Is this exposure?

[LillyBottom]

My husband ordered a takeaway. I don’t usually get involved in that as I don’t eat takeaways. But he was in the shower when the guy turned up and unfortunately I had to answer the door.

The guy wasn’t wearing a mask ( not sure if he has to but saying for context) and was by the door. I immediately stepped back and practically held my breath, not planned to but possibly involuntarily, he hasn’t if we placed an order and I just said ‘ ‘hmm’ and tapped the card to the reader.
My hallway is small so was not 6ft apart the duration would be possibly just under a minute. I’m pretty sure there will be plenty of posters saying how silly I am..sorry but I’m very anxious

@Rose4578 thank you understanding- I’m pretty much the same- go out to walk/run as it’s outdoors
I never was keen to walk around shops even before Covid- was always an online shopper.

And ditto about wiping down surfaces etc

The role I’m in has a constant element of Covid related topics-which doesn’t help

@relievedlady thank you for being kind and understanding- yes I think I have an element of health anxiety and it started after my daughters birth
I haven’t tried talking therapy- will look into this.

I should have just asked the guy to leave the food by the door and put the money in an envelope and left it outside or pushed it through the letterbox...hindsight!

@Yourmomgoestocollege

At work we're told exposure is 15 mins or more and closer than 2m. I'd think you're fine unless he was actively coughing.

This is really bad advice. It is only for a marker for track and trace to cope. One breath out from someone you breath in is enough. 30sec in a car. One hug/putting your heads together for a photo.

14mins isn’t magic.
Outside isn’t magic, people think outside is a magic force field. The amount of people I saw today going up and talking to each other under 1m. Bonkers.

@LillyBottom

I read your post and reasonate with it and remember that feeling well.

I can remember thinking and quietly talking myself down on more than one occasion when I was in a literal blind panic and it's horrendous.

Is your dh supportive op?

Mine is amazing when I'm having a particularly bad time and as writing this I've just remembered not that long ago I had got it in my head I could smell gas as we'd just had a new boiler fitted and it didn't go to plan to start with.

I paced around for about an hour constantly checking the boiler and convinced myself I could smell gas from it.
Dh came down as he could hear me and talked to me and checked all the things I had checked as well as the monoxide alarm to reassure me.

It sometimes scares me how the brain can play tricks on you and make things so so real but I've really learnt through talking therapy how to talk myself down in my mind and it's helped massively.

Anyone who has never suffered with it has no idea how it feels and it's scary.

SunKeepsShining I agree being outside doesn’t give you complete safety. Most people I see will cross over or I will, but I am surprised at how many people seem to forget social distancing. I’ve come to realise everyone has their level of risk they are prepared to take which is fair enough. But I don’t agree with making someone feel bad for taking caution in a situation where you could get severely ill or die. I’ve seen both sides, someone in their 60’s who had just had a stroke and diabetic recover from COVID. I’ve also just found out today someone relatively healthy in their 60’s also has passed away after a couple of weeks in ICU. Another passed away just last week also having been in ICU for three weeks. It’s serious but some people just haven’t seen the effects first hand. They hear it on the news, they see the lockdown but it either hasn’t clicked/ don’t think it’s serious or just fed up. Some of the people I knew who were in that group have completely changed their views after first hand experience. We just have to follow the rules and be sensible as well as kind to one another.

@relievedlady your post made me well up..it’s the feeling if ‘someone understands what I’m going through’! Yes I’ve had the same issue around boiler and carbon monoxide- I’ve got an alarm inside the boiler room and still felt that there was a leak

I don’t think my husband understands what I’m going through- he sees it as something I should snap out of..unfortunately not that easy

@SunKeepsShining I agree with this- people come very close when outside, I choose paths where thee are not many people do that I can still maintain distance.

Totally agree re: 15 min exposure as well, they are guidelines but if someone is infected in close proximity it doesn’t have to be 15 mins or more , and if the new strain os more infectious that questions this time limit further doesn’t it?

I really hope I haven’t been exposed IF the delivery person was an asymptomatic carrier. I don’t want to see every single person as a disease carrying vector however we are in a raging pandemic and unfortunately unless we are very careful the end will keep slipping further and further away, won’t it?

My daughters husband slept in the same bed as her for a full week while she had covid . He didn't catch it . What makes you think you would get it being 3 feet from a delivery driver for a few minutes ?

@LillyBottom

That's a shame your dh has that thought process although to be honest mine was abit like that to start with I think until I had a really bad episode a couple of years ago where I felt something was stuck in my throat and I couldn't swallow.
I was convinced so I drove int snowy ice to my nearest minor injuries unit for help.

The nurse took one look at me and called the ooh gp to come and talk to me as she could see I was having a panic that was turning into an attack.

When he gently explained to me the throat lump is one of the signs of anxiety and talked to me calmly for a while I literally stopped feeling it but at the time I was so convinced it was awful.

When I got home dh was quite worried as he knows how I have never and would never choose to drive in snow and Ice and when I told him what had happened and that my gp was going to ring me the next morning he was quite shocked and said he felt bad for not seeing how awful I must have been feeling so since then he knows the signs well.

Op honestly I've been there and still am at times but I've learnt how to deal with it in my head now which means each flare up lasts a shorter and shorter time.

Feel free to pm anytime if you need a chat

@relievedlady yes had the lump in the throat as well, was very scary the first time and the really ‘hot’ feeling which swept my entire body.

Not many people understand this kind of thing, frankly I don’t expect many to either. If it’s visual many find it easy to sympathise, like a broken arm but not many ‘get’ what this kind of irrational thoughts feel like.

I’m really glad I was able to speak to someone who understands! Not see me as ‘oh here she goes again’ kind of way

OP, you sound exactly like me, so I can fully appreciate where you are coming from with your thinking. My anxiety would have made me very anxious in this same scenario, but (logically) I would know that the chances of being infected would be very slim. The man was stood outside, so there was ventilation. I always ask for deliveries to be left on the doorstep (I pop a box outside), so you may want to consider doing this in the future if you think it will help you.
A PP mentioned show exhausted you must be from the anxiety, and I can relate to that.I know how my anxiety impacts my husband; it’s draining for us both. I re-started my antidepressants a few months ago, and I feel little improvement, sadly. I plan to look at my CBT books and see if they will help instead.
Try not to let it worry you now (I know it is easier said than done!), as that moment has already happened and you can’t change the situation. I hope you manage to switch off from it.

Thank you @RockPaperScissorLizardSpock I admit I do feel anxious about the scenario and it’s blocking me thinking rationally about the real changes if me being ill. This is the reason I refrain from eating takeaways etc. My husband should have picked it up but as I mentioned hindsight...
I know I’ll be checking every cough etc I get for the next few days before my anxiety reduces...
It is tiring no doubt, hence the reason I live by certain rules so that I can manage this and also but some time to get help, unfortunately people around me don’t have the patience or understanding so I get pushed into scenarios which heightens my anxiety and I suffer for a few days

Lilly, I was brought up by a mother with anxiety like yours and it blighted my childhood and has affected my whole life. Please seek further treatment for her and most of all for you. This is an extreme level of anxiety - much like my mother's.

@relievedlady @RockPaperScissorLizardSpock when I feel particularly bad I read this and it helps me to feel slightly better, hope it does the same for you should you need it

Pic

@gnushoes I am seeking help, might need to review if the right kind but I am, I don’t want this to impact my daughters childhood

Op I understand your anxiety I had a similar issue the other day with the postman. It was pouring with rain and I have a small enclosed vestibule which the postman asked if he could come inside as the rain on his PDA and his wet fingers meant he couldnt use it properly. He came inside was standing very close to me without a mask for 5 minutes as he continuely tried and failed to key in the code, in the end he asked me to try and I did, I suggested he give up and leave but he kept himself firmly inside next to me tapping away at his PDA, eventually it worked, he thanked me and left and it then dawned on me what had happened. Its not likely he was infected but then again if he has been standing in lots of peoples hallways that day he could have collected it on route, so I do understand how you feel,

That’s exactly what it is @Jenasaurus ., I was aware when it was happening hence the reason why I moved further away from him as possible but still didn’t feel ‘right’

@LillyBottom

That’s exactly what it is *@Jenasaurus* ., I was aware when it was happening hence the reason why I moved further away from him as possible but still didn’t feel ‘right’

The best thing to do now is try and move on from it, I spent a while thinking about it myself and then thought, well its done now, so either I caught it or I didnt and either way there is nothing I can do, so the best thing I can recommend is to put it to the back of your mind and do something nice to help you forget and relax. We are living through very stressfull times so dont blame your initial reaction at all. Take care x