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Original poster

How can I get out from a boxing day meet up and dinner?

49 replies

MerinoFroggie · 24/12/2020 20:20

My partner would like me to go with him to dinner on boxing day to his relatives house. The problem is there is 15 people approximately due to attend.

I know it goes against the guidelines. I also know it is wrong because there will be tooich meeting up and too much close contact.

I'm not happy about it and I said it to him too but he would still like me to go. How do I give him a nice firm no on the morning of boxing day. We don't live together by the way.

My issue with the gathering is that anyone one of them due to attend could have been exposed and be in an incubation period. There will be two people there who work in bars and they were very busy over the past number of weeks especially over the past week. That really doesn't bode well with me. Their jobs would have been a risk. They worked within the covid guidelines with social distancing in place. My worry is the volume of people that went in through their workplace doors. Tables were booked all the time and there was a constant flow of people. I do think they should be reducing their close contacts in case they have been exposed in their jobs.

I told my partner, I am not very happy going for dinner. What do you think I could say. An excuse to get out from it. Maybe a lie like a toothache or period pain.

Would you lie if you me?

I'm not in the UK where people have taken the guidelines very seriously with reporting on neighbours etc. We have public health guidelines but it's more relaxed.

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 24/12/2020 21:17

Don't lie. Don't wait until the day. Say 'I'm not willing to attend a gathering outside the guidelines, I'm sorry but I'll see you in 7-10 days. Assertive, clear, honest.

katy1213 · 24/12/2020 21:20

You don't need an excuse to say you don't fancy dinner with 15 people who mean nothing to you during a pandemic. I'm not too hung up on rules, but at least break them with people you care about!

katy1213 · 24/12/2020 21:21

I love 'so far' they don't have the virus! Nobody has it - until they actually have!

kursaalflyer · 24/12/2020 21:22

@ScrapThatThen

Don't lie. Don't wait until the day. Say 'I'm not willing to attend a gathering outside the guidelines, I'm sorry but I'll see you in 7-10 days. Assertive, clear, honest.
Absolutely this. He doesn't really care when he's with you and also every other Tom, Dick and Harry.
Notonthestairs · 24/12/2020 21:25

When it comes to health and risk it doesn't matter what he thinks, it matters what you think. (Assume that position for everything else until you share finances/children etc)

Brunt0n · 24/12/2020 21:27

Why are so many people advocating lying and saying she’s ill?

If this is a decent relationship she should be able to say truthfully that she is not comfortable with that at the moment. If she can’t say that, the relationship is doomed anyway

Original poster
MerinoFroggie · 24/12/2020 21:33

He's not being a bully.

We've had a different outlook from the start about the virus. He's of the mindset of
'the virus is here now. There's nothing we can do but get on with our lives'.

I'm off the opinion that is best avoid and its best to follow the guidelines to minimise and reduce risks.

He's think I'm being overly cautious and anxious. I think I'm trying to be as safe as possible. Meeting with 15 people is too much. In case any one of us has the virus in the incubation phase.

OP posts:
SlothWithACloth · 24/12/2020 21:37

There will be so many times in your life where you have to deal with situations like this.
There’s no need to lie or make excuses. Always have the confidence to live by your own moral code and values. Be polite, be diplomatic but never feel like you you can’t be yourself and express your own views and have the strength to stand by them.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/12/2020 21:59
  • We've had a different outlook from the start about the virus. He's of the mindset of 'the virus is here now. There's nothing we can do but get on with our lives'.

I'm off the opinion that is best avoid and its best to follow the guidelines to minimise and reduce risks. *

So, he can decide to go, you can decide not to. That's all there is to it - there's no need to make excuses or defend your decision.

Dongdingdong · 24/12/2020 22:10

Could not of put it better.

There is some shocking spelling and grammar on this thread. The above is just one example.

TorringtonDean · 24/12/2020 22:18

It’s not legal unless you’re in the Scilly Isles. Tell him you don’t intend to break the law.

Johan23 · 24/12/2020 22:32

@Dongdingdong. Who made you the MN English teacher?

foreverandalways · 24/12/2020 22:35

Tell them you have been in contact with someone who has tested positive so need to isolate...😊

LawnFever · 24/12/2020 22:36

@Dongdingdong

Could not of put it better.

There is some shocking spelling and grammar on this thread. The above is just one example.

There’s some shocking off topic utterly pointless input on this thread - the above is a clear example Xmas Grin
ToastieSnowy · 24/12/2020 22:37

As someone who has Covid at the moment, you do not want it. All of those people will seem absolutely fine with no symptoms yet any one of them could have it and not know. You’ll only find out when you start coughing .

Not worth it. Say no.

LawnFever · 24/12/2020 22:37

@MerinoFroggie

He's not being a bully.

We've had a different outlook from the start about the virus. He's of the mindset of
'the virus is here now. There's nothing we can do but get on with our lives'.

I'm off the opinion that is best avoid and its best to follow the guidelines to minimise and reduce risks.

He's think I'm being overly cautious and anxious. I think I'm trying to be as safe as possible. Meeting with 15 people is too much. In case any one of us has the virus in the incubation phase.

So just tell him that, don’t lie, don’t make up an excuse just speak your mind and be done with it
Tavannach · 24/12/2020 22:41

Just say no, you're not comfortable with it.
Why would he want you to feel uncomfortable?

marcopront · 24/12/2020 22:49

@TorringtonDean

It’s not legal unless you’re in the Scilly Isles. Tell him you don’t intend to break the law.
The OP has said she is not in the UK.

There are plenty of places where it is legal. Tanzania, for example, has no Covid restrictions and very little Covid.

Viviennemary · 24/12/2020 22:50

It's not allowed. Report them.

ktp100 · 24/12/2020 22:51

I really think if you lie now it'll come across worse than just saying no.

You've already aired your concerns so little white lies will look too convenient now.

Just say you have made the decision to stick to Covid guidelines and that you are really sad to miss it but you won't be attending. Don't be pressured into doing something you don't want to do, OP.

marcopront · 24/12/2020 23:02

@Viviennemary

It's not allowed. Report them.
Considering the OP hasn't said what country she is in, how do you know it is not allowed?
Frolicacid · 24/12/2020 23:05

Why lie? If you are in a relationship with him, surely you should be able to be honest? Wouldn’t he want you to be truthful?
Just tell him you don’t feel comfortable / safe with that many people. And if he’s a half decent partner, he will respect that.
No need to lie.

Giraffey1 · 24/12/2020 23:05

It’s easy. You just tell him now that you don’t feel comfortable with it, you do not want break the rules and that you will not be going. Don’t wait until Boxing Day.

LemonTT · 24/12/2020 23:23

He knows you don’t agree it’s safe, but is still pushing you to go? Not much respect there. Just tell him, no.

Not much of a relationship if you can’t.

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