Go easy on me mn, support bubble question

[purplejungle]

Struggling mum here so please try to be gentle...

My elderly grandmother who lives alone formed a support bubble with me. She doesn't need any physical care but gets very lonely. She has told me my visits are all she has to live for.

I have an 8mo baby who I am finding much more challenging now that he is moving everywhere and needing much more entertaining. The first lockdown was ok, all he needed was cuddles, it feels much harder this time around.

I am now entitled in my own right to form a bubble because I have an under one. Had my grandmother not already formed a bubble with me, I would undoubtedly form my bubble with my parents. They can support with looking after the baby to give me a break which my grandmother can't. They will also be my childcare when I return to work so I need my baby to be comfortable around them.

My grandmother doesn't leave the house or have any other visitors.

We go nowhere else- we don't go to the shop (we have a delivery), partner works from home etc.

My parents limit their contacts out of the home but do have to go out for work, shopping etc.

My proposal is to see my grandmother, then see my parents the next day, then isolate for 10 days and see my grandmother again.

Any (kind) thoughts?

I don’t know why you need people to be kind?

The rule is that you form a bubble with one household. Not sure what more there is to say about that.

If you knew you would be relying on your parents for childcare, surely you knew they’d have to be in your bubble?

Don't quote me op but I'm pretty sure I read on the gov guidelines that you can have a support bubble up to 15 people if it is for reasons such as you stated.
The new guidelines are on the website and they are quite simple to understand this time.
Hope you're okay op, you're doing great!

You are allowed a childcare bubble and a single person bubble. Many in your situation would probably still argue the grandmother was vulnerable and not even count her as a bubble and say it’s caring for the vulnerable. Seems sensible what you are suggesting.

@FamilyOfAliens

I don’t know why you need people to be kind?

The rule is that you form a bubble with one household. Not sure what more there is to say about that.

If you knew you would be relying on your parents for childcare, surely you knew they’d have to be in your bubble?

That’s not right. She can have a childcare bubble with her parents but she can’t be present. They look after the baby, they are more akin to being bubbled with the baby than her.

Actually which part of the UK you in OP?

Can you help find someone else for your DGran to see in RL, and you support her via phone and video calls for the next few weeks?

Or you don't see your parents, just drop DC, so they can be childcare bubble.

And cross your fingers that there might be a change if vaccinations really do reach all the most vulnerable by late Feb

You’re only allowed to be in one support bubble. Lots of people can’t even have that, it would be pretty selfish if you to have two. I say that as someone who also has a young baby.

You can however have one childcare bubble too. You can’t socialise with the adults in it but your parents could take the baby for a couple of hours to give you a break, and it would let your baby get used to them before you start work. Can you do this?

That seems fine to me in terms of making sure you minimise risk of giving covid to your grandmother. However, it means you can only use your parents for childcare once every 10 days too? How will this work when you are back at work? Will you then stop seeing your grandmother because your parents will be having your child a lot?

Thanks for the replies. I'm in England.

Yes my parents could be a childcare bubble without me present. However, unless I isolated after each time they cared for my child, I think that would be riskier to my grandmother than my proposed plan.

Agree this is only short term and will need to rethink when I am back at work, hoping the risk situation will be different then given vaccinations etc.

What I don't understand about these bubbles is if you moved in with your grandmother you'd still be allowed a support bubble with your family.

I think what you are doing is the right thing, as long as you are being safe and it sounds like you are considering you will then wait a period before seeing your grandmother again.

It's the people who are all having parties, people round for dinner etc that piss me off, not people looking out for their mental well-being as well as their child's.

@FTM24

What I don't understand about these bubbles is if you moved in with your grandmother you'd still be allowed a support bubble with your family.

I think what you are doing is the right thing, as long as you are being safe and it sounds like you are considering you will then wait a period before seeing your grandmother again.

It's the people who are all having parties, people round for dinner etc that piss me off, not people looking out for their mental well-being as well as their child's.

She’s not doing the right thing.

If you want to know what “the right thing” is, read the guidelines.

And it’s not either/or. Just because some people are having parties doesn’t make it ok for others to ignite the rules also.

You can't do this within the guidelines.

If you feel it is the right thing to do for you and your family then do it, but be clear that it is breaking the law.

I don’t see how it would be extra risk for them to be a childcare bubble rather than extra support bubble? Surely it would be less risk as they would only be seeing your baby and not you as well. A childcare bubble would solve your problem of wanting the baby to know them before you start work, and give you a break. Is this really just because you want to see your parents?

Thanks for the further replies.

@Mousehole10 Because if my parents cared for my child regularly without me present as part of a childcare bubble, and then my child and I visited my grandmother regularly as part of a support bubble, although this would all be within the rules, there would be a risk of us passing the virus from my parents to my grandmother, which there wouldn't be if we isolated between seeing parents and grandmother.

Just a thought but has your grandma had the vaccine yet? She should be getting it soon if not? You could do a childcare bubble with your parents and isolate after, then once she is vaccinated use the childcare bubble more often? Then all still within the rules and your grandma isn’t at risk.

Thanks @Mousehole10 that's a really helpful suggestion. Baby has never been away from me so don't know how leaving him would be, but worth a try. I do care about the rules, but I care about the risk to my grandmother more, so a way to try to be within both would be ideal. No vaccination for her yet but hopefully very soon 🤞.

What you are suggesting should keep your grandmother safe. Hopefully your only have to go through the cycle a few times then she'll be vaccinated and you can see your parents more.

If no one is going anywhere then all see each other in a three way bubble no need to isolate. The risk is someone going to work out of the home, shopping, meeting people or nursery/ school. No contacts apart from those in your bubble, no risk.

I think you can form a bubble with your parents for childcard but visit your grandma as she could be counted as a vulnerable person.

Childcare

I was under the impression Your childcare bubble could look after children in your own home with u present.

I have newborn twins and I need help - the only way a childcare bubble works for me is if it's in my house with me ... who would send their 6w old baby to another house?!

So it sounds as though your question is not about whether you're allowed to support bubble with your grandma and also childcare bubble with your parents (you are allowed).

You're concerned it's not safe to do so because your parents are out and about?

When you return to work will you be WFH?

Yes but she would have to leave the baby with her parents, she couldn’t go there and stay with her baby.
OP you know the rules, if you decide to break them it’s your choice. It doesn’t matter what people think on here.
You can’t say “Mumsnet” said it was ok if you are caught (don’t know how) or if you pass Covid to your Gran
I’m not judging but it is ultimately down to you

@sunlight81 you can form a support bubble to help with your babies, you don’t have to do it alone!
A childcare bubble is different and whilst you can, if there’s no other option, have them in your house whilst your there you shouldn’t be in the same room or socialise.

If just use your common sense. And include your grandma as well. No one will check and as long as you are careful it'll be ok. Sometimes well-being beds to come first.