Refusing to send my child to school...

[StealthBoaster]

I know there are lots of threads about the rights and wrongs of opening schools on 4th January. I am in Tier 3 area so our schools are opening as per the general guidance. We are in a small rural village but one which attracts a lot of visitors and I am aware of a number of locals who have tested positive and at least one in hospital.

DS is primary aged. He is prone to chest infections and probably had Covid right at the beginning of March - it wasn't dangerous but it was a bit worrying as he got quite wheezy. I am inclined not to send him back for a number of reasons. (1) His own health, (2) The fewer children in school presumably reduces the risk for everyone else, (3) I no longer trust the government to make the right decisions (I was generally willing to be supportive in the early months - no one was going to get it right 100% of the time - but there is absolutely no leadership and every decision seems to be the result of panic rather than planning).

Is this the right thing to do? It would be inconvenient but we are fortunate that we both work from home so can manage it. DS is ASD so in some ways prefers it, although he misses his mates.

Obviously they could legally fine me but I really don't care and would be quite happy to be a legal test case if necessary.

Someone tell me why this is the wrong thing to do. DH is not convinced and I want to understand if there's a really important argument I've missed.

I want to take my child out too. Year 5.

But OH wants him to go in. I was supportive of the government for the first few months but they've made so many mistakes I'm not really prepared to put my childs health/my health in their hands any more.

I am leaning towards not sending my children in but that because the rate of infection in the school area is 700ish out of 100,000. It seems to be the worst area in the town!

What's the situation like where you are @Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady ? What tier are you? I know that if I were in London I definitely wouldn't send him in but the area where we are is less risky. What's your OH's argument?

We are taking our two dc out - we are tier 4 but not a hotspot which closes the schools. Dh ecv - not worth the risk for us.

I'm in Tier 3. Have been since the first day of tiers. Numbers aren't high (when compared to London) but still too high and climbing.

His argument (If you can call it that) its regurgitating the governemnt sound bites. Schools are safe, its best for children to be in school, we havent caught it so far etc etc

I know a lot of people in the RW doing the same now. Maybe tell your husband it’s a short term measure and if it’s better in a week’s time you can review it.

I doubt it’ll be better but you never know!

I don’t think there is a right or wrong but if you can mitigate the risks to education, socialisation (zoom, distance doorstep hellos when legal), mental health and exercise, I don’t see how anybody can (or would want to) argue with you.

Schools do have discretion, get everything in writing from school and LA.

I think next week a good week to make a stand - you’ll be in good company.

Mine aren't going to school (we are in one of the boroughs which should really be closed, and where the borough leader had signed the collective letter to shut the schools). Count me in if you need any support later for the class action

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady

I'm in Tier 3. Have been since the first day of tiers. Numbers aren't high (when compared to London) but still too high and climbing.

His argument (If you can call it that) its regurgitating the governemnt sound bites. Schools are safe, its best for children to be in school, we havent caught it so far etc etc

I really think the government are still of the view everyone needs to be exposed to it, I don’t share that view.

Johnson was shaking hands with numerous covid patients in March. I suspect Johnson’s risk and moral compasses are both very different to mine. I’ll accept government decisions on most things, I’m not one of life’s rule breakers (I’m rather dull 😂) but I won’t accept that he is making these sort of decisions for my family. I know what’s best for my children and the absence of safeguarding concerns, believe all parents should be listened to and allowed to educate remotely.

@emptydreamer

Mine aren't going to school (we are in one of the boroughs which should really be closed, and where the borough leader had signed the collective letter to shut the schools). Count me in if you need any support later for the class action

Ditto! I will not be bullied into acting against the best interests of my children. And I don’t want my children bringing up their children in a country where that’s been accepted as ok. I’m in too and will wear bells!!!

The mental health and well-being of our dcs is my primary concern. We cannot home school effectively and they absolutely suffered from the first lockdown.
My ds became anxious and scared to leave the house - in his head, not being at school meant the whole world was dangerous. He was scared walking in the open countryside thinking he’d get covid if we passed anyone. My ds, who is so sociable and needs to talk to her friends and play etc - she felt isolated and lonely despite having us.

That’s why I think it’s important to keep them in school.

This government is catastrophic and has fucked up the covid response. It truely has. I don’t believe for one second they have the best interests of our children at heart - their only concern is to keep people working hence keeping schools open. So I don’t believe they’re truely covid secure but it’s the risk we take. We don’t see grandparents, we don’t go anywhere else.
We’ve had loads of cases in school including the dcs friends and teachers. So the risk is very very real. But I’m more worried about my children’s mental health.

@Iggly I don't disagree with you. It's a horrible balance to try to maintain. I have the advantage as DS thrived in the lockdown - I know that that wasn't most people's experience though.

I think the government should state that we can make our own choices. Then you could send your kids in and I could keep mine at home and in doing so the risk of both contagion and mental health issues is reduced.

@Iggly
You are absolutely right, mental health is also a priority. But this means different things for different families. For some, the best solution will be to send dc to school, for others - keep them at home.
I cannot fully understand why I am not trusted to make this decision in the best interests of my (individual) children.

@emptydreamer If I was in your situation I'd be exactly the same. It's ridiculous you should have to fight it.

My youngest ds is prone to chest infection and always ends up have bad symptoms with any virus. I pulled him out back in September when schools reopened.
I have an older DS but he’s in year 6 primary so allowed him to continue at school but now I’m seriously considering taking him out for a few weeks.
I’m in a covid hotspot too but not down south. However, I predict that as soon as schools open it will be a matter of days/weeks and we will get it just as bad as the London area.

@Iggly completely get this. So cross for us all. Schools could and should have been safer.

My child could have been remote and yours twice the space. I have two children close in age and three in total so lots of company and also the support of a grandparent living with us.

Maybe if it gets down to only keyworker and vulnerable children they’ll also be able to accommodate children like your son and daughter.

I wish the best interests of the children really were central to the government’s approach.

I’m really torn - my DH definitely thinks they should go in and I’m inclined to agree (for mental health/SEN reasons) but actually think it is madness they are open!

We took ours out before schools closed and found it quite isolating and confusing for the children - I think they should be out of school but wish it was ‘official’ with proper home learning provided etc. I would be very relieved if they closed.

Also, many of my DC classmates live on our street too and there were quite big parties in many of their houses yesterday. I feel really bad for the teachers who will effectively be in "contact" not with 30 isolated households, as expected, but potentially with hundreds of people.

I have two ASD children and they absolutely thrived in lockdown, despite being at a lovely, lovely school. DS went to a special needs unit, DD in mainstream.

I was a school governor and I know how hard our school worked to make things safe. But that many kids in a tiny, cramped classroom in a school with a small footprint? With families who I knew weren't socially distancing (thanks Facebook!). Not for me thanks.

In October I made what felt like a monumental decision to deregister and home educate for the foreseeable future. I'm self-employed so it's difficult but possible.

For us, not having the constant anxiety of whether the DC are getting infected with COVID has been such a huge relief. We see my DM regularly and she's very vulnerable (CEV category) so that would have been a no-go if the DC were going to school.

Tbh, mine are doing so well at home education now I'm not even sure they're going to return. They're so happy and relaxed and engage with learning in different ways. We have an enormous home ed community in our area, and most of my friends are SEN mums, many of whom home ed anyway. I've also joined national FB groups.

I know it's not the right decision for some, but for us it absolutely was. The whole house is so much happier and more relaxed since we deregistered. I think it's absolutely outrageous that parents are being fined for pulling their children out of school in the current circumstances. I absolutely understand why some children need to go to school for their mental health, but that's not the same for all. And if some stay at home, then it's safer for those that DO go in.

Previously the fines were suspended for a while were they not ? Which did give a choice ? That’s what I think should happen because every family dynamic is different and if you have a mother who is CEV then each day is getting scarier.

But if you listened carefully to Boris he said schools are safe ( to pupils) as they are still at very low risk of being seriously ill with the virus. However he acknowledged that it’s them going back and mixing households that is the problem.

But everytime on here the closure of schools is mentioned there is uproar because of a) mental health b) parents unable to work c) being unable to home school or remote learn.

So what is the answer ?

Atm with the new mutation I think close .

@Bing12

Apparently in Italy they did insist on masks and more stringent approach but unfortunately their schools are still struggling badly atm .

So I am not sure that will help either .

Op my dd is the same and has had chest issues, wheezy and needed urgent oxygen a few times.

I've also had to endure a 30 min ambulance wait whilst it seemed her throat had suddenly closed up once...

I'm not sending her in, every winter she seems to catch something nasty.
One year '' mummy, Sarah showed me her throat, it had white spots on it, my throat hurts now, have I got them' cue 2 weeks of strep b, sleeping with her on sofas, wrangles with 111...

Nope. School is not safe, it's an airborne virus and I can't rely on medical help if she gets ill, but more than that, let's say she did get wheezy to the point of urgent intervention... Will she then pick up covid in hospital?.

I wish more heads who must know the laws, the gdp stuff safety regs, duty of care say they either won't open or let us know they won't fine.

Unsure and yet re boris saying they are safe this directly goes against sage etc.

`schools have worked hard to make school safe '

The wording, of the politicians is Weasely.

Is school safe? What is the definition of safe? There are degrees of safety and risk assessments.

Have any schools issued new updated risk assessment based on the new variant?.

Are they magicians? To what degree can each school, neutralise the virus as it emits from staff and pupils throats?

Weasle words

I'm not sending my dds in next week (yr 2 and 6) we're tier 3 cases not too bad but im very uncomfortable about the new strain and them each being crammed into classrooms with another 35 kids. Im praying by the end of next week the government decides to close primary schools. Cases are now so high i just cant see how we can get them under control without closing schools for abit.

Tier 4 here and seriously considering pulling our child out of year 1. We're projected to reach 800 cases per 100,000 next week in our area when school reopens. It's not necessarily the fear of covid, rather if something happens and he or one of us or his sibling needs urgent medical treatment, will our hospitals be able to give that? We're also on the list for top 10 trusts with the highest bed occupancy so it really feels like a huge gamble sending him in.