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Well that's my support bubble gone

22 replies

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 18:35

My daughter lives over the county boundary 20 minutes away and her partner of five years lives down the road from her. I've just called her to say she's not my support bubble now so she can still see her partner who spends half the week at her flat. Now I'm alone as I have nobody else. My daughter and her partner are now in a tier four area tomorrow and we are tier three 😢

OP posts:
TheSilentStars · 30/12/2020 18:36

Oh bless you. Flowers
Hope this hellish situation passes soon and you have some nice people nearby.

Carrotcakey · 30/12/2020 18:40

I am a bit confused as you can still have support bubbles across tiers so why have you said you’re not her bubble if that’s what’s neither of you want? Or is it that she wants to see her partner?

Either way, I am sorry. This whole thing is awful.

Thatwentbadly · 30/12/2020 18:42

It sounds like she was either not seeing her partner since March or has been breaking the rules but has now decided it’s nolonger safe to do so.

I really feel for people who are living in their own through this.

Thatwentbadly · 30/12/2020 18:42

*on

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 18:45

No, she wasn't breaking the rules, it's complicated but they were living together and now her partner has moved in to care for her mother which means Dd is the only adult in her flat, if she wants to see her partner they need to be in each other's support bubble so I phoned her to end our support bubble arrangement so they can see each other.

OP posts:
alliejay81 · 30/12/2020 18:46

You can still be a bubble, so long as you're both comfortable. Google the tier 4 legislation, page 11 says linked households (support bubbles) are an exception. I always read the legislation so I can make sure I know what's law and what's just guidance (not always clear in the media reporting).

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 18:47

@alliejay81

You can still be a bubble, so long as you're both comfortable. Google the tier 4 legislation, page 11 says linked households (support bubbles) are an exception. I always read the legislation so I can make sure I know what's law and what's just guidance (not always clear in the media reporting).
She can't have two support bubbles though and her and her partner need each other plus they live near each other and I'm further away. Her partner can stay overnight with her that way.
OP posts:
Bonkerz · 30/12/2020 18:50

Do they have children because that is still exempt from the bubble system.

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 18:51

@Bonkerz

Do they have children because that is still exempt from the bubble system.
No, no children.
OP posts:
toocold54 · 30/12/2020 19:04

I thought you could still meet one person from another household outdoors even in tier 4?

toocold54 · 30/12/2020 19:05

How often do you see your DD op? Is she classed as your carer or anything?

VanGoghsDog · 30/12/2020 19:15

Yeah, my mum decided to swap to my brother so I no longer have a support bubble. He has a family, I am alone. Mum is alone. But she wanted him to go for Christmas so she's changed so he's the support (with his wife and daughter), but he won't go again and she's already mithering at me to go to hers again but I've told her I can't.

Not that she was ever any support to me anyway, she's a three hour drive away, she can't come to me, and she's extremely self centred. But I don't have anyone else to be in a bubble with me.

DecemberSun · 30/12/2020 19:22

Welfare visits are allowed. You don't have to be bubbled.

Our neighbour lives alone and her son visits once or twice a week to make sure she's ok and to do little jobs like taking the bins out.

MattTebbutsForearms · 30/12/2020 19:27

I've been with my partner for years. But he lives alone, and I live with my DD. From day one, I decided to bubble with my Mum who has cancer and is 76. My partner has just had to suck that up I'm afraid (although I've been there for him on the phone every day)

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 19:34

I thought you could still meet one person from another household outdoors even in tier 4?

She's tier 4, we're tier 3.

How often do you see your DD op? Is she classed as your carer or anything?

it varies, and no - she's not my carer, I have no need of one, I'm not elderly or CEV.

Welfare visits are allowed. You don't have to be bubbled.

A fit, healthy adult doesn't need welfare visits though?

From day one, I decided to bubble with my Mum who has cancer and is 76

And that's right in your circumstances but I am nowhere near your Mum's age. Sorry to hear about her cancer.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 30/12/2020 19:38

You've done a very generous thing OP - it makes me hope that you've been rewarded with good friends Flowers

fastwigglylines · 30/12/2020 19:40

It's shit and situations like this must be playing out across the land.

You've done a really nice thing, volunteering so your DD and her DP didn't have to make a choice. I hope they appreciate you Flowers

fastwigglylines · 30/12/2020 19:42

Even in tier 4, you can still meet 1 friend at a time outside for a walk. Do you have any friends you could meet with?

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 19:44

@fastwigglylines

Even in tier 4, you can still meet 1 friend at a time outside for a walk. Do you have any friends you could meet with?
She's in tier 4 and I'm not so we can't meet each other unfortunately. I don't have anybody else to meet up with for various reasons.
OP posts:
toocold54 · 30/12/2020 19:52

She's tier 4, we're tier 3.

Oh yes sorry op I forgot you can’t travel to other tiers. Hopefully it will only be a couple of weeks and then her tier will go down so you can visit each other again Flowers

DecemberSun · 30/12/2020 20:26

You may be physically healthy, OP, but mental health is also important.

quirkyquails · 30/12/2020 21:06

@fastwigglylines

It's shit and situations like this must be playing out across the land.

You've done a really nice thing, volunteering so your DD and her DP didn't have to make a choice. I hope they appreciate you Flowers

That's why I did it, I didn't want her in a position of having to make a difficult choice.
OP posts:
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