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Original poster

Stepdaughter insists she is bubbling with BIL despite bubbling with her bf

19 replies

Haggertyjane · 27/12/2020 10:59

SDaughter is staying with my BIL following the mothers death a week ago. He doesnt want her there or his MIL who has been there 3 weeks. He has health problems and his MIL is in her 80s.

Together they are disruptive and don't seem to be grieving just looking at the mothers property to see what can be taken.

BIL is a softy and wants to ask them to go on the grounds they are in tier 4 and the SD is visiting her boyfriend daily, whose young son is also visiting him, and then she comes back to stay at his house. She says she has looked at the rules and she can bubble with BIL and her bf. This is clearly BS but short of throwing her out what can he do. She has her own flat nearby.

BIL wants to grieve in peace and the MIL and SD are causing constant harrassment to the point he has to leave the house to make a private phone call as the SD was clearly listening outside his door to a phone call yesterday

OP posts:
Underadesk · 27/12/2020 17:57

This has been missed, but if its his house he can just call the police to remove them. Or you can to support him. The police will only come so many times before the sd/mil get the picture..... especially if he makes sure his locks are changed.

Underadesk · 27/12/2020 17:58

If he keeps going on about bubbles and tiers, neither will listen and just take the piss.

OverTheRainbow88 · 27/12/2020 18:00

I find your post confusing sorry. Has BIL
Mum passed or his wife?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 27/12/2020 18:02

Someone, either a family member or even the police need to step in and protect this poor man. @Underadesk is right, it's nothing to do with Covid or tiers just that he wants them gone. Also, agree with changing locks.

missbipolar · 27/12/2020 18:14

Is it SD or BILs SD? And who died??

Original poster
Haggertyjane · 27/12/2020 18:52

It's BILs wife of 8 years, together 10.

Well he just had enough of them and told them to go earlier this afternoon. He then took the dog for a walk and came back to find they had gone, but taken important documents with them including those to the wife's car which he bought her. I was on the verge of calling the police for him. They also took £150 but he's let that go. He's text them to return the documents.

He now has the house to himself. I've told him to change the locks.

It's a very complicated story but they've gone at last

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 27/12/2020 19:00

That’s terrible, I’m glad they are gone. I would second the changing of the locks. What horrid people

Underadesk · 27/12/2020 19:23

He needs to ring the dvla asap- they could try and register the car in their name and then come back for it.
I never say break the rules, but he needs someone to support going through all the stuff (if he needs it) checking what has gone and reporting it. They could have taken anything and if he hasn’t changed the locks, they could easily get a key cut, use the info for well.... anything. And it will leave him unprotected if they have keys.

picklemewalnuts · 27/12/2020 19:24

Is this the relative whose wife's will essentially cut him out? Thanks

CandyLeBonBon · 27/12/2020 19:49

Ffs he needs to get the police involved. That's terrible. Has he got proof of ownership?

SquishySquirmy · 27/12/2020 21:02

Covid bubbles are a red herring here I think.
The MIl - was it her daughter who died? Was it your step daughter's mum who died, or her aunt?
I dont think it entirely fair of you to say "they aren't grieving" if so.
They might not be grieving the way you think they should, but people can respond differently to grief.

However they shouldn't be in the house if your bil doesn't want them, and if it is his house. It sounds like a very messy situation, I am sorry. Now they are out, he might need to change the locks!

Original poster
Haggertyjane · 27/12/2020 22:58

He's informed her he will call the police if she doesn't return the documents. He paid for the car although it is in the deceased wife's name, but as it says on the V5 it's not proof of ownership. He paid for it for his wife to drive, like most people do who are married.

OP posts:
Original poster
Haggertyjane · 27/12/2020 23:00

He can dead bolt the front door and leave the key in so they can't gain access, ditto the back door and let himself in and out of the patio doors. Appalling situation.

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 27/12/2020 23:13

As the spouse he will inherit her possessions unless she specifically left them to her daughter. Is there a will? Executors? How is he related to you (your husbands brother)?

Viviennemary · 27/12/2020 23:22

I think he needs to contact the police. If he doesn't and things get worse he might wish he had. If they took things from his house it's theft.

CandyLeBonBon · 27/12/2020 23:44

@Haggertyjane

He's informed her he will call the police if she doesn't return the documents. He paid for the car although it is in the deceased wife's name, but as it says on the V5 it's not proof of ownership. He paid for it for his wife to drive, like most people do who are married.
Yes op - proof of registration is not proof of ownership - so anything he has (invoice or sales paperwork) will make it much clearer for police involvement I'm guessing x
Original poster
Haggertyjane · 28/12/2020 09:59

@Pipandmum @CandyLeBonBon He sent her a text yesterday telling her to return the documents as he has proof (bank statements) it is joint property and falls outside the estate. She agreed to see him today so hopefully she will return these things.

Yes, it's a will dispute, but I can't go into details as it's identifying. He's spoken to a solicitor and advised her to do the same

OP posts:
Northernsoullover · 28/12/2020 10:05

Did you post about this recently? If so its an utterly shocking situation (actually its shocking full stop) I'm glad they have left.

Original poster
Haggertyjane · 28/12/2020 19:23

@Northernsoullover Yes. It's appalling. It doesn't get any better, but he now has a solicitor and we'll get justice for everyone eventually x

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