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Original poster

Trying to make plans for possible nursery / primary school closure - help!

43 replies

SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:00

I'm going to change my user-name after this post as this is going to be necessarily quite identifying. But I really need to bounce this off someone other than my DH. I'm trying to think of a way to keep all the plates spinning if nursery and school close and would appreciate advice.

DH is a principal GP with zero job flexibility. Works approx 6 days per week at the moment and on work days leaves the house at 6am and returns around 8-9pm.

I am a full time academic, I direct a degree course and I have no deputy. I have about 6 hours of live teaching per week, as well as the need to pre-record around 4 hours of material. Alongside this I have pastoral commitments and a number of other roles. I have no deputy - if I don't do my job, nobody will teach or look after the students, they will complain and I will be fired. I can't take a sabbatical, unpaid leave or anything else - I am not allowed to do this.

I have 4 kids, 12, 10, 8 and 1. The 12, 10 and 8 year old will largely manage their own learning (8-year-old will need more support). 1-year-old obviously needs constant supervision.

I managed to juggle everything for 6 months in 2020 by working until 2 or 3 am each day and all of the days that DH was off, but that was when the 1-year-old wasn't mobile and my teaching commitments stopped around June so that made things better.

I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of trying to do everything and keeping everyone safe and happy again. Does anyone have any ideas or can you give me a slap and tell me to pull myself together?

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 03/01/2021 14:02

You’ll be entitled to a key worker space presumably?

Scottishgirl85 · 03/01/2021 14:06

I feel for you. Many, many of us are in the same position. We worked round the clock last time, literally. It was an utter nightmare homeschooling KS1 and watching a toddler. Employers need to be understanding of the situation. There must be a backup if you are sick, maternity etc?

Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:06

Thanks @GeorgieTheGorgeousGoatGeorgie - it depends whether they require one or two of the parents to be key workers I suppose. Last time it was two.

OP posts:
borageforager · 03/01/2021 14:07

Get a nanny...?

Wsdhgujn · 03/01/2021 14:08

Two things (both of which may not work)

  • key worker space some allow for one key worker (but some like ours say two)
  • childcare bubbble, you can have your one year old cared for by friends or relatives in a bubble if you have someone available to you.

The only other option is how much the twelve year old can take some time supervising the one year old to help you out a bit but I don’t think you can safely or fairly do that for long enough to make a difference!

Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:09

@Scottishgirl85 - in theory, yes, but in practice I have just had to catch up with missed work when off sick, and I essentially had to arrange my own maternity coverage by asking colleagues to take on small parts of my role. I also taught a lot whilst on mat leave with my youngest. I know in some institutions they would have just paid for maternity cover but not mine.

I am sorry but unsurprised that you and indeed so many of us are in the same, impossible boat. I'd guess most of us in this position, although not all, are women.

OP posts:
RoganJosh · 03/01/2021 14:10

She wouldn’t be here, it’s only if both parents are key workers. It’s just as if her OH works in a supermarket, etc.

What’s the deal with childcare at the moment? Would you want to try and arrange some? Is it allowed?

Can you lower your professional expectations at all? I would think it would be fine for you to make calls while walking child in buggy etc. You aren’t having to pretend you don’t have a child at this point.

Wsdhgujn · 03/01/2021 14:10

Oh and concentrate sorting the one year old, if the 8 year old is safe forget about homeschooling...you have enough on! But yes the one year old is your big problem!

RoganJosh · 03/01/2021 14:11

Sorry, that “she wouldn’t be here” was to answer the key worker space.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 03/01/2021 14:11

Have you got space for some live in help?
I appreciate that won’t happen overnight unless it’s someone that you know and trust.

Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:16

@borageforager - definitely a good idea. I think it depends whether nursery require us to keep paying fees despite closure - if they stop charging then we could afford it (although I feel guilty about making someone work in the current environment!) but if we still have to pay, I think it's beyond our wallets.

@Wsdhgujn - also good ideas, I may also talk to my employer about whether I am actually technically classed as a key worker as the government have ordered universities to stay open as usual - I expect they will say no though. I could also ask the school about a discretionary key worker place although I would feel guilty for it.

Family is a non-starter but I could definitely talk to friends. My parents are 300 miles away, late 60s and we see them about twice per year (not at all recently for obvious reasons).

The 12-year-old is required to be in online classes for most of the day but she and the 10-year-old could take the smallest over lunchtime, that's definitely true ...

OP posts:
Scottishgirl85 · 03/01/2021 14:16

If I were you I'd be looking for a new job. Those conditions sound awful!
Actually my husband and I shared the childcare equally. We both have very demanding, responsible jobs but both employers allowed flexibility. Your husband must have some flexibility surely? What if he was a single parent?

sproutsnbacon · 03/01/2021 14:19

Use this week if they go back to get organised for when they are off. I've already got my pinterest and paper list. I worked to a timetable with breaks and changes of activities which was good for my productivity and for keeping a little one busy. Cut back on everything else cooking, cleaning, laundry.
Get your 12 year old to mind the 1 year old whilst you are recording teaching.
My baby is just big enough to go on my back and then I work standing up.
I bribe my 3 year old.
Could a relative come and stay to do the childcare?
It is just really difficult. At least we know its coming and how difficult it is so it won't be as much of shock.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 03/01/2021 14:22

OP is in education and her DH is a GP- these are both in the key worker lists. I’ll see if I can find it.

Anothermother3 · 03/01/2021 14:27

Surely education would be KW status.

hedgehogger1 · 03/01/2021 14:29

Education workers and GPs both count as key workers though?

KinderWild · 03/01/2021 14:32

Just asked my husband (academic), he was given a letter by his institution saying he was a critical worker during the first lockdown.

Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:34

@Scottishgirl85 - yes, they aren't great conditions! Unfortunately there's 100s of unemployed PhDs out there so employers are definitely in the position of power. It took me 6 years of temp contracts to get this (prestigious) lectureship and I am so gutted that I might end up losing everything I've worked for. But equally understand that if I did, I wouldn't be the only one in that position.

DH is the sole partner at the practice. At the moment, his time is taken up organising the vaccinations (coming in next week - fingers crossed!) and working for the out of hours service at weekends. Staff sickness and isolation have meant that he's had to cover other people (even when he had COVID he ran phone triage from home until he got too ill to do so). I think that if I got ill, he would have to be at home but I can't see him doing so otherwise - he gets fined huge amounts of money (for understandable reasons) if the surgery cannot open to see patients as that is breach of contract. It's such a shit, shit situation.

@RoganJosh - if the 1-year-old's nursery stayed open then all my problems would be taken care of (selfish, I know) ... but they are super-cautious and shut at the end of last year for 2 days because a child was sent home with a cough and temp - only reopened with a negative test result - so I suspect they will close as soon as the primary schools do. I'd definitely be up for making calls out and about, the main problem is the live teaching of 200 students. I could cancel the live teaching but the students would understandably complain ...

@Muchtoomuchtodo - love your username! Live-in help would be amazing. We don't have a spare room though so suspect that no-one would want to live with us.

@sproutsnbacon - you're right, it's all about the to-do list and timetable. Will need to drag myself out of self-pity land first ;)

OP posts:
Sunnysausage · 03/01/2021 14:34

Surely you are a key worker?
“specialist education professionals who must remain active during the coronavirus (COVID-19) response to deliver this approach“
www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

borageforager · 03/01/2021 14:36

He’s sole partner with no salaried GPs? Or any chance he could ask a salaried Gp if they would take on an extra session or two? I understand the pressures though, my DH is also a GP partner.

Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:40

@georgie*@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat @KinderWild* @hedgehogger1 - ah, I might explore that with my employer then, thank you. If I didn't have to live-teach I think I could just about manage it.

Keeping fingers crossed that if I'm not eligible for a key worker place, it can't possibly be for 6 months this time, right? Fingers and toes crossed.

OP posts:
Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:46

@Sunnysausage - sorry, cross-posted, yes that's a good point. For some reason I didn't even look it up last time, I just assumed I wasn't...

@borageforager - he has salaried GPs working for him but most have young children themselves so I suspect if anything they may want to drop sessions if the schools in their areas close too. In addition, he's been quite gung ho about the fact that he 'knows' they'll get key worker places so doesn't really want to make a plan B ... that's the frustrating part, because he knows deep down that it won't affect his job so doesn't want to 'worry' about it...

Hope your DH is hanging in there. It's hard when this narrative about 'the GPs have been closed for months' is so pervasive - they really haven't but what they're doing is even less visible to the public than usual :(

OP posts:
Original poster
SchnitzelVonCrummsTum · 03/01/2021 14:47

Just wanted to say a general thank you as well. Having the sympathy and ideas of other people is really restorative and is helping me stop wallowing!

OP posts:
Sparkles715 · 03/01/2021 14:49

A university academic would not be classed as critical to the covid 19 response in my LA. There are so many families in difficult work-related situations but education is only on there to allow people who need to be in schools and nurseries to care for other critical worker children - not to enable over 18 education to take place. It’s the word critical rather than key that is important here. I am in no way suggesting some jobs are less important than others but the critical worker school places are for jobs critical to the response of Covid19. This is not higher education.