Covid Fake News Friends - WWYD

[ProfMcGonigle]

DH and I are good friends with another couple (DH’s school friend and his wife - we have all been married for approx 20 years and good friends since before then). We generally see each other all together every few months and the men and the wife and I see each other separately regularly between times. we all get on really well.

Bearing in mind we don’t really see each other at the moment because of lockdown etc, we are really only in touch via text and Facebook. We are located in an area where restrictions have fluctuated so we have seen them from time to time but not much at all over this past year.

When we have seen them, they have both been quite vocal about how ‘ridiculous’ the restrictions are, how ‘unnecessary’ they are, how they don't care about social distancing, etc. At first, we would nod along - restrictions are frustrating to all of us, after all.

Recently,however, they are Facebook-posting conspiracy theory videos and ‘proof’ that the government are lying to us about covid: it doesn’t exist, people aren’t really dying, hospitals aren’t really overloaded.

We haven’t discussed this in person as we haven’t really seen them during the time their posts have become more and more extreme. I am now finding these really frustrating and upsetting. Luckily, no one close to me has died of covid but more and more friends are losing loved ones or are suffering terribly because of it.

I think our lack of face to face contact isn’t helping how I am beginning to feel about them. If we could see each other, most of our time together would be chatting, laughing, etc and only some of it would be this fake news. Right now, all I am hearing from them are these messages and ‘proof’. I’m getting really angry about it! I am considering telling them both to fuck off entirely which I’m sure, in time, I’d regret.

What would YOU do?

This is where the “mute this person” button on Facebook comes in handy.

Mute or unfollow. However, I've found it does really open your eyes about the thought processes of other people and whether you could ever have the same kind of relationship in the future.

I agree and am tempted to unfollow them but do I really want to be friends with people like this?

When this is all over, can I forget this part of them or will I always remember them as the 'covid deniers'?

Should I just shut up and not rock the boat or call them out on their offensive views? Maybe I should wind my neck in as they're not offensive to all. We are all entitled to our opinion after all?

I'd just accept that this is the way they are dealing with it OP, lots of people can't accept how awful it is and choose to deny it.
So, just ignore this stuff and focus on anything else you have in common.
Then when the world returns to 'normal' - re-evaluate how you feel about them then.
So, just put them on pause for now.

I would just mute or snooze . I do that with someone I know . I like him as a person but he drives me mad sometimes with his crazy opinions. I find snoozing him for 30 days calms me down .

Try to make up conspiracies that are even more ridiculous than their's.

The early grumbling I would’ve just tolerated. The conspiracy stuff would mean I’d slowly start to distance myself. Mute on Facebook and only respond to other messages if they contact you. This is a friendship I might let wither on the vine.

I think we might need to Blue. Certainly for now anyway

No advice but in the exact same position. Our friends invited us to their new year party along with 19 others and were quite annoyed when we said no - despite my son being on the shielding list and we were tier 4.
She said some very patronising things about how I need to switch off the news and get on with my life like everyone else is starting to realise.
It's really made things feel awkward.

I'm having a break from fb because otherwise I'll have no friends left.

MrsMiaWallace I am with you there! I don't use fb much in 'real life' but as we have no social life right now, I'm using it more to keep connected.

I feel like cancelling it but I'm sure I'll regret it in the current circumstances

What makes you think your opinion is the right opinion though OP?

We all have a right to be right and there’s hundreds of different perspectives and view points about what’s going on.
If that’s their belief and it’s not yours, then fine, just leave them to it. It’s not like they’re trying to force their opinions on you.

Conspiracy theories are the new religion.

People who wouldn't be seen dead believing in a God that causes everything to happen in the world and which they have no proof for, will happily instead believe in an unseen group of humans with secret powers that is conspiring to change the world.

And just like a religious fanatic, you cannot argue with them using logic and facts, because it is a deeply, DEEPLY held belief system.

And further, just like a religious fanatic, they believe that they are 'special' and 'chosen' because they can See the Truth and everyone else is blind.

I would cut all contact. They probably won't mind because feeling special will give them the warm fuzzies rather than anything real like friendship. Your only value to them will be as possible converts to the Church of CT.

Namechanged You are right of course that we are all entitled to an opinion, however, when your friend's opinion is the polar opposite of yours, if their opinion is based on inaccurate information that cannot be verified, if it puts other people in danger and goes against everything you believe (and it's all that you hear from that person) should there be a relationship at all?

If it was me I would block them on all social media and never talk to them again. I wouldn't bother trying to reason with them because you can't when people are that far down the rabbit hole. You might want to say why you are blocking them, but that's entirely up to you and may feed their feelings of "us against them".

I should add that I am zero tolerance of this sort of thing, so my views may be more extreme than others. I won't apologise for them though.

I have a friend who has rammed conspiracy theory crap down my throat for the last few months.
Even when I had a serious talk, said I don't believe in the mad ideas and came up with rational reasons why it got worse.
I now realise that this person does not give a shit about what I think, is only concerned with getting their point across and is frankly dangerous to go anywhere near.
I'm afraid it's finished the friendship off for me.

"@BornIn78

This is where the “mute this person” button on Facebook comes in handy.
"
This.. unfollow them for your peace of mind. Such ridiculous people exist everywhere n are really irritating when u see people suffering losing their lives or their loved ones.. hospitals are not faking numbers, its not in governments interest to keep paying people on furlough.. it boils my blood but for your own sanity unfollow them

Our friends in tier 4 lied about going abroad for business reasons. Some others are anti vaccine, think it’s all do with 5G, Bill Gates etc. I’m finding COVID is very divisive. I’m choosing to unfollow people who continually post opinions I don’t agree with on FB. I don’t feel it’s worth falling out with people over it, everyone is super stressed at the moment and we may think differently about certain things. I think I’d just go low contact whilst we’re in the thick of it.

I think for some people, it's like defense mechanism, they just can't face the truth and find solace in those misinformation.
Some people say it's mass psychosis, and I agree. Once it's all over, people may come back to reality.