Feeling so negative...foreign travel related

[Iamclearlyamug]

I haven’t seen my fiancé since September. Planned to fly out in November - cancelled due to lockdown. Planned to fly out Boxing Day - into tier 4, cancelled. Planned to fly January 11th, back into lockdown until at least February 15

I really can’t see when I’m going to see him and it’s killing me, not to mention putting enormous strain on our relationship. Nobody cares. I honestly feel like ending it all

@Iamclearlyamug I completely understand. There’s only so much communication you can do via a screen before you start struggling and need that human interaction with your other half. Could you possibly start working on the visa now whilst you both have the ‘time’ or while life is on a bit of a stand still if that makes sense? X

They definitely aren’t checking - met a nursery dad at drop off yesterday who was telling me about their lovely two weeks in the Maldives over Christmas (we are in Tier 4, and have been for some time).

I assumed the airlines were checking, but apparently not .

If you chose to fly internationally as recently as September, I have very little sympathy for you. It's thanks to people like you that we are in this current mess.

I can kind of sympathise with your situation as I’m in a similar one myself, difference being we’re both in the same country but 180 miles away from each other and can’t bubble up due to our living situations.
Now with lockdown we have no idea when we’ll see each other again, except on a screen

@ajandjjmum

Just seen this thread - DS moved to Sydney in 2019, we saw him briefly that Christmas when he came home for less than a week. We've subsequently had four flights cancelled, including Easter and June 2021 - thanks BA! So I was feeling quite sad for myself.

But then I read of those of you with partners away, and children not seeing their daddy, and it puts my complaints into perspective.

Wishing us all the opportunity of safe and healthy travel in the not too distant future.

Thank you

My love is in India. Not seen him since March and no idea when they will allow me back in. It's beyond awful.

I reserve my sympathy for the poor buggers in hospital who are not allowed visitors. You are able to Skype/ FaceTime/zoom or whatever.

@callmeadoctor sick ones in hospital are able to Skype/zoom/facetime or whatever too

But we are all allowed to feel sorry for ourselves and others, it’s not a competition on who has it the worst. As an aside I do feel sorry for those in hospital, but also for my partner who is currently alone, with no friends or family nearby and whose workplace is closed, but also can’t come and see his son. Because of Brexit and covid, boarders here are closed for non EEA citizens.

@callmeadoctor

I reserve my sympathy for the poor buggers in hospital who are not allowed visitors. You are able to Skype/ FaceTime/zoom or whatever.

Why do you feel the need to make it a competition?

I understand. I was in a LDR with my now-husband for almost 5 years before I got my green card to move to the US. The longest we went without seeing each other was 8 months and it was awful.

Now I don’t know when I’ll see my mum again. It’s been over 2 years. She was due to come here in 2020, tickets booked and everything. But we don’t know when she will be able to come or I will be able to go to the UK. It’s the not knowing how much longer it will be that makes it worse.

[quote grisen]@callmeadoctor sick ones in hospital are able to Skype/zoom/facetime or whatever too

But we are all allowed to feel sorry for ourselves and others, it’s not a competition on who has it the worst. As an aside I do feel sorry for those in hospital, but also for my partner who is currently alone, with no friends or family nearby and whose workplace is closed, but also can’t come and see his son. Because of Brexit and covid, boarders here are closed for non EEA citizens.[/quote]
I know its not a competition but having had older teen in adult hospital for last 9 months in a neuro ward, I can tell you that ward had access to one iPad. The majority of patients couldnt use it on their own (neuro or elderly) and no staff had any time to help them. Poor buggers were abandoned or shoved under a TV 24/7.

We were indeed lucky, as a teenager they were allowed one parent to be with them (adult ward), however what we witnessed when we were there probably shouldn't be exposed as too upsetting.

So yes maybe I am competing, people should get a grip!

"One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" springs to mind! General public really have no idea what goes on in these places. However Op is moaning that she is missing her boyfriend!!!! (Rant over, I will stop now)

I always think that it must be quite limiting and sad to think like @callmeadoctor that one can only few sympathy for those in the worst iteration of a crap situation, rather than having the empathy to recognise that other people’s situations, while not utterly desperate, are still not great. I don’t find that my sympathy is a finite resource, to be closely guarded less it be wasted.

please ignore this other poster, clearly has no idea how much other people are struggling

Everyone is struggling, it doesn't mean it's ok to fly, even if you can work out how to do it.

If you actually feel like ending it because you can't fly out to your boyfriend, I respectfully suggest you need professional help, not an air ticket.

@PoppiesinOctober because this is MN where everyone has to have it worse than everyone else. It gets so tiresome.

@callmeadoctor OP never said she was in a worse position than people with family members in hospital. If anyone needs to “get a grip” it’s you as you seem to think no one else should be able to even suggest that they are miserable about their own personal situation unless half their family are dying in hospital beds. There is always someone worse off than us. That doesn’t mean that we are not able to share with others that we are struggling, in the search for some moral support. A problem shared is a problem halved... The OP made it perfectly clear on the title that her issue relates to foreign travel. If you don’t think it’s a problem or it’s not something that’s worthy of complaining about and you have nothing meaningful to add then you can stroll on by if you wish. Nobody made this a competition other than you.

@JassyRadlett

I always think that it must be quite limiting and sad to think like *@callmeadoctor* that one can only few sympathy for those in the worst iteration of a crap situation, rather than having the empathy to recognise that other people’s situations, while not utterly desperate, are still not great. I don’t find that my sympathy is a finite resource, to be closely guarded less it be wasted.

I agree, it has been limiting and sad to have a child in euro ward for nearly a year! I am pointing out to OP how lucky she is, how can that be wrong?

Neuro (damn spell check!!!!)

@OhCaptain

Actually it is unnecessary in your situation, no matter how tough it is.

I know it’s shit but there’s more at stake here than people seeing their boyfriends/girlfriends!

Hardly. You're being a t**t

[quote BritWifeinUSA]@PoppiesinOctober because this is MN where everyone has to have it worse than everyone else. It gets so tiresome.

@callmeadoctor OP never said she was in a worse position than people with family members in hospital. If anyone needs to “get a grip” it’s you as you seem to think no one else should be able to even suggest that they are miserable about their own personal situation unless half their family are dying in hospital beds. There is always someone worse off than us. That doesn’t mean that we are not able to share with others that we are struggling, in the search for some moral support. A problem shared is a problem halved... The OP made it perfectly clear on the title that her issue relates to foreign travel. If you don’t think it’s a problem or it’s not something that’s worthy of complaining about and you have nothing meaningful to add then you can stroll on by if you wish. Nobody made this a competition other than you.[/quote]
Erhhmm with respect the OP said she feels like "ending it all" . That would say to me she feels she is in a worst position than most. I am merely pointing out that there are people in a much worse position. That is my opinion.

I agree, it has been limiting and sad to have a child in euro ward for nearly a year! I am pointing out to OP how lucky she is, how can that be wrong?

But that's just patronising, and very unhelpful.

@OhCaptain The Irish abroad and from Northern Ireland have been allowed in the whole time so the previous poster wasn't breaking any rules by travelling in. You need to put pressure on your elected representatives if you think Ireland should close the borders.

“If you actually feel like ending it because you can't fly out to your boyfriend, I respectfully suggest you need professional help, not an air ticket.“

Wouldnt go that far but if 3 months apart is really negatively impacting your relationship, maybe you need to wonder why.
DH and are are in our 33rd year together, at least a third spent apart because of work. If you love someone, you love them and (if you’re equally committed), proximity is a non-issue. 3 months is nothing in a long term relationship.