Unintentional stay at home parent slowly losing the plot...

[Same4Walls]

During the last lockdown I officially crossed the boundary from maternity leave to being a stay at home parent. This wasn't planned, thanks to the virus I have no job to go back to.

We are now back into lockdown, although as we were in a tier 4 area we technically never left and I'm finding each day super long and monotonous.

I appreciate many would love to be able to stay at home but I'm finding it difficult and have absolutely no idea how you can be a stay at home parent to a 1 year old when everything but the park is closed.

We read books, sing songs, do household bits, go for walks and play with toys but the days are very hard to fill. What are other stay at home parents doing to fill their days. I need inspiration.

Oh I’m exactly the same. After my first baby I resigned as no option for flexible hours, had a second quite quickly and what would’ve been my maternity leave ended in the summer. Due to Covid my career prospects are looking pretty abysmal. We relocated too so doing what I did pre- babies is unlikely anyway.

So it’s back to me and two little ones at home everyday. DS was that much younger in March so was happy playing outside and didn’t really have that much concept of time to miss family, friends and nursery. He’s now 3.5 and just the last week where we’ve had to isolate has been hard- he’s been in tears over not seeing my parents and his friends.
He’ll also need a lot more ‘going on’ and the ‘baby’ isn’t really a baby now- more of an annoying little sister who likes to grab everything he has.
We’re lucky to have lots of outdoor space where we live but it’s quite rural and isolated. With DH working constantly it’s going to feel very lonely.

I know people have it much worse off but I’m feeling quite sorry for myself today and really need to snap out. I can do this- it’s hopefully 7 weeks!

Have a look at the puddle suits support threads in Chat. You really are not alone.

I drifted into being a SAHM to school age children as it turns out that my oldest has ASD and can't handle childcare. I like being busy, and filled that gap with lots of voluntary activities. My life has felt vacuous since March and I feel severed off from my normal communities.
Obviously different to the relentless demands of keeping a toddler alive and well!

I know people have it much worse off but I’m feeling quite sorry for myself today and really need to snap out.

That's partly why I wondered why I should post. I appreciate many people would love to be able to stay at home with their children but when there's hardly anything to fill the days it can drag and it does indeed get lonely.

Have a look at the puddle suits support threads in Chat. You really are not alone.

A great suggestion. I've ventured onto them on and off over the psst few months. Ive had some good ideas but unfortunately loads of the fab ideas are a little old for him. He's sort of at that very annoying age of not being a baby and not quite a toddler. So most of the baby stuff is too young for him and the toddler stuff too advanced.

I already feel I’ve failed them today- the house is a post Christmas disaster zone so I’m trying to blitz that!

Just want to shout one big ‘f* off’ to a whats app group I have where they’re actually going to ‘use this time positively’ and enjoy crafting, baking and other such activities with their one 1 year old, things that literally fry my brain....

I need to get back to work. I need to get through these next few hours, days and weeks. Getting through it without my two killing themselves squabbling and without me wanting to reach for the wine at noon!! Agggghhh

I already feel I’ve failed them today

You haven't failed them but I completely understand that mindset. Sometimes after DS has gone to bed I think, well today was shit because we didn't really do anything. I appreciate he doesn't care still but it certainly doesn't help my mood.

where they’re actually going to ‘use this time positively’ and enjoy crafting, baking and other such activities with their one 1 year old, things that literally fry my brain....

See I don't mind those sort of activities but I would be doing them for my sake not his. My 1 year old doesn't give a shiny shit about baking, craft activities etc and he still has the attention span of a goldfish.

I'm with you, I don't need some Instagram worthy making memories rubbish. I just need something other than the same isolating monotonous daily crap, repeative walks and pushing him on the swing for the millionth time.

Well thats DS tucker up in bed and thus ends another boring day. Even 2 walks to different parks didn't seem to break up the monotony.

I'm genuinely going to mad with boredom if this continues until Easter. I really could do with some new ideas, am at such a loss to what else everyone does to fill the days?

Sympathies, it is tough! Does he nap? If so you could learn a new skill/do something fun during that time? I'm trying to improve my sewing skills to make myself some lovely clothes, lots of tutorials online. I need to do something outside every day too. I'm planning on growing lots of seeds this spring as there is nothing more cheering than little bits of green shooting up. Basically find something (not on a screen!) that you can really get into when baby is asleep so you don't go nuts! Despite all this I'll probably lose the plot too.. I'm finding a very strict routine gets us through the days, walk, bit of a play while I do some drudgery, lunch, nap, story and a bit more play before tea sort of a pattern. Good luck.

No real help but just saying I know how you feel completely. I am on my own with a 7 month boy all day who screams as soon as I leave the room and gets bored so easily. I have cried and sobbed most of the day about how lonely I am and how difficult it will be for me for at least the next few months , feeling sorry for myself too😢

Check out YouTube videos of how to entertain a 1 year old , there will be loads of stuff. Thank your lucky stars you don't have to home school primary or secondary age kids as well as look after a toddler!

Sympathies, it is tough! Does he nap?

No he is terrible at napping. I'm lucky if I get an hour across the whole day. Normally he sleeps for about 15 minutes tops so just enough time for a wee and a speedy cuppa. Otherwise learning something new would have been a great plan.

No real help but just saying I know how you feel completely.

Sending sympathy. It's a shitty situation all round but sometimes it's nice to know yoy are not alone.

Check out YouTube videos of how to entertain a 1 year old , there will be loads of stuff.

It's not so much activities to amuse him, a basket of toys and some books will keep him content for a few minutes, which is fine given his level of concentration.

I was more looking for ideas on me not going completely mad with boredom.

In normal times a stay at home parent would've been able to go for a look around the shops, go for a coffee with friends, attend baby groups etc. Now everything is closed and there's nowhere to go my days feel long and monotonous. Hence wondering what other stay at home parents were doing to fill their days.

Try your local library website for online Rhymetime and Storytime. If you know other parents you can meet one to one for walks in the park.

@LIZS

Try your local library website for online Rhymetime and Storytime. If you know other parents you can meet one to one for walks in the park.

Sadly there are only a handful of online groups around here and most seem to be things like listening to someone read a story aloud. So not much use for a fidgety 1 year old and no actual interaction for the parents which is a shame.

I do have one mum friend but sadly she went back to work several months ago and her little one is in nursery so it's not possible to meet up in the week.

Ive tried chatting to parents at the park if I bump into any with similar aged children but quite often they only engage in minimal small talk and mostly they are with a friend so have no need for company.

Just wanted to add a quick thank you to all those who have offered support and ideas so far.