Home schooling as lone working parent

[Billi77]

Anyone else? I’m getting around this by 5am wake ups before 5yo DD gets up at 8 and lots of TV. Am not a key worker but work on grants so have to work. Am also a little annoyed that kids with one key worker parent can send their kids to school. Even though I wouldn’t risk their well being by making a complaint. They have a distinct advantage by having 2 incomes rather than one.

What flexibility will your employer offer? I am a key worker, but not eligible for a school place as I can work from home (our school policy is that they will only take key worker children who will not have a parent at home at all to look after them). I wouldn't have sent mine anyway because I think it's safer for them to be at home, but I had to clarify for my employer. Would you be able to spread your work over 6 or 7 days instead of 5? Could your employer offer flexibility by overlooking that you are working fewer hours? I'm fortunate that mine has said basically do the best you can, but no one is keeping track of how much I'm working and there are lots of projects that will just be postponed because I can't get to them, and that's just how it is right now. These are extraordinary circumstances. Also, don't feel bad about the tv. Mine watched about 8 hours of tv a day from March to August of last year. All fine in the end. These really aren't normal times. Children miss out on formal schooling for years on end in wars, and then catch up. A lot of tv in an otherwise safe happy home will do no one any harm. Hang in there, it's hard.

Yes, I'm a LP working from home.

No particular gems of wisdom to offer, just to say its horrendous. I'm constantly conscious of how lucky I am to work in safety but the impact on mine and my daughter's mental health has been brutal.

My employer offered me no flexibility at all: the first lockdown as absolutely horrific for me: the only way I could guarantee the ability to work without disruption was basically to shove my kid in front of a screen for eight hours a day. I'm sufficiently angry that I've resigned and am going to another job.

The only recommendation I have is to be kind to yourself: its a fucking nightmare for lone parents and if your kid is healthy and happy and you're managing to get any work done at all you're winning.

If anything positive emerges out of this I'd like to think that employers will in future be more sensitive to the impact of childcare etc on parents -- this pandemic has really laid bare the absurdity of so many of the rules of presenteeism and how family-unfriendly many employers are.

But I'm not holding my breath....

Take out your annoyance at keyworkers. There is far toomuch hype on this forum about who should and shouldn't be allowed in school. Focus on what you can do in your situation.

I am a keyworker so My DC is 3 days at school 2 days at home , work days are much easier ..Home schooling sucks.

This isn't true homeschooling.You can only do your best , Everyone is stgruggling to manage. Just ensure they read enjoy stories if they don't manage anything else. They will be supported when they go back to school for everything you don't manage.

Also I would say depending upon access arrangements. Can you do some schooling on a weekend or work on a weekend..At 5 lots of learning through play can be done.

You are doing your best.. celebrate that not what you can't possibly fit in.

Do you have a device she can use? Reading eggs are offering free access for thirty days, my daughter will play on that for longer than she'll watch TV.
I know it's not ideal, but at least she'll be doing some learning

Thanks everyone. I most certainly don’t have it in for key workers! I am very grateful that I don’t have to send DD into school right now. But yes, it is hard on a single income and on limited time to work. I accept my parenting is going to be pretty rubbish for a while. Luckily we are in a childcare bubble with neighbours which helps massively.
And it’s v helpful to know others are in the same boat on here! IRL the only single parents I know are actually co parents. DD father is v much out of the picture and v far away.

Not a single parent but my husband is currently working away for the foreseeable. So I'm homeschooling two kids and working, plus nursery runs for the youngest.

It's crap. Trying to facilitate everything is HARD.

We do reading eggs and math seeds, the kids can do it without my input and it keeps them educational occupied for a bit.

As for school work, we turn up for the zoom calls as, again, I don't need to have much input. I can work right next to them to help with technical issues if necessary.

Any worksheets, I do what we can.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Is your d. In reception?

What a bloody nightmare. So much responsibility on your shoulders and too many expectations.

I know it might sound old-fashioned, but I always found Sesame Street to be the best "online" school in the universe!

Good luck and definitely cut yourself lots of slack.

You are right op, it’s absolutely shit. We and our kids are being shat on by government. In my kid’s class, more than half the key worker places are taken up by kids from families with 2 parents where only one is a key worker and the others are part time creative jobs (because the key worker is actually well paid - think high up management in key industry, or senior teachers). It’s an utter joke. What those families are saying - it seems with the support of the government - is that having to juggle working and homeschooling with just one parent around is too much for them; but the likes of me and you, and our kids? Well we can suck that shit up. It feels like it’s back to single mothers being the scum of the earth again. Oh and survival of the sharpest elbows.
There are people at the school gates I won’t be able to look in the face come reopening. They have totally gamed the system (putting everyone’s lives in danger in the process) and I take personal offence at the way they imply my and my kid’s hardship is too much for them.

On a positive note: your kid is only 5. I would echo what others have said and cut yourself a bit of slack. Try and make sure you read with them (bit of them, bit of you) each day, and if you can, play a number/Counting game. Keep them drawing to keep their manual dexterity up (pencil holding) and if you haven’t already, download Khan academy kids.

It’s quite hard not to get too bitter I have to admit! A lot of my bitterness is via people sending kids to school when they don’t have to and the risks they are taking on peoples lives. I’m willing to take on the sacrifice now tbh, though I think I, like everybody, is entitled to the odd good moan!
Yes, reception!

Another single parent here. Yes I am jealous of couples who can take turns and get a break. Hasn’t considered the double income point as well.

I’m the only single parent in my daughters class at school. I cannot homeschool her and do my job and my ex husband is not involved so no money or childcare from him. I have a childcare bubble so can get a couple of hours break at the weekend but feel so guilty using that time for anything other than working. My daughter regressed massively in the last lockdown and developed anxiety.

Yes, I am annoyed that there are sahm in my child’s class who are sending their kids in because they can but I can’t - when I am working there is no one else to look after her. Pre Covid if you let your child watch tv for 8 hours a day you would be accused of neglect but it is good enough for the children of single parents.

Oh, I feel so sorry for any lone parent trying to manage childcare/homeschooling and working from home at the same time. It’s not really possible. I know of single parent friends who have moved back to their parents so that they have childcare

@Gardenista Pre Covid if you let your child watch tv for 8 hours a day you would be accused of neglect but it is good enough for the children of single parents.

Exactly that. I have to stay angry about it because the alternative is it makes me want to break down and cry at what society, the government and supposed friends at the school gates accept for MY child but not their own

Billi, I an so sorry. I am also homeschooling against my will, 3 primary school children. At the moment, my studies hasn’t started, so I have been able to be involved. We have now 5-6 online lessons every day (some people would say lucky, some would say unlucky as they struggle to remain focused and wanders off).

I have noticed a few things (based on spring distance learning and now).

1. Looking at pure learning, school wastes a huge amount of time. Things that would take 5 min to explain takes 20-30 and the exercises are one level for the entire set (sometimes too hard, sometimes much too easy). The amount of chatting, especially in year 3 (my youngest, reception will be more) is massive.

2. They include videos for topics which sometimes are good, sometimes pretty useless.

3. It is very hard for them to get help to properly understand things, regardless of lesson. The teacher cannot give a lot of attention to everyone, they just don’t have the time. It is even harder via distance learning.

4. Any 1:1 time you are able to spend will have a massive impact on your DD.

5. Bribes and chores work.

I thought I did an appalling job last spring. I tried to run between children, studies (ended up taking a study break) and the the tip of a home we lived in. I prioritised maths, English and science. My children were massively ahead when they came back, probably due to the 1:1 time I did spend with them, really explaining exactly what they were unable to do.

If I were you I would make four lists,

a) one with what you want to do with your DD every day (in reception, 30min English and 30min maths is plenty).

b) one with easy tasks your DD can do independently like easy mental maths (there are several workbooks you can buy), practice spellings, handwriting etc. These should take maximum 20min each.

c) one with videos (about 10-20min for children) about any topic they read about.

d) one with easy chores for your DD (make her bed, tidy up toys etc).

Schedule the 1:1 learning whenever works for your work (morning, evening). Try to eat meals together and chat, even if it only is 5min. Give your DD the lists b-d (easy work, video, chores). When she has finished those, she can watch TV. If you are very ambitious, add 30min independent drawing/play.

I can almost promise you that your daughter will be ahead of her peers when she gets back. She will also do the expected work as she will be keen to get onto the IPad/TV is she is anything like my children. You could even break it up into “independent maths/English before TV in the morning” and “chores and video before TV in the afternoon”.

This is really hard. Sending you

Thanks so much. We are now getting the ‘school’ out of the way by lunchtime so we can be flexible in the afternoon. It’s all very sad, for so many people. But it’s so much easier this time round than it was in March when she was as still 3 and insisting on endless role place games: she could have come in handy in modern warfare as a torture device. But even then the whole experience was massively bonding for us.