Planning ahead: lockdown, wfh and childcare

[BalconiWaferAddict]

Thinking ahead in case we do have another full lockdown - how did people with toddlers manage balancing work and young childcare?

I’m only just back so it’s not been a consideration before but now I’m back to work I’d like to have a vague plan for what if. Both our employers are super understanding and accommodating but obvs we don’t want to take the . Working solidly all evening isn’t an option as I’m recovering from PND and doctor has been insistent on the importance of downtime and DH has a phone-based job in customer service.

Currently we think our options are:

1. one takes the morning parenting shift, one takes the afternoon. Work fully on the ‘off shift’ we do what we can when we have the baby.
2. one of us requests furlough (lower earner) and takes on the childcare responsibilities.

Other options greatly appreciated!

Do you have informal family care options ..currently you can form a childcare bubble so if they keep that would it be an option for you (if you have willing family nearby)

You’re allowed one childcare bubble, do you have anyone who could help out even just a couple of days a week? I’m going back to work soon and going to use grandparents for a bit for childcare, just until things are a bit better.

I've been thinking about creating a childcare bubble with friends. I think this time it'll probably be allowed and if you're only bubbling with one other family should be pretty low risk with huge benefits.

@IloveJKRowling

I've been thinking about creating a childcare bubble with friends. I think this time it'll probably be allowed and if you're only bubbling with one other family should be pretty low risk with huge benefits.

That’s allowed. Your allowed one childcare bubble, it doesn’t specify it has to be with family. If you have a friend you can share childcare with then that sounds a sensible idea!

We split into two shifts - 6am - 12 & 12 - 8.30. I only work 30 hours per week, which made it doable. We did that from March until August (in Scotland, so that's when nursery reopened).

It was hard, and I don't think we can do it exactly the same again. I was going to bed as soon as the kids were asleep as I was up so early, and didn't get a second to myself the full week.

DH found it hard to be working late every night, and as he was busy it often went later than planned. I was jealous of that, as I was also busy, but had to finish bang on time so he could start, and was stressed as fuck about it.

No idea how to do it better.

I have a feeling that if there is a national lockdown just as before in March, childcare bubbles will not be allowed. They will have to opt for minimal contact including all childcare. If childminders are not allowed to operate, informal childcare arrangements will not be allowed.

I got up at 5 and went to bed at 12 every day to get my work done .It was shit

@Char2015

I have a feeling that if there is a national lockdown just as before in March, childcare bubbles will not be allowed. They will have to opt for minimal contact including all childcare. If childminders are not allowed to operate, informal childcare arrangements will not be allowed.

We will be using a childcare bubble even if it’s not allowed tbh. I can’t work with a baby under one at home with me but yet I have to work. There’s no other solution. It’s much safer to use grandparents when none of us are working out if the home then it is to send DC to a nursery where they mix with many other children, if they are even open.

Thanks for your replies! I’m working on worst case scenario so assuming informal childcare wouldn’t be allowed (baby is in nursery 3 days, with grandparents for 2).

DH’s job is only core hours 9-5 so he can’t work out of hours. I could but don’t think my team would impressed if all meetings were around that 😂

If one of you can get furloughed and you can afford it, do that.

We did shifts, but it didn’t work out as initially planned with long uninterrupted work stretches because we both had calls and meetings coming up in the other one’s time. Plus both of our employers started off with “just do what you can!” but in effect this meant cramming in as much work as possible at all hours just to keep afloat.

@BalconiWaferAddict for worst case, I’d still identify one back up childcare bubble if you have anyone who can do it. Furlough is risky unless you’re 100% certain your job is safe, and tag teaming is fine for a bit but with PND you might find it too hard to do indefinitely. Even if childcare bubbles aren’t officially allowed there will be many people keeping them anyway as lots don’t have a choice. For your situation it would be sensible to have that as back up just in case.

We split into two shifts 6am-12 & 12-8.30

I’m intrigued-what made you decide on two shifts of such different lengths?

I got up and 5 and/or went to bed at midnight, as another pp. My partner also works from home so was around, but is on calls all day. I did try not to burn the candle at both ends too many days in a row, as my work suffered and I made silly mistakes.

There is no time for housework or watching TV. If you're not actively parenting, you're working. I'm just having a break from trying to get the house as clean as possible now, as I know it will be ignored if we do go into lockdown again.

You can both ask your employers for temporary reduced hours (or part-time furlough, I don’t think it’s all or nothing now) which would allow you both some flex e.g. DH asks to work 4 days not 5, or asks for his hours temporarily to be 8-3, or to be furloughed 2x days a week. You do the same sort of negotiation with your employer.

@Letseatgrandma

We split into two shifts 6am-12 & 12-8.30

I’m intrigued-what made you decide on two shifts of such different lengths?

As I said, I only work 30 hours per week, where DH is full time.

@Letseatgrandma

We split into two shifts 6am-12 & 12-8.30

I’m intrigued-what made you decide on two shifts of such different lengths?

Also, I didn't take any breaks in the short shift (skip breakfast), where the longer one needs breaks for two meals, so not that much difference really.

My daughter watched a lot of tv! And ate a lot of snacks.

I had to work my normal hours so every time i had an important call i gave her a snack to keep her quiet 🤷‍♀️

OP, I’m worried too as I’m recovering from covid and still exhausted so staying up all hours working is really not going to be an option for me either. DH in the same boat. I have some big deadlines coming up and my job requires really intense concentration. I’m hoping we can get a key worker space in school if it comes to it, though only one of us is a key worker. For that reason, we didn’t take it up in the spring lockdown, feeling it would be wrong to do so, and I really struggled. I am trying my best not to worry and just take it one step at a time. Lots of people are in this situation, it’s very extreme circumstances and hopefully it won’t last long. Put your health and well-being first I guess and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. We are all just holding things together as best we can.

We're going to use a few different friends to help with childcare, I don't think we can make a bubble but then if they decide to close childcare we aren't left with much other option. He is definitely safer there but there we go.

In the first lockdown my toddler watched tv for 10 hours a day while I worked and I left him plates of snacks to keep him quiet. I can't do that again, it was awful.

Last lockdown I swapped from days to nights (supermarket) and dh stayed on his 9-5 shift. It fell to me to homeschool and I am also at uni (open uni) which didn’t stop. I found it extremely difficult and have already said I will not be able to do that again as it was just to much on me. Dh has said he will drop some hours of schools close again. I work 5am to 1pm wed-sat so we are planning on me being with kids mon/tues and homeschooling and doing uni work, dh will definitely be dropping to half days on the third/fri so can go in after lunch when I’ve finished. Just the wed to sort, we might both have to drop a couple of hours there. My uni scores really dropped for the assignments I did through the last lockdown, luckily I am only in my first year so it won’t count towards my final degree score and I just need 40% to pass but it’s not ideal to be hoping just to scrape a pass when your future career hangs on it

DD was 17 months in March, was fucking awful, she stopping napping reliably along with a night sleep regression. DP is a keyworker WFH so his stuff took priority and I lasted a few weeks before I was gratefully furloughed.

If it happens again I don't think I'd be furloughed, I'd have 1 day a week where DP does childcare and then I'd have to mostly do my hours after DD had gone to bed, spreading them across the week if needed and just talk to colleagues in the day. I work 24 hours a week so not loads but I need to focus and I can't at all with a toddler.

I'm pregnant and would be counting down the days till maternity leave tbh.

Oh or I'd work full days Saturday to Monday but that would only work on solo projects

@Char2015

I have a feeling that if there is a national lockdown just as before in March, childcare bubbles will not be allowed. They will have to opt for minimal contact including all childcare. If childminders are not allowed to operate, informal childcare arrangements will not be allowed.

Why do you think that, or are you just trying to scaremonger? People (and I include myself in that) will do it anyway regardless of whether it is ‘allowed’.

We did the shift thing last time but as another poster mentioned it didn't quite work out as calls/meetings got scheduled on the others shift. My work said they would be flexible but the expectation was that you could do more as you were at home and that I should be more available. I used AL to cover half terms and to get a break from work.
This time if I wasn't in qualifying period they use to calculate your maternity pay, I would be taking unpaid leave or seeking furlough. We don't have any family close by so informal childcare really isn't an option.
My son's primary is shut for at least the next two weeks and my plan is to take it 2 weeks at a time. And not think beyond that until I have to!

If childminders are not allowed to operate, informal childcare arrangements will not be allowed.

They’ll have to ‘allow’ or turn blind eyes, or do they want more situations like this occurring.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/12/01/baby-drowned-hot-tub-mother-working-home-inquest-hears/amp/