11 year old home alone?

[QualitySweetHero]

DC is 11 and in year 7.

i work in primary so will be going back on the 4th. (in theory)

DC will be online learning until the 11th supposedly.

I have not left them home alone for more then 2 hours before. I haven't heard back about key worker places yet - I know they are on a well deserved break so understand the delay but I really want a rough plan in my head incase. Plus DC is very resistant to going in on key worker provisions as they did for the entire first lockdown due to being in year 6.

Would you leave an 11yo home 8-4?

I will leave my year 8 DS but I only work half days and one full day. He enjoys being home alone and knows my neighbour is around if he needs anything. I don’t like the full day but he doesn’t seem to notice. He will have a full timetable of online lessons to keep him busy though.

My son is same age and I wouid - I'd do a packed lunch in the morning. Try and go home for lunch? Ask neighbours to keep eye on house and check in with him on regular basis.

I live in a country where children getting themselves to school without adults and being home for increasing periods without an adult has always been not only acceptable but encouraged as part of developing independence. I completely agree with teaching children what to do in all realistic situations, ensuring they are completely confident using the phone and going to prearranged neighbors for help, and then deliberately organising opportunities for them to be home alone for at first very short, then gradually longer periods, so that the first time they're alone is never when they're ill or in an emergency and liable to be unprepared, frightened or worried.

So I could I think even leave my not quite 10 year old for that length of time and he'd be ok.

However I really don't think I would leave any pre teen home completely alone for five constructive days, especially as in teaching you can't call him every hour/ be available to answer the phone.

I'd leave my 3 together in that situation (15, 13, nearly 10). I'm very lucky that they're sensible and supportive of each other. We have also lived in the same house, with the same neighbours, for the last 14 years, and the kids from all the families can go to any of the parents for help - and its normal and expected.

I hope you get your keyworker place - I'm sure your 11 year old will be perfectly safe at home, but five eight hour days in a row is a bit miserable even for a competent and self sufficient 11 year old.

I was left on my own at 11...and we would be outside playing all day, only coming home when hungry. Its terrible that families are being put in this position. I think it depends on the child, you are the best judge of this. Its only a week (I really hope no longer, we are Scotland too, it would be devastating if it was longer).

I leave my 10yo on his own for 30/40 minutes occasionally when he REALLY doesnt want to walk the dog with me (it's raining, cold and wet for example)...and my ex said if I did it again he would report me .

Mine is year 7 and I left him for two days the week before Xmas when he was self isolating but he basically spent 8 hours on the Xbox and I would not do it again assuming key worker provision will be offered.

I’d really hope not to. By this time next year, Year 8, I’d be happier. But 11 and managing home learning alone is a lot at that age. My DC is very (too!) independent so it’s not the safety aspect but would certainly panic if the tech went wrong and would worry about getting into trouble with school - and I assume if you’re primary you can’t be available for calls anytime they need you. I’d do it if no other option, but I wouldn’t be too happy about it.

I'm also primary w an 11 yo. I wouldn't leave them at home all day on a regular basis, and would definitely request a KW place at their school.
I asked for a place last lockdown and it was made clear that it was 'no frills'. Even so, even for just the morning would have been better than leaving them alone all day.

Yes I would. Children have to learn to stay home alone at some point and 11 yo is mature enough to understand safety in most of cases. I would definitely provide them with the phone though and text/call every 3 hours or so.

I would if they were happy but my Y7 DD would be anxious and scared for that long so it wouldn't work for us.

We are fortunate that DH has been working from home since March. Yes, there is the possibility ge gets called out (twice since March it's not been able to be sorted remotely).
Our 11 yr old has been at home for 5 weeks since I got a job in the autumn. Home, dealing with remote learning, but with an adult in the house for lunch and emergencies, he's been fine.
A week would be tough, but manageable.
My fear would be not accepting a key worker place, and then remote learning being extended.
Is it all or nothing? Could he go to school Tues and Thurs, and be at home M,W,F?

Hopefully you will get a key worker place, but also where is the child's dad in all of this?

If you work in a school you are classed as a key worker so your child can go to school. I also work in a school and DH is NHS (although working from home) so we will probably send ours into school as DH needs to focus on work not supervise them (and they need supervising).

@Santaisreel Scottish staff should only be in if they have a child related duty to fulfil, or some other task that cannot be done at home.
What is the point in schools needing loads of keyworker places for all the teachers who have children, meaning more staff aren't available to do online learning?

In Scotland, my area anyway, both parents have to be keyworkers not working at home.

No if you haven't left the child that long before. It isn't fair.

I had to leave my ds at that age for a couple of days, between 8&6 but I went home at lunchtime, cooked lunch, checked ds was coping ok etc. And I was never more than 10 mins away.

Can someone drop in during the day? Just for a few minutes and a welfare check.

I personally would not leave a 11 year old alone for that amount of time.

[quote ItsIgginningtolookalotlikeXmas]@Santaisreel Scottish staff should only be in if they have a child related duty to fulfil, or some other task that cannot be done at home.
What is the point in schools needing loads of keyworker places for all the teachers who have children, meaning more staff aren't available to do online learning?[/quote]

I have no idea?

I did during the first lockdown. He’s very sensible and I have two sets of retired neighbours who let him have their number in case of emergency. He’s 12 now and stayed home alone recently whilst his year group was closed due to the virus.
I don’t like doing it but he loves it! Did all his online classes, made himself cup a soup for lunch and even did a few chores at lunchtime.

Its not only leaving them alone but also expecting them to able to do a full days learning without any adult around to ask for help or even to keep them motivated to even do the lessons.
If the online learning isnt live (my ds online was pre recorded in the summer term) who does the child ask if they are unsure about something or not understanding? DS teachers were contactable by email but obviously can't answer every email straight away. Not all children have the maturity, intellectual ability or self motivation to learn alone day after day, in fact some adults would find solitary learning/ working hard yet we expect our children to be able to excel at this.Why we accept this as an adequate form of learning is beyond me?

No I wouldn’t

My boy is 10.5, happy to leave him for 2 hours max.

Responsible boy but I’d worry about loneliness and cooking

In your position I would talk to my employer but if this was the only option... I would approach the conversation as:

This is a pandemic
My child is young
There isn’t an alternative
I need you to be supportive and flexible

I'm a teacher too and face with with my slightly older year 8. In your position I'd be asking the secondary for a key worker place. With my child being slightly older I have negotiated that I will only be in school for a little more than the hours the children are, and that I will do planning etc from home. Also allowed to do my PPA from home whilst DC is at home. I'm also allowed to keep my phone in my room rather than locked away. 11 is young to be left alone all day every day though

@3littlewords
I agree, which is why my 14 year old will be attending under keyworker provision. He was latch-keyed at 9. I also don't trust that it will only be a week.

I have an 11yo and she has been doing online school all year (we are not in the uk). There were some tech issues the first week, but since then she hasn’t needed me. I do wfh, but I just go into my office in the morning and don’t emerge until lunch time. On days I have meetings during her lunch break, I “pack” her a lunch, but truthfully she could make her own, she just likes that I make it for her. Basically, I’m happy I’m in the house in case of an emergency, but she has been successfully doing online school independently all year without it mattering that I am home. If I had to go into the office at this point, I’d let her stay home for school. I’d be nervous, but would feel better about that than the alternative which is a supervised center where they have to wear masks and headphones all day because they are in a room full of kids doing online school. She is learning at home very successfully.

I guess I should add, my DD’s online school is live. They follow the same bell schedule that would have been in place of in physical school. They meet via zoom. Sometimes teachers teach the whole hour, sometimes they have kids work supervised on camera and sometimes they let the kids log off and work independently. It depends on the individual teacher, but the kids are on a schedule and not just left to their own motivation al day.