ‘friend’ is an idiot. I’m picturing her insisting her kid be treated for a sprained ankle ahead of someone with a gushing stab wound. Being an adult means understanding that you’re not the most important person in the world, that resources are scarce and you have to wait your turn when needier people go ahead. She’s the entitled one. Toddlers are more generous of spirit than her...

You absolutely need to be vaccinated ASAP I agree. This shows why putting people into groups doesn’t work, no individual circumstances are considered. I’m frontline NHS staff so have mine next week also. The managers who are not public facing, have been working from home all year and are not ECV will also have theirs. How are they higher priority than carers in your situation? I appreciate it would have been a logistical nightmare to arrange a fair and individual list of priority but anyone who says you’ve pushed in is being ridiculous!

YANBU at all! I'm glad doctors are exercising this flexibility.

Longer term, is there any possibility of fully training someone else in your DD's care? I was able to go to my goddaughter's hospital appointment (pre-covid) to be trained in IVs and feeding tubes just in case my friend had an emergency.

If i fall ill 2 kids go into the foster system. Not exactly best use of resources there. I think carers should be higher up.

But that's not how it works. The majority of people who get covid will not take up a hospital bed or die. Most won't even have any noticeable symptoms. The point of giving vaccinations to people is limiting the number of people who end up in hospital or die, not to protect an individual, not vulnerable person from happening to catch covid. You could have 6 kids with autism that rely on you, but as long as you and your kids aren't clinically vulnerable, it makes no real difference to where you should be in the schedule, other than perhaps bumping you up above someone else who is also not clinically vulnerable, but happens to not have dependents.

The reason that the OP's situation is different is because it directly impacts upon her daughter, who IS classed as clinically vulnerable. That's why it makes sense to vaccinate OP - here we are circling back to the point about keeping hospital beds free and reducing number of deaths.

People seem to be losing sight of this.