Anyone else rowing with family/ friends over the rules?

[tearsandtiaras]

I seem to spend my life arguing with friends/ family atm over covid,

i follow the science not the rules and won't just blindly do what Boris says.

For e.g I wouldn't have met up with 3 households on xmas day just because Boris said. The numbers were
too high it didn't feel safe.

I drive everywhere and haven't been shopping or seen anyone indoor since before the second lockdown or broken any rules.

Some of my friends / family break rules as and when it suits them with no clear reasons why- for eg refusing to meet me outside for a walk as its too " dangerous" as tier 4 but had a group of people over on Christmas day all who haven't had covid and all who take public transport

It infuriates me as it makes no sense and i lose out on emotional contact with them and its feels personal. my MH has taken a huge dip. I've seen no one for months except DP and our relationship is at breaking point

Does anyone else have similar arguments with their family?

It is bringing out the hypocrite in all of us. Happy to criticise others whilst ignoring the fact most of us have bent the rules ourselves in some way.

The only person I know who has kept to every rule is in an awful state. Alone, fear has destroyed them.

i agree, people are total hypocrites towards others, making up bubbles when it suits them but being scandalized that someone could go into a pub in tier 2

i have been worried for ages about colleagues reactions should anyone catch the virus, less than sympathetic i imagine.

You need to stop trying to control everyone else. It will upset you and create family divisions.

Remember, many people will use any excuse to justify what they want to do. You see it on MN with excuses like 'well if it is good enough for Dominic Cummings ... ' You can't change that.

So you make up your own rules then row with friends and family because they don't match your made up rules?!

I bet your a fun person to be around ( or not depending on your rule).

If you'd have told me a year ago that people would be vilified for making their own risk assessments to see their own families, all of whom are consenting adults, I wouldn't have believed it. Yet here we are.

You do you.

Surely if everyone thinks that the current increase in infections and hospital admissions won’t abate?

Most of my in laws dont follow the rules (they are in the denial its serious group) despite FIL being vulnerable they have people round the house all the time, BIL social life hasn't changed in the slightest and SIL dc dont isolate when their school Bubbles burst "because he's not showing symptoms ". I've pointed out several times they shouldn't be doing those things but it falls on deaf ears and the only person who gets worked up about it is me so I dont bother anymore. Their life let them get on with it, I haven't been in their house since March and dont intend too anytime soon

What does 'driving everywhere' have to do with avoiding covid? Is it a public transport fear or something else?

I put OP in the deranged camp, tbh. On a fast track to being blocked by everyone.

Obvious that driving means avoiding public transport and possible transmission there, and what is deranged about the OP’s post? I can’t see anything “deranged”, and don’t see why she would be blocked.

Can we all just take care of ourselves and do whatever we need to do ourselves. People essentially break the rules for a variety of reasons. But they are still your friends, family and loved ones just as they always have been. I hate the way people are turning on each other....just take a breath

Luckily family are all on the same wavelength and not selfish or reckless fools.

I talk to my one aunt less and less now because she is so defiant. She sees herself as a bit of a rebel, an AD ('anti dementor 🙄 type).

She describes Covid as a bully that needs standing up to, so she deliberately goes out more (T3) has people over, including a friend with a child in isolation.

I had to put her off coming over when DS had Covid, such is her relaxation about it all.

When I've dropped stuff off and not gone in, she tries her best to get me to go in and laughs at my 'nervousness'. When I explain its not legal and I'm trying to protect her as she's vulnerable (late 70s, had cancer twice, ill health) and that 10%.of my childrens' secondaries have the virus, she dismisses it.

She says she's had her life and doesn't mind if that's how she goes.
I'm sure the medics mind. I'm sure she'd mind if she died the terrible way my SIL brother did, drowning by Covid.

I am also a great believer in following the science – which pretty much means following the rules but making some judgements around the edges. I don’t judge those who make different choices but I get very upset by family and friends who want me to respect their choices (i.e. do what they want to do) but who will not respect my choices.

No matter how neutral you are about things if one person wants to break the rules and another doesn’t feel comfortable that impacts what you can do and you can’t completely avoid discussing it

OP is picking fights ("seem to spend my life") with people who don't follow OP's made up rules when socialising with each other (not even in behaviour OP's company, seemingly the people following the actual rules don't even live in OP's household). That fight-picking makes her fairly deranged. If it upsets OP so much, I'd definitely not tell OP things. It's pretty easy on some social media to filter out certain people from seeing your posts if that's how OP gets her information.

I'm always amazed at how much MNers know about lives of people they don't live with, especially about other people's daily behaviour. This applies triply so when it comes to actual breaking of 'rules' (which OP is not describing, anyway). And even more so if someone is giving you grief (for following the rules that they don't approve of).

I know people who drive everywhere because they are lazy or disabled. OP didn't say why she drives everywhere or why it matters to OP.

Public transport here is still quite empty. It's safer than going in a taxi.

Ragged you obviously don't live in London, and are incredibly naive/ stupid to question where public transport fits into the transmission of covid

Our families are all on the same page over this. Friends are a different matter. They range from totally complying with rules to disobeying when it's convenient to do so to being conspiracy theorists. I'm don't argue with them. You can't argue with stupid. Many friends are backing off from the conspiracy theorists and some from the ones openly breaking rules. It has made me see some in a totally different light.

Public transport being crowded in London makes it ok to start arguments with people who don't follow your other made up rules?

Ragged you are being deliberately goady and just plain wrong - I have no idea what you are on about my "made up rules" , at no point have I cited any rules I have made up.

People like you should be ashamed of yourself deliberately trying to bully random people on the internet who are citing poor mental health.

Ragged you are clearly unaware of the rules in tier 4. A person is allowed to meet another outside for a walk. please familiarise yourself with the rules before making idiotic and rude posts