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Original poster

How to help Needle phobic DH

36 replies

Seainasive · 08/01/2021 08:23

I am so excited about the vaccines and can’t wait! My DH is older than me and over 60 so presumably ahead of me in the queue. He’s told me he won’t go when it’s his turn as he doesn’t like needles and is convinced he will faint. How have I lived with this man for 20 years and not known this??

I’m afraid my response was first incredulity and then anger. Jab V risk of death & risk to others, the choice should be an easy one.

This was of course not helpful and he won’t budge. I know it’s his body and I should back right off, but is there anything that helps needle phobics get vaccinated?

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 08/01/2021 08:27

Emla cream (get it over the counter at a pharmacy) which will actually numb the skin a bit, but also has fantastic placebo effect.

I wonder how he'd cope with other diagnoses that require blood tests, or lines into the body? I do get that real phobias aren't rational, and can't just be wished away. I'm just wondering if this is a full on phobia or rather a dislike/avoidance?

inquietant · 08/01/2021 08:29

Hypnosis might work.

A phobia is a phobia. I understand your rational view but rationality is powerless in a fight with a phobia.

Read up on phobias to stop you losing it with him as that won't help either.

Original poster
Seainasive · 08/01/2021 08:31

He hasn’t had to, he’s an active healthy person. No idea how he’d cope with blood tests etc it genuinely has never come up in all the years we’ve been together!

OP posts:
CrunchyCarrot · 08/01/2021 08:37

I'd say it's a full-on phobia (I suffer from phobias too and understand it), the very fact your DH has never mentioned it over the time you've known him is characteristic of that. I never mention my phobias if I can help it, just talking or writing about them makes me break out in a cold sweat and become very anxious.

I cannot do normal blood tests, I send off for finger-prick test kits (luckily they cover the thyroid and vitamin tests I need and my doctor accepts the result).

Phobias are very serious and debilitating. If you get angry with your DH, that will just push him further away and won't help at all. Shaming won't help either. He is terrified and needs help/reassurance. This is a very trying time for needle-phobes as there are literally pictures of needles everywhere you look on the media.

Jab V risk of death & risk to others, the choice should be an easy one.

It isn't, though, because phobias aren't resolved via rational arguments.

I have seen there's a nasal Covid vaccine in development (can't recall which company) and I'm hoping that one will be OK for me at a later date.

FippertyGibbett · 08/01/2021 08:38

If he thinks he will feint he should ask to lie down to have the jab.
He should eat breakfast/lunch before he goes as it definitely makes a difference, and should take a bottle of water and something sweet to have afterwards.
He should have someone drive him, just in case.
And finally the EMLA cream should be put at the top end of his arm muscle. It should be put on in a ‘puddle’, not rubbed in like moisturiser, with a dressing over the top. Leave it on, the nurse will remove it when it’s time.

FippertyGibbett · 08/01/2021 08:39

CrunchyCarrott - I believe the nasal spray in development is for children. It probably won’t be licensed for over 18’s, like the flu nasal spray.

GCAcademic · 08/01/2021 08:45

I have had hypnosis for needle phobia (years ago), though I think CBT is now more commonly used. It hasn’t made me completely fine with needles, but sufficiently better that I can cope as long as I lie down when they jab me.

Mousehole10 · 08/01/2021 08:45

Does he want the vaccine, wild he have it if it wasn’t for his phobia? If he doesn’t want it at all then there’s not much you can do. If it’s his phobia stopping him can he get some beta blockers to get through it? I’ve used those before for blood tests and injections.

bumblingbovine49 · 08/01/2021 08:49

DHs flying phobia responded well to hypnotherapy , though he was quite motivated to get over it as well.
DH still doesn't like flying but he can cope ok with ights now as opposed to the full blown panic attacks he used to have which stopped him flying at all.

httpss://www.sense-ability.co.uk/Blog/2020/12/29/how-do-i-overcome-needle-phobias

RoganJosh · 08/01/2021 08:49

It’s worth talking to him a bit more about the fainting. In the nicest possible way, why does he think this matters? Maybe talk through how the jab will be given with him sitting down, then he has to stay sitting for another few minutes. If he feels funny he can say so and stay sting down and put his head between his knees.
If he faints it feels a bit unpleasant, that’s all. Has he got confused with blacking out after a head injury and think it’s bad for him?

PenguinTherapy · 08/01/2021 08:59

Don't get angry with him - you'll both end up feeling worse and the actual situation at hand (the need to have a jab) won't move forward.

Have a look at this thread - I have found it extremely helpful www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4119550-tips-for-having-a-jab-if-it-s-ages-since-you-ve-had-one

I also have a very severe needle phobia. I tried CBT but ended up getting turned away at the end of the requisite NHS sessions, being told that they couldn't help me.

I have been tied up in knots about the covid jab and have had so many sleepless nights over the past 10 months, knowing that it is coming. I have also never told me husband (21 years) about this phobia and I still haven't. I'm not sure if he's picked up on the fact that I change the channel every time there is footage of the jabs being given or get very shaky whenever the subject is mentioned. I know I'm going to have to tell him at some point so that he can help me through the appointment. Right now though, I'm focusing on the fact that although I'm terrified of getting the jab, I do want to be vaccinated. This means that for the very first time in my life, I am choosing to be jabbed rather than have a needle forced on me. I think this is making a huge difference but has taken a good few months for me to get to this point.

Right now my worry is where the jab will be done and who will administer it. Fine to ask to be lying down etc in a proper medical setting but if I'm queuing up in a sports stadium about to be stabbed by a gruff army guy, I think I'd lose it. Same if I just have to stick my arm out the car window. But, still, I keep coming back to the benefits and the fact that I am taking control by choosing to have it.

Nasal spray is giving me hope though!

scrivette · 08/01/2021 09:26

DH has a needle phobia and it's making him very stressed thinking about it.

A real phobia is completely irrational to those who don't suffer from them, it's not just a case of putting up with it or dealing with it.

DH fainted in the delivery room with DSS due to an unexpected needle being there and I asked him not to be in the room when I had my C Section so that I could concentrate on me rather than worrying about him.

The nasal vaccine will give him some hope.

biteysaurus · 08/01/2021 09:27

I'm a CBT therapist and have successfully treated phobias inc needle phobia. Should be able to get a referral for NHS CBT through your local IAPT service. Good luck!

biteysaurus · 08/01/2021 09:28

Could also look into Applied Tension technique if he's mostly concerned about fainting.

rosie1959 · 08/01/2021 09:42

There is a cream you can get to numb the area they used to use it on my daughter to insert cannulas I believe you may be able to get it from a chemist She doesn’t bother now she it type 1 diabetic and has been injecting herself 4 times a day since 8 years old
I am not keen on needles but I had my first ever flu jab a week or so ago the nurse had to tell me she had done it as felt nothing
My daughter who injects also feels nothing unless she is lazy and doesn’t change the needle
Don’t mind who does my vaccination or where local vet would do

ssd · 08/01/2021 09:48

I started a thread about this and got pelted.

Basically I said I couldn't stand seeing all these vaccinations on telly all the time.

I hate needles too.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 08/01/2021 09:54

I’m afraid my response was first incredulity and then anger. Jab V risk of death & risk to others, the choice should be an easy one.

You clearly don't understand a real phobia. It really isn't an easy choice as it's not a dislike, it's a real paralysing fear. I can understand how your husband feels, I have no idea how I will cope with having the jab. DH will have to drive me as I won't be in a fit state but even the thought of him not being able to go in with me makes me panic.

Try and show some understanding.

FippertyGibbett · 08/01/2021 10:19

[quote CrunchyCarrot]I believe the nasal spray in development is for children. It probably won’t be licensed for over 18’s, like the flu nasal spray.

@FippertyGibbett

Nasal vaccine (not just for kids!)

www.pharmatimes.com/news/green_light_for_uk_trial_of_nasal_coronavirus_vaccine_1360017

www.cell.com/cell/fulltext/S0092-8674(20)31068-0

otp.tools.investis.com/clients/uk/open_orphan/rns/regulatory-story.aspx?cid=2484&newsid=1435891

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9051675/Codagenix-Serum-Institute-begin-UK-trials-nasal-COVID-19-vaccine-January.html

www.indiatoday.in/coronavirus-outbreak/story/india-nasal-coronavirus-vaccine-soon-trials-begin-nagpur-1756780-2021-01-07[/quote]
Well that would be very good news if it works in over 18’s.

frozendaisy · 08/01/2021 10:22

I would gently point out that he would have more needles if he ended up in ITU however unlikely.

Needles have become so much thinner in recent times. He just doesn't need to look, one flu jab I didn't even know it had been done. I don't look not because it's a phobia but I just tense up without looking I relax

efeslight · 08/01/2021 10:37

Tell him to tell the Medical staff so they know, he should ask to lay down. Then he should look away from them, distract himself by making small talk with them. Then concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply, haven't got a particular method or clip to link to, sorry, but have a look online for breathing techniques. A glass of coke before might also help. These are my techniques to stop myself fainting, honed over many years!

CrunchyCarrot · 08/01/2021 10:49

I would gently point out that he would have more needles if he ended up in ITU however unlikely.

That won't help, either, it will likely just raise his anxiety more.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 08/01/2021 10:57

@frozendaisy

I would gently point out that he would have more needles if he ended up in ITU however unlikely.

Needles have become so much thinner in recent times. He just doesn't need to look, one flu jab I didn't even know it had been done. I don't look not because it's a phobia but I just tense up without looking I relax

Believe me, with a real phobia that won't help! Needles could be invisible and I would still panic just knowing it's going to happen.

OP, please don't tell him he would have more needles in ITU, if he's like me it will only make matters worse

nicknamehelp · 08/01/2021 11:02

Tough love approach of if catches probably will involve more than quick jab!

notapizzaeater · 08/01/2021 11:15

My DS is needle phobic, we use EMLA cream for jabs, bloods etc. He's 6' now and 'solid' but still petrified of them.