AIBU? Returning to primary school with mutant virus getting on top of me

[Bougie]

We are in a crowded inner London borough, one of the few where primary kids are returning on Monday. Rates have skyrocketed here and are really high. My DD has been consistent that she will send them back to school if allowed, she is determined not to be ruled by anxiety. I approve in theory but I think I am doing the worrying for her. It's thought that young kids may be more susceptible to this mutant so I don't want them or DH & DSIL to get it. Also it seems anti social to send kids to school in a pandemic when nearly everyone else in the city isn't allowed to it is bound to spread the virus. It also means that I won't be able to ask them for help if God forbid we need any, (DH is not well but I don't think we will really need help from them). I suspect I am being unreasonable, and I am desperate not to nag her & cause a massive row. But I really can't think straight right now. I've coped OK with the pandemic all year so don't know why suddenly I can't sleep and can't relax and feel I am being unreasonable.

YANBU to feel concerned.

The decisions regarding which primaries are opening are illogical. The government is failing the country again.

All you can do is really care for yourself to help manage the worry, try to support/discuss sensitively with your DD, and see what happens.

It's understandable that you're concerned but it is their decision. Do they work? It's not easy to have young children at home when you're trying to work as well. If you are concerned then you don't have to see them, my DS needs to be in school so I'm not seeing vulnerable relatives right now to keep them safe.

We aren't supposed to make up our own rules.

Primary schools in very badly affected areas are not re-opening. And not all primaries have had many cases, ime they’ve been quick to react when there have positive results.

Another factor is that this age group can’t work independently so they really lose out if a parent can’t teach them at home, it’s balancing out the different risks.

@Donotgogentle

Primary schools in very badly affected areas are not re-opening. And not all primaries have had many cases, ime they’ve been quick to react when there have positive results.

Another factor is that this age group can’t work independently so they really lose out if a parent can’t teach them at home, it’s balancing out the different risks.

Greenwich has one of the highest rates of infection per capita, yet has been ordered to keep schools open for all children from 4 Jan. it makes no sense whatsoever - can only assume it's somehow connected to Gavin Williamson threatening to sue them for closing early before Christmas.

Primary schools in very badly affected areas are not re-opening. And not all primaries have had many cases, ime they’ve been quick to react when there have positive results.

This is incredibly naive. Some primaries in very high case areas are opening.

What has been decided with schools is ridiculous!!

I live in one of the 4 boroughs in Kent that's opening up as usual for primary on monday. I'm very nervous my children have to attend monday and if it wasn't for fines they would not be going in. I'm 37 and in the obese category, bmi around 38 so I'm scared about getting covid and dying of it it through catching it, also they have no idea how this new strain affects children. So worried the government has got this really wrong. We live in a deprived area, and every area thats opening schools on Monday here is deprived which is very strange. Our numbers aren't that wonderful either. I do not trust the government they aren't listening to the science it isn't safe

Primary schools in very badly affected areas are not re-opening. And not all primaries have had many cases, ime they’ve been quick to react when there have positive results.

In my area cases are almost 800/100,000. Before we broke up one class in my DCs primary school had over 10 cases amongst the children. I just don't understand why it is deemed safer when we have friends and family in areas with lower cases, yet their schools are not opening.

Does your DD have any underlying health conditions? If not, the risks to her and the children are minimal (though admittedly not non-existent). It will be a far greater risk to your DD's health if she is trying to work from home and care for and homeschool the children at the same time.

But you and your DH definitely shouldn't see them until the vaccine has been widely rolled out, since the risks to you both are much higher. Hopefully, if we can just hang in there for a little longer, things will begin to improve in the next couple of months.

@Wannabangbang your dc could have covid ‘symptoms’ from Monday. Then you either say you couldn’t get a test, weren’t sent the results or that dc wouldn’t tolerate the test being done properly.

That will buy you ten days self isolation time. You will not get fined and your school can not ask for proof.

Add an episode of ‘d&v’ on to the end and you can have the first two weeks of term off.

I doubt many primary schools will still be open after that.

I’m in a highly infected area and caring for someone vulnerable. I don’t want to send my DD in, although we are not on the list. My daughters two absences last term were not acknowledged by the school - so I might not send her in the first few days and see how things develop. I also have two hospital appointments next week that I want to cancel. I don’t know what to do for the best.

I’m in Scotland so it’s going to be slightly different for us (all schools closed apart from key worker/ extremely vulnerable children hubs) until the 18th at least.
It’s INSANE to still have schools open. Also very weird to “pick and choose” the areas to remain open (for now).

YANBU to be concerned by its ultimately not your decision. I am in an area where primary schools will open next week and I was really crossing my fingers they wouldn't as I don't feel at all right about sending my DC in at the moment. However, every other parent I know was crossing their fingers that our primary schools would open and are very happy they are, so I'm in the minority.

Apart from the safety aspect, it seems unfair that some children will be able to go in and others can't and will potentially fall behind. It's like a postcode lottery. The ones staying home are safe but might fall behind in their learning, the ones who can go in will continue with their education by might not be safe. I think all schools should have closed across the board. Nowhere is safe, just some places are apparently safer, for now.

Thanks Megtheshark think i might do this as so worried my kids being used as guinea pigs and if more mums do it the poor teaching staff won't have to attend either

I desperately want to keep mine off too and was going to 'self isolate' as they know there is no way DD would tolerate a test. However I feel like I'm just kicking the can down the road, I don't think primaries will close, I think they will now jeep going no matter what the cost.

You can't help worrying but it isn't your decision, it's theirs as parents - and I do think it's quite selfish to suggest that you want your grandchildren to miss school so that your daughter can help you on the off-chance you need it. As you say, there is absolutely no point arguing with your daughter about this so I think you just need to try and focus on other things and try some strategies to control your own anxiety.

The GCs are extremely unlikely to be seriously ill if they catch covid so you don't need to worry about that. Just plan other support mechanisms that don't involve your DD and their family- have some supermarket slots booked, get the number for a local minicab company- I'm not sure what you need.
I can see why you're concerned, but if schools are open your DD is more or less obliged to send them there.