Can you request furlough? I could cry

[Cantstopwontstopeating]

Hi,

I’m not sure if this has been asked so apologies if it has. But can you request furlough? I was furloughed last year for about 4 months when we were in proper lockdown- then worked from home. I know their is so many people in this situation and a lot of people worse off but I just can’t manage working from home and parenting at the same time.
I just say managed the first time as it was quite new for us both (4yo) but he’s had to isolate twice since September and each time has been a nightmare. My job requires me to be on zoom meetings/calls most of the day and my son is too young to understand. He is ok playing on his own for an hour or so,’il set him little tasks etc but then soon wants my full attention.

He is an only child and I am a single parent with nobody else to help me. He’s finding it hard anyways and being overly clingy with everything what’s going on. The last time in November when he isolated my manager gave me a warning about how my standard of work was slipping and could I lock myself in a different room. I know il not be able to do my job properly and then there is the homeschooling - his school are setting activities what need to be completed everyday then sent back.

So my question is can I request to be furloughed again now his school has shut. I am literally sitting here crying, I’m just so done with this shit and the constant anxiety of it all. I am so sorry for the pity party I’m just really feeling it at the moment.

I’m in a similar situation as a lone parent. My family cannot help as they are key workers
or elderly.
In the last lockdown I just put my job first (it’s my only income) and left my child to watch tv all day. I worked evenings and weekends to make time up and did school work with her at the weekend.
I realised then why screen time is not good for children. Her behaviour deteriorated and also me being in the house but ignoring her to work was hard for her.
I’m dreading it. I’m pubic sector so can’t ask to be furloughed and I need to keep my job.

Working in another room didn’t work so in the end I resorted to her being on iPad with headphones/ watching tv with headphones . I didn’t feel I had any other option.

Sounds awful poor you.
Is it worth having a word with the head teacher at all as you are a single parent?
Another thought is there a uni student who could earn a bit of cash taking him out for a bit.
My dd is not back till the 25th and doing some online learning but shed be great at something like that.

I am not much of a tv person but I subscribed to Netflix and chose lots of programmes aimed at the under 5s - so they come up when she is on the iPad. I found this much better than YouTube which has adverts/ less control over what they watch.

This is really tough and I agree that it's not really viable to work full time while looking after a 4 year old as a single parent. As others have said, your employer could agree to furlough you because you have childcare responsibilities due to covid but they don't have to agree to this.

If they won't I would second sharing childcare with another family if possible - there must be lots of families in this position and they might be pleased for their own child to have some company - or looking at childminders if you can afford it (plus possibly negotiating to do fewer hours with your work if, say, you can only get a few hours of childcare a day). Or could you find a local student or similar to act as a sort of mother's help / nanny for a few hours a day? You would be there if anything went wrong so they would only need to be someone sensible who was willing to play with your DS in another room and shouldn't be anything like as expensive as a qualified nanny.

Again if you can afford it, your employer might agree to you taking a few weeks of unpaid parental leave if they won't furlough you. You are entitled to take 18 weeks' per child before their 18th birthday but your employer doesn't necessarily need to agree to you taking it on specific dates.

Pjone your child's school/nursery and explain the situation and how you are feeling. They may be able, depending on numbers to help even just a few days a week. There will be a solution please don't panic too much, I understand how worried you must feel. Schools do try and help, I promise.

Btw. I left my job a month ago after 23yrs as they were so bloody unfair during lockdown. I have a 9yr old who was fairly easy but they occasionally heard her speak and queried my practice.

I think asking the school if they can help even if it’s just 1 day a week.
Are you able to work flexible hours? I find getting them out for some fresh air and exercise is really helpful in f you could take an hours lunchbreak

@Lemons1571

Bloody hell. Your manager has suggested that you lock yourself in a different room to your 4 year old leaving him unattended while you work.

Speechless. What the fuck is happening to this country.

^^ this. So sorry OP. Can you talk to HR about this rather than your manager who sounds like a twat?

Sounds very tricky for you and I sympathise. You certainly could asked to be furloughed, but, as others have said, work could refuse. A better option might be to provide work with an alternative option of part furlough or flexible working.

Is your job role flexible in terms of hours? Could you formulate a plan to present to work where you still cover the same work hours, just at different times? Say, 1-2hrs before your son awakes, 3hrs during the week day and the rest after he goes to bed? Or ask your mum to mind him on a weekend day, and you work that day instead? Would this be possible?

Or, as others have said, ask HR if they can help.

You can request furlough, but there is no obligation on your employer to say yes so long as they treat requests in a non-discriminatory manner.

If your role is publicly funded your employer may not be able to furlough you.

Your employer is allowed to furlough you because of your childcare difficulties - an employer does not have to prove a downturn in work or workplace closure in order to claim furlough pay from the government.

Regrettably however, is they need you to do the work, they don't have to say yes to your request.

Definitely tell your son's school you don't be doing the work - that is one stress factor you don't need and can get rid of! It won't affect him at his age, and your work and MH is far more important.

Agree it might be worth speaking to them to see if they could bend the rules to let him attend - but I suspect they wouldn't risk opening the floodgates.

You can ask you work about furlough but it's probably not an option. Could you work flexibly in the evenings and at weekends - or do you need to attend these meetings during normal working hours? Could you do a mixture?

I feel for you and sympathise - my DCs are at secondary so while not ideal, things are far easier. I hope you work something out.

won't, not don't.....

I have a 4 year-old. I am shocked that you employer suggested you lock yourself in another room to stop him disturbing your work. As others have said, can you speak to HR about your manager? That is simply unacceptable.

During the first lockdown we paid someone from my son’s closed preschool to mind him when we worked. Is paid childcare an option at all for you?

What sort of work do you do where a manager is so preoccupied with standards “slipping” at a time like this? I work client facing in an area that requires precision but nobody has been anything less than understanding or supportive towards colleagues juggling childcare and work.

Oh and sod the home learning. It’s not even compulsory for him to be in school until he is 5.

@Ledkr

Sounds awful poor you. Is it worth having a word with the head teacher at all as you are a single parent? Another thought is there a uni student who could earn a bit of cash taking him out for a bit. My dd is not back till the 25th and doing some online learning but shed be great at something like that.

I was about to suggest this. DS is year 12 and back in March he obviously left school with little to do. A few of his friends managed to get jobs working with families helping with taking the children out for walks, or home schooling

Honestly at 4 I wouldn’t worry about school. Just do what you need to get through. In other European countries children don’t start school until much later. I’d try and do basics like reading to him, some counting games etc where you can. Having a mum not at breaking point will be much better for your child then school work.

During the first lockdown I emailed the school and said my child wasn’t engaging with the work they were setting so we would be doing our own thing, they were absolutely fine with it.

Totally agree... several of my DC friends finished A levels last year or repeated this autumn and are doing several sessions a week looking after school aged children. They're keen and fun and if you are in the house they've got someone to check things out with if something's beyond their experience.

Yes, the official government guidance says If you meet the eligibility criteria, you can be furloughed if you’re unable to work (including from home) due to caring responsibilities because of coronavirus, such as caring for children at home because of closed schools and childcare facilities or caring for a vulnerable person in the household. This was recently updated.

There is more information, including a link to the latest guidance here:
workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/coronavirus-furlough/

However, I would also have a word with the class teacher or head teacher if you are struggling. I spoke to my Head about specific parents from my class that I could tell were really finding it hard during the last lockdown and we were able to find at least a part-time place in school for the children as the children fit the vulnerable criteria if we are concerned about the parent's mental well-being.

I'm in a similar situation to you OP and unfortunately have relied on giving my 5 year old son headphones and letting him watch YouTube for Kids on my phone which he knows how to use, also pop some toys down and a snack and it does work for a while.

This is just ridiculous. Can no-one see the utter absurdity in expecting people to complete a full days work AND care for AND school young children at the same time? The acceptance of this illogicity is quite frankly ludicrous. People really have lost their minds.

I’m a teacher so can’t request furlough. We have taught live to timetable from the start of March’s lockdown. I have 2 primary DC. Or going to lie, it was awful but we managed and will again. (Could get a keyworker place but no wraparound so couldn’t accept it). We have the DC a strict timetable. School work between 6-7 am and 5-6pm. When I was teaching I learned to lower expectations and they played on their tablets all day. When it was my lunch time I asked for devices off and we ate lunch together. I basically ignored them during the rest of the time though, they survived, I survived and that’s the important thing.

A lot of people at the school aren’t taking this seriously- each to their own, I am not judging at all

I bloody am!!! How else do you think we got to the situation of school closures again if it wasn’t that people aren’t taking it seriously!?

@motherrunner But how does it work if the children have live lessons themselves?

[quote BunsyGirl]@motherrunner But how does it work if the children have live lessons themselves?[/quote]
We only have one laptop but my children are primary so were set worksheets etc.

At my school is pupils didn’t have an Internet enabled device then they were loaned a laptop or given a place at school to use the IT facilities. If that didn’t work then work packs were sent home. We also record our lesson as we’re teaching live so they can be watched at another time.

As an employer I am very sympathetic to employees with children who are not at school
But
We are very busy
I need all staff in and working to keep the business going or everyone will lose their job (including me)
Also I can't continually ask staff without kids to cover
Have noticed increasing reluctance for staff to do this
Some staff don't seem to want to look for a compromise,it's all 'DC are off school so I can't come in "

Can’t believe there are some people offering the employers perspective. A) who cares- doesn’t solve OPs problem B) he told her to lock herself in a different room and abandon her 4 year old 😱😱.
You have all my sympathies OP, sounds completely unmanageable. Definitely, definitely ask for furlough as first option. If they won’t do that, I would think about going to GP and getting myself signed off sick. Unfortunately the latter is bound to upset your employer, but it might be the only thing you can do xx