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Original poster

for being annoyed at my in-laws carelessness?!

54 replies

ims0rrydarlingg · 07/01/2021 16:56

My husband has had covid like symptoms since Monday so has been at home, off from work. He did work from home on Tuesday but called in sick since yesterday as his symptoms worsened. I have no visible symptoms but we have both done a test and are waiting for results.

I last saw his family on the 31st and he last saw them on the 3rd. We have been a support bubble with them. 6 of them in one household and then my Husband and I.

His Mum mentioned symptoms to me yesterday.

Other family members in that household have symptoms but no one is getting a test done. Okay, whatever.

I’m annoyed because his family have said to him to still come over and see them as everyone has the symptoms so it’s okay.

I’m not a firm favourite of theirs anyway so they’ll probably say I’m preventing him from seeing his family and using a ‘cold’ as an excuse. Yawn.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 07/01/2021 17:28

@ims0rrydarlingg

I have said to DH they are no longer welcome until lockdown is over. The first lockdown we weren’t living together as I was with my Dad and only came back home in August. Different counties over 100miles so stayed put there.

I’m aware of allowing them into my home I am also part of them problem.

They may not be able to visit after lockdown if we go back to the tier system. Socialising inside hasn't been allowed for much of this year at all- possibly just over the summer between lock downs. It hasn't been allowed many places at all since the November lockdown.
atswim2birds · 07/01/2021 17:29

They think they can come here whenever they want as it’s acceptable in the culture. What am I supposed to do?

Tell them to go away, obviously.

StatisticallyChallenged · 07/01/2021 17:29

@NerrSnerr

Don't let them into your house. Keep repeating the guidelines to them.

How many more households are they mixing with in 'support bubbles'?

Exactly - I bet they are not only visiting OP. Chances are this isn't a strict mutually exclusive bubble, they're probably seeing every man and his dog and doing whatever they fancy
yoyo1234 · 07/01/2021 17:31

As others say why a support bubble if 2 adults and then another household of 6 ( with at least 2 adults). Also any one has symptoms whole bubble isolates. Both households should be isolating and regardless you need to look into the definition of a support bubble.

savethewales · 07/01/2021 17:32

Have you done a postal test or delayed getting one since Monday? Just they seem to be getting results back fairly quickly otherwise.

MrsBrunch · 07/01/2021 17:33

Come on OP, you know this isn't right. You have to stop letting them visit.

Romancer · 07/01/2021 17:34

It needs explaining to them by phone that if they insist on trying to see you, it is they who will be thought to be unreasonable.
They need to follow the rules. Explain to them the rules.
That is how it is in this country/ our culture.
This is too serious a topic for them to think they can create a slice of their homeland behind their front door. They might do that for a wedding but this is about real illness.

NerrSnerr · 07/01/2021 17:34

I really think the OP needs to go onto the Gov uk site and actually read the guidelines. There is no need for her to do a test if she doesn't have symptoms because if her husband's test comes back positive she'll still have to isolate the full 10 days. All this talk about support bubbles and family visiting again when lockdown is over suggests the OP hasn't been keeping up and clearly needs to.

Februarygirl · 07/01/2021 17:34

I can imagine it's really hard to tell them they can't come round when they're not your parents and neither they nor your husband listen to you. But this is where the line has to be drawn. It's against the law for him to mix with people if he has symptoms, they just have to accept it.

Throckmorton · 07/01/2021 17:36

You should turn them away if they turn up. This is why COVID is spreading and people are dying

GypsyLee · 07/01/2021 17:37

Sounds a good time for your dh to gain a back bone and tell them what he thinks.
Irrespective of covid.

Bohemiagirl · 07/01/2021 17:37

You're not in a support bubble, you're breaking the rules. People like you make me so angry - I didn't even see my family on Xmas day, like millions of others. And culture has nothing to do with it.

Arobase · 07/01/2021 17:38

@ims0rrydarlingg

I’ve not gone to see them. They come to ours, always unannounced to see their Son. In their culture this is the norm. I’ve mentioned it several times but they think I’m being over the top. They think they can come here whenever they want as it’s acceptable in the culture. What am I supposed to do?
Point out to them that their culture doesn't override the law, nor does it prevent viruses spreading.
RainingBatsAndFrogs · 07/01/2021 17:38

They sound like complete idiots and should have said the minute they had symptoms.
And they should get tested.

You are not being OTT, it is good that your DH has not seen them since his symptoms, but he needs to stand shoulder to shoulder with you on this.

Lucieintheskye · 07/01/2021 17:47

If your husband is encouraging this, you're not locking the doors and preventing his family from coming in and now you're all at greater risk of dying, you're not going to get any good advice. I'd say leave him because he and his family have no respect for you, but perhaps you should stay with him as you seem well suited, both have no respect for anyone else.

Hotpinkangel19 · 07/01/2021 17:47

It's not your in-laws carelessness, it's all of your carelessness! You don't have a support bubble.

Needclarity · 07/01/2021 17:57

Oh dear. Do they all have SEN? Do they not understand that we, as a nation, are in a state of crisis? You and your DH must not interact with AT ALL, unless you are providing care. They sound very stupid TBH & yet again, the reason we have the number of cases we do.

Chloemol · 07/01/2021 17:59

Why are you in a bubble with them? You don’t have kids, so no childcare, and if there is six of them there will be no caring duties

Why why why

Just stop, follow the rules, refuse to let them in

AuntieMarys · 07/01/2021 18:01

You're all idiots.

Bohemiagirl · 07/01/2021 18:05

OP I was quite harsh in my previous post. Many others are too. Understandable. But at least you recognise that there is an issue. This is the time to step up and do the right thing. Otherwise not only are you risking your health, you are breaking the law.

DumplingsAndStew · 07/01/2021 18:08

This family and your husband do not care about you. They ignore your views, your voice and do not care about your health. That is apparent from this thread, without even starting on your previous threads.

You need to leave him.

Cleverpolly3 · 07/01/2021 18:13

@AuntieMarys

You're all idiots.
There is that Grin
Riapia · 07/01/2021 18:13

Your culture does not take precedence over the medical advice that we have been given.
There’s your answer.
Rinse and repeat.

airbags · 07/01/2021 18:26

You're not in a bubble with them - there is no such thing as a bubble for a family of 6 with a family of 2.

You're house, so you decide who comes in. You need to stand up to your husband and his bullying family. Families like yours are part of the massive problem we face and you're enabling it.

airbags · 07/01/2021 18:32

Have you told them "this goes against all current restrictions"