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Original poster

Wish my mental health was stronger

19 replies

musicalfrog · 04/01/2021 11:09

I know it could be worse. I understand why my school has closed at the last moment.

Today is an inset day anyway but already I can feel myself withdrawing from my children, ignoring the housework, losing hope. I spent last night in tears and I feel completely zapped today.

Why can't I deal with this better like I know so many other people are?

OP posts:
LemonTT · 04/01/2021 11:15

To be honest OP this is not board that offers good advice on managing MH. In fact almost all the discuss is detrimental to good mental health.

MN does have a board that supports mental health issues and there are other places to seek online help. I would go there because this thread will likely end in an argument about one aspect of COVID or the other.

bingandflop · 04/01/2021 11:16

Same here. I have a 9 year old an 8 year old and a baby. Cannot see how I am going to homeschool with a baby in tow and I'm feeling pretty depressed

TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 04/01/2021 11:19

OP lots and lots of people aren't dealing with this, they're also struggling so much so you definitely aren't alone. And really you're having a very understandable reaction to a massive, ongoing stress.

Right now you need to be extremely kind to yourself. Just surviving this is the priority. I'd say housework doesn't matter (and it doesn't) but actually I think it's one of those little things you can do that actually makes you feel like you are coping better. Have you ever done Marie Kondo or Flylady? There are some supportive communities on FB where people will help you break down the housework and keep on top of it in small chunks. And standing looking at a clean home does make everything feel more bearable. Things like putting a tiny bit of make up on can make all the difference too.

Just do things a day at a time. Reward yourself for achieving small things. I bought a milk frother as I missed coffees in nice cafes and now if I achieve something in the morning I make myself a hot drink. I'm watching a lot of comfort tv too and reading some favourite books.

And if you need to have a cry, you need a cry. It's ok to be struggling. Things are going to get better, we just have to hang on in there together. And keep talking about things with people (or on here) because that helps too)

EngineeringFix · 04/01/2021 11:21

You are not alone.Flowers

MrsJonesAndMe · 04/01/2021 12:04

You are most definitely not alone.

I take a multi vit with D, bought a SAD lamp and have a count down running to the start of spring. I'm literally gritting my teeth. I've not ruled out ringing for Anti depressants, but when would I have a chance for a conversation in private? Maybe Feb half term!

Augustlou30 · 04/01/2021 13:11

Can anyone suggest any good forums for people battling depression (especially withdrawing from people even your own children). :(

LacyEdge · 04/01/2021 13:13

Flowers Hang in there OP. It’s shit but it’s going to get better, truly. You’re not alone.

majesticallyawkward · 04/01/2021 13:19

You're not alone OP, or anyone else struggling. I'd recommend posting on the mental health board for support, this board isn't supportive of good mental health.

My DCs school hasn't said anything yet so I have no idea whether they open tomorrow or not. I can already feel myself sinking again, I can't face it again. I feel sick and hopeless, I was doing ok for a while there but now knowing that we're approaching a year and restrictions are getting tighter imminently is too much. I'm not even that bothered about Covid anymore, everything else has overtaken it and there is no relief in sight. I can feel myself withdrawing from everyone and I hate that when I hear my dc wake up I feel sinking dread, I barely have the energy to play with them nevermind do housework or cook good meals (not that the dc mind, they'd eat cereal for every meal happily).

But we aren't allowed to say that without being shouted down about being selfish, which is ironic given the people doing the shouting generally have a self centred agenda and are dismissing genuine concerns.

Original poster
musicalfrog · 04/01/2021 13:41

Thank you everyone for being so kind and I have to admit it is a comfort to know others are feeling the same, although of course I wish none of us did. Flowers

As I'm sure you all are too, I am blessed with gorgeous children and need to remind myself regularly how lucky I am in the big picture and that this is not forever.

I actually would rather not even attempt home learning and have them repeat a year. I think the worst part for me is that they won't learn as well from home (or at all in some cases, if last year was anything to go by). Sad

OP posts:
EngineeringFix · 04/01/2021 14:58

You can think about education in its broadest form. Depends on their ages and temperaments of both adult and child.

Above all be aware you are not alone in that instinct to withdraw. And be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend who confided this to you.

I second Flylady type stuff as a practical step for the home.

Original poster
musicalfrog · 04/01/2021 19:04

The withdrawing feeling is an odd one. I never knew it existed until it happened to me. Poor kiddies. Love them so much.

OP posts:
Oneweekleft · 04/01/2021 20:08

I think you need to think of it in a practical way. I am the same in that basically I don't want to home school my 3 boys - one being a toddler in a small space. But I need strategies to get through this time. It's not going to be perfect and it's not going to be as good as a real school but I'm sure you can teach them something. You must have been to school yourself. So just try. I think part of your problem is you have a fear that your kids will fail if they are home schooled. You are scared they will get behind. You need to realise that we don't have a choice now and need to do what we can. Most of us are not teachers and some are even working from home and trying to home school as well so no one will have it easy. What I suggest is you make some kind of schedule or even if you can say to yourself tomorrow I will do 2 half an hour bursts of learning with your oldest children. (2 each). So in your day that is only 2 hours of your full attention. If they don't learn in those two hours just let it go but for those 2 hours you try your hardest to act as if it is yiur job to be their teacher and do some work with them. The rest of the day they could watch some educational videos, do Lego, read, play games. Limit screen time to half an hour in morning and half an hour in the afternoon. Try and take them to the park once a day. Start like this and you can eventually start to increase your time you actively spend with them. Your school should provide you some stuff to help them with but the most important thing is you let go of the fear and let go of your focus on the outcome of your efforts. You owe it to them to try and I believe as your their.motjer you can help them more than you think xx

Oneweekleft · 04/01/2021 20:12

Sorry mixed up your op with another post about 2 kids and a baby !

Original poster
musicalfrog · 04/01/2021 23:22

That's OK @Oneweekleft they are still useful tips for sure!

OP posts:
Quaagars · 04/01/2021 23:42

@LemonTT

To be honest OP this is not board that offers good advice on managing MH. In fact almost all the discuss is detrimental to good mental health.

MN does have a board that supports mental health issues and there are other places to seek online help. I would go there because this thread will likely end in an argument about one aspect of COVID or the other.

Completely agree with this also, Flowers Definitely try the mental health board, you'll get much more support there - this board is not the place really as it's all people upset and not in a good place themselves, and the saying misery loves company applies on these threads. Most of us are struggling on some level Flowers
MrsJonesAndMe · 05/01/2021 15:59

How has today gone @musicalfrog?

We've been for a freezing walk, done a little bit of school work, everyone is fed and in one piece and I have chocolate in the fridge for after bed time

Original poster
musicalfrog · 05/01/2021 17:58

Bit stressful tbh. OH was home to help as well. Eldest was good with home learning, youngest not so. Too chilly to go out Sad

Thank you for asking. Wine is open.

OP posts:
MrsJonesAndMe · 05/01/2021 18:53

cheers

Lemonpiano · 05/01/2021 18:56

Mind have an online community:

sidebyside.mind.org.uk/

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