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Original poster

Working, 2 primary kids - does anyone have a workable strategy?

29 replies

MrPickles73 · 05/01/2021 07:17

I work full-time and am the main earner in our family. There's no part-time option and we have a project deadline at the end of Jan. 1st day back to work yesterday and my boss read the riot act - there will be no extensions etc. It's a really good job and the sector's having a bad time so there's no option to find another job.
DH has ill health retirement so us at home all day but not able to do home schooling. We tried it last time he gets v stressed and it is miserable for the kids. There was total melt down on day 1 last time and I had to take over home schooling. We have 2 primary aged children.
Given my deadline I cannot do the homeschooling this time.
How are people planning to survive. Should I try to find a nanny to help with the home schooling? I think you can have people eg cleaners working in your home. Has anyone else got a how schooling nanny / tutor? We don't have any relatives living near us.

OP posts:
Doje · 05/01/2021 07:21

A friend of mine had her mum teach via Zoom - is that possible for a bit?

The schools will offer much more support this time too. How old are your kids?

beckypv · 05/01/2021 07:25

Don’t worry too much about the home schooling. Is your partner still able to supervise them during the day? Honestly, at primary age, if they miss 6 weeks of school they will catch up. A settled home is number one priority. I think parents stress too much about home schooling in primary age.

SansaSnark · 05/01/2021 07:27

Could your DH supervise your kids if you ditched the home schooling to a greater or lesser extent?

Otherwise, I think you would be able to employ a nanny, but obviously you will not be able to find one to start today?

Finally2021 · 05/01/2021 07:30

If your DH is truly unable to educate his own children (did he try for more than half a day?) he should be the one to find an alternative.

How old are the children? Infants or year 5/6? If very young he could just read to them and let everything else slide.

If they are older they should be able to do more independent work.

Chocolateteabag · 05/01/2021 07:30

I would opt for a nanny - as you have DH in the house you have a little more flexibility on who you get?

Or zoom sessions with a relation?

Rainallnight · 05/01/2021 07:33

How bad is your DH’s health exactly? He should at least be able to supervise the kids even if he can’t (?) homeschool. As a PP has said, it’s not the end of the world if a kid in primary loses some schooling.

Puffler · 05/01/2021 07:35

Similar situation with reception and year 3 children, and a massive work project due this month. I work full time. Over full time to be honest! DH also works full time. I just don’t know what we will do. Last time was awful but I was able to drop some hours and have a three hour lunch. I can’t do that this time and aside from the work it is a financial hit too.

I think there won’t be much home schooling. We just can’t do it.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/01/2021 07:36

He just does childcare and you do work.

Saturday and Sunday can become schoolwork days.

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/01/2021 07:38

I think it’s a bit unrealistic to say don’t worry about as it’s six week after 3 months. I didn’t worry too much first time round - my children have additional support needs and I didn’t know how to teach them and got no support from the school. Since then I’ve had a specialist tutor working with them online so I have strategies that I know work so will be working with them so they don’t fall even further behind.

OP would tutoring be worth looking at - even an hour a week? My two do two half hour sessions one focussed on literacy and the other on numeracy. The tutor showed me how to work with them and set 10 mins homework 3 times a week (very interactive so not onerous). Would your DH be able to manage that just to keep them up to speed?

I’ll be using the tutors approach as the basis for homeschooling - just an hour a day each but they both have thrived on that approach. The key for us is not trying to work with both kids at the same time. Decent 1:1 time and attention goes a long way and you’re not also trying to get both to focus at the same time.

BilboBercow · 05/01/2021 07:45

It sounds like your DH makes a fantastic contribution to family life.

Charlie63849 · 05/01/2021 07:46

We tried it last time he gets v stressed and it is miserable for the kids

Ummm how about he sorts himself out and doesn’t be a miserable bastard for his kids. You have a parent at home so it’s pretty simple that you work and he home schools the kids.

frizzyandfrazzled · 05/01/2021 07:48

I wouldn't school tbh. If the kids can do a bit every evening (like homework) that would be enough for me. You are human and need to work to survive.

Bitbusyattheminute · 05/01/2021 07:50

Is he really not able or just doesn't want to?

I'm live teaching all day, so really won't be able to help my primary age kids. Or even intervene if they start arguing etc. They're going to have to just do what they can. When dh is on his half days, he'll have to take over. I'm a horrible, horrible home school teacher, so I suspect the kids will need happier this way.

Oneweekleft · 05/01/2021 07:52

I can imagine your stress OP. I agree that tutoring online could be a good option. Or my 7 year old did alot of oak academy videos last time where there is actually a video of a teacher. Your dh could supervise them watching those videos. The teacher will give instructions. Going forward as a long term thing it might be worth having a talk with your DH and try and find a way he can manage the home schooling. Every parent struggles and feels stressed about it apart from perhaps parents who are trained teachers. Is there some way of easing your dh into home schooling like letting him do some activities he likes with the kids. Can he play board games? Play an instrument? Bake? If he has something like this he likes to do he could at least start with just doing this and then later you can work in some other things. For the first few days you could simply aim for 15 mins of maths and English with each child. That's only an hour.

SatyajitRayFan · 05/01/2021 07:54

If you can afford it for 6 weeks, you should be arranging for a nanny.

CokeAndPepsi · 05/01/2021 07:57

OP said her partner was retired due to ill health. He could be disabled, in severe pain or unable to manage his own mental health. He could also be a lazy git pulling the “learned helplessness” trick like every other husband who just can’t manage to soothe a baby or put on a diaper correctly. But we don’t know the circumstances so why not give OP the benefit of the doubt as if that would ever happen on Mumsnet .

PinkPlantCase · 05/01/2021 08:02

Your DH needs to be the on worrying about this. You are working to support your family.

He needs to step up whether it’s by doing more himself or finding alternative provision. This is hard for everyone, ill health or not he needs to support you. No good will come from you being frazzled and getting ill yourself.

Athinginitself · 05/01/2021 08:04

@BilboBercow

It sounds like your DH makes a fantastic contribution to family life.
That's very harsh. It sounds like he could be quite unwell or disabled. It can happen to any of us at any time..I learnt that the hard way.
Burnthurst187 · 05/01/2021 08:07

Somebody at my work was put on furlough when nursery and schools closed last time for childcare reasons. Isn't that one of the reasons for having furlough?

ViewsAreMine · 05/01/2021 08:09

Would you consider apps? I'm using reading eggs ( no affiliation with the software manufacturers) for both maths and English. They're both good.
I'm not a fan of using screens at all but if it'll mean they learn something, whilst you're working, then go for it.

I'm in a somewhat similar position (bar the boss) to you so can understand to some extent. Hope you and your loved ones fare well. This cannot be easy.

Mousehole10 · 05/01/2021 08:10

Sorry but your DH needs to step up and do the homeschooling this time. You’re working full time so can’t do it and he’s not working.

Mousehole10 · 05/01/2021 08:11

@Burnthurst187

Somebody at my work was put on furlough when nursery and schools closed last time for childcare reasons. Isn't that one of the reasons for having furlough?
You can request it but it doesn’t have to be granted. And the OP has childcare, their DH is at home all day.
Martinisarebetterdirty · 05/01/2021 08:17

We both work full time, I’ve started them homeschooling at 8 this morning whilst I have a coffee so if the software doesn’t work I can help out before I have to start work. They will do google classroom if it is set, or I have carol vorderman’s maths and handwriting books if they run out. We are aiming to finish at 12 then they will be feral until 3 when the nanny takes them for 3 hours. They are around y3 so can do what they are set alone with me next to them- it’s still shit though!

notdaddycool · 05/01/2021 08:25

We found apps, worksheets and rewards charts for independent work worked well last time.

SabrinaTheMiddleAgedBitch · 05/01/2021 08:31

I think it depends on just how much your partners ill health impacts on his ability to home school the children? Is there a valid reason? Because if not he would be getting short shrift from me.