Couldn't make it up...1500 military personnel to support testing in schools...

[ByersRd]

...virtually!

Not even on site, from behind a screen.

You couldn't write it. Its hilarious.

I'm totally resigned to the fact that I will in fact be swabbing kids. In fact it wouldn't ever suprise me if in july I'm vaccinating people. I will probably be trained via a video link on how to use a ventilator next.

What would surprise me would be some recognition and access to a vaccine early.

Love this.

Not quite the help everyone was expecting. The thought process behind whoever came up with it

But they sent the army to help support testing of lorry drivers in Kent to help clear them to get them back to France but won’t send them to schools, it’s a joke

I feel like I’m personally responsible for this. On the morning of Monday 14th December I boldly declared “well, at least we know the DFE can’t get any worse than in 2019-20” then, well, you know...

And it’s not just Karens who believe the propaganda. My own Mum messaged me to reassure me the army would be helping! Not even a little bit of a Karen!

Got it! It is a moral boosting exercise. Hot topless oileed up soldiers are going to be using zoom to bring some joy into the average over worked female teachers lifes.

It feels a bit like trying to use an iPhone to open a yoghurt
Yep. That's how the DfE likes to work with its lazy feckless workshy lefty teachers

@Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum

Got it! It is a moral boosting exercise. Hot topless oileed up soldiers are going to be using zoom to bring some joy into the average over worked female teachers lifes.

I don't think I've got the energy for a hot topless oiled up soldier. Maybe I'll stop planning lessons now to conserve my energy for GI Joe.

Join up lads! See the world.

Madness. Surely.chemists, midwives,district nurses or even vets would be better. 1 per school. Kids with masks on 1 meter apart, disposable needles. How hard can it be to jab a needle in the arm and push plunger? The Army do have medics why not just use those instead of the pantomime of remote advise. Many schools have a nurse anyway.

Many schools have a nurse anyway.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh wait, you weren't joking...

@Ivytheterrible79

You couldn't write it. Its hilarious.

I'm totally resigned to the fact that I will in fact be swabbing kids. In fact it wouldn't ever suprise me if in july I'm vaccinating people. I will probably be trained via a video link on how to use a ventilator next.

What would surprise me would be some recognition and access to a vaccine early.

Yes this in spades

I work across a whole LA, school nurse...what school nurse...

Its an absolute joke!

From what I can work out they're going to be the call centre handlers, because they (NHS? PH? DofE?) can't face trying to recruit anyone else to read the script when someone calls in

I think we're being trolled by our own government tbh.

Can you imagine waving the lateral flow tests to the camera asking remote army mechanics if they can see a second line or not?!?!
Can't we just post a pic on MN and ask for 'line eyes'? All identifying info blanked out of course.

I’m an agency nurse. I’ve been approached to be a clinical lead for school testing. No idea re number of us/ set up yet.

We have a school nurse who we pay for ourselves.
She was requisitioned by the NHS in March. We've not seen her since.

Last I saw of a school nurse was in a multi agency meeting in 2014, not see one since 😞
The bbc is to blame for misleading people. They changed the headlines at 3 times today. Along the lines of...
-army drafted in to help school testing
-army to help school testing online
-army will virtually support schools testing

I feel mislead, I did envision lines of army medics conducting tests...whilst school staff get on with the job of teaching.

Should have known by numbers, just including secondary and special we have 5500 schools, so just short of a third of a military person each!

Add primaries....nearly 33000...

Yet which ever Tory MP interviewed this morning on BBC still said "the army are going into schools". Such misinformation pedalled.

Many schools have a nurse anyway

Really? In which historic period is our drama set?

@StealthPolarBear

Left a bit... Right a bit... That's it

😂😂😂

@C8H10N4O2

Many schools have a nurse anyway

Really? In which historic period is our drama set?

Brilliant. 1995 I believe.

Caring apparently one meter apart won't be enough to surpress transmission so the dc will need to be strictly lined up at far greater distances, masks on, proper masks not touched and no talking.

From a discipline, let's take this seriously perspective, I think the army would be a good idea, boots on site to order this
. Otherwise you will get sightly nervous hyped up chatting laughing pupils, standing too close and passing it around in the queue.

@C8H10N4O2

Many schools have a nurse anyway

Really? In which historic period is our drama set?

My husband came out with this clanger about school nurses this morning and he's married to a teacher. School nurses indeed. We barely have chairs or windows that open.