Would anyone else rather just not do Christmas at all?

[TiersDryOnTheirOwn]

I’m fine with not seeing people and all of that but I’d rather just treat it like a normal day at this point and celebrate with family/friends at Easter or wait til next year. Sadly my family don’t feel the same! Anyone else?

If we didn’t have children we’d just have a nice meal, go to church on zoom and watch tv. That would be fine.

But our children have precious few magical childhood Christmases so although this one won’t be “normal” as we adults would see it, we are making it fun and doing lots of stuff to make it special in its own way for them. Looking forward to trying some new traditions.

I'll be honest.
I don't like Christmas. It brings back memories of unhappy times, and for the last few years I did my best but found it stressful, more expensive than I could afford, and left me drained and never feeling that I did enough. The pressure on this single parent to provide so much was very stressful.
Now my 'kids' are adults, I am actually looking forward to doing nothing on Christmas day - presents will be delivered tomorrow and left on doorsteps and I'm quite content to think that for once, I won't finish the day exhausted and stressed.

I wish it wasn't Christmas. I'm waiting for all 3 dcs test results to come back and our dog died today. We couldn't even say goodbye to her at the vets.

Sorry for the loss of your dog @FireUnderpants

Tier 3 and still looking forward to Christmas.

New Year however, can suck my dick

I by my own for next 5 days until back at work (Bubble collapsed when boris put us in tier 4 last weekend) I have no kids or partner
I am trying to ignore the fact it is xmas

Just finished wrapping. I’ve never felt so anxious or unfestive as I do right now. I’m trying to pull a magical day off for my DC but it’s going to be hard.

How can we all enjoy the day when we know what’s in store from 00.01 on Boxing Fay, with no end in sight, what the next briefing will have in store and just how many more people are going to suffer or die in the bdct few months.

It’s just unthinkable

Even though I do all the work (just me and the kids - my son will do the washing up) I'm really looking forward to it.

I'd rather not do life atm tbh.

If someone could knock me out for about 18 months and wake me up when its all over that would be bloody marvellous.

As it is, the decs are up, the food's prepped and I'm responsible for elderly parents and teenage DD so not much choice but to get on with it.

No I'm looking forward to our chilled cosy day and planning a 2nd Christmas with family, hopefully in the summer when we can be together safely.

Not feeling it at all here. Dp was “let go” from his new job on Monday evening, 4 days before Christmas- nice. He had been there for only 5 weeks and they pretty much used him and many others for the Christmas rush. Our future is very uncertain and l feel physically sick.

Keeping a brave face on for the dc. Dd is nearly 10, doesn’t believe in Santa but done her list and has several surprises I can’t wait for her to see. Ds is 17 and has Aspergers. He couldn’t be less bothered about Christmas, he has really bad anxiety and suffers with SAD. He just wants the year to be over!

But... we have a full fridge of food, presents and each other and that is more than a lot of people have right now.

Trying to be positive as I really believe in positive thinking and gratitude. Will be glad when it’s over but I know we will have a nice day

No, I don't feel this way at all. But I can see why you would. I'm feeling quite festive tbh and I'm in Tier 4 and dc is isolating, so we can't really go anywhere. Helps that I have no family nearby and don't especially like my town..depressing as that sounds. The best thing about this place is my house, DH and dcs. So I'm happy enough without any of the rest of it. For one year anyway. Making the best of it with dcs, who really don't mind too much about what they're missing.

I find Christmas really hard and quite stressful at the best of times this year is so much harder. I'd like nothing more than to spend the whole day in bed ignoring the world but as I have 3 dc I need to put my game face on and suck it up.

I have put the tree up, wrapped the presents and bought the food but it just feels like I am going through the motions this year with no joy in any of it. I feel like just want to get through it and the rest of winter as quickly as possible as I am hoping things will be somewhat better in the spring.

I do wonder what message you’re sending children with this ‘can’t be bothered with it’ If you’re healthy and have your family with you be grateful and show them how much you value a day with them.

@Excitablemuch

I do wonder what message you’re sending children with this ‘can’t be bothered with it’ If you’re healthy and have your family with you be grateful and show them how much you value a day with them.

I'm not sending any sort of message to my dc, ill vent my feelings to an anonymous online forum knowing they will never see it. I will put the happy mum mask on and crack on with the day...for them

@snookercue

No, and I don't understand why so many people don't want to 'do' Christmas if it means staying home with their immediate family. We have actively chosen to do this for 20 years and now people are acting as if Christmas isn't worth having if you can't go out and see others.

Completely agree .....Christmas is what you make it. MN usually full of people moaning about their obligations to see people when they just want a quiet one at home and now it seems we have the opposite.

I understand if you have to be by yourself over Xmas that it will feel awful - by what's so bad about spending the day with your immediate family?

Yes, only going through the motions this year. Tier three, so going to see my parents in the morning. Afternoon to walk the dogs and ride my horse, then pizza for tea and something good on tv. No kids, so not even put the tree up.
I would sooner they said we could have an extra Bank Holiday in late Summer when (if) most of us have been vaccinated, so we can have a proper family get together.

We do Xmas just the four of us every year but it still feels really flat this year, I think it’s because there’s been none of the build up. We usually do something both days at the weekend and at least one night in the week from mid November then everyday once the kids finish school, visits to family and stay over at either end of the country and at least one hotel stay.
None of that this year, we have done two festive events that were so depressing and unfestive I d rather have stayed home, a national trust light trail for £20 a minute which was good just short and expensive, a wildlife park trip that was good but not Christmassy and a drive in cinema again good but no festive feelings even though it was Home Alone.
I ve made it special for the kids, but no festive feelings here either. It’s been weird on our days out too normally fantastic atmospheres, everyone in Xmas clothes but none of that this year 🙁. Also we normally go away for new year and that was cancelled end of November when we went to tier 3. So nothing to look forward to but months of miserable weather and absolutely nothing to do.
Everywhere we have been has been fully within the rules by the way!!

I dont give a crap tbh. The idea of celebrating when my poor Dad is all alone and depressed in T4 feels horrible. At least I fedxd him a gift!

Well said 3littlewords.

If it was just me and DH we would get some nice food in etc but not really 'do' Christmas- just enjoy time off work together. Because of DS we have made a real effort to make it as magical as possible for him despite the fact it's very different this year.

I guess it calls into question what the point is of Christmas. In lots of ways it is the same for us as normal. We are not pursuaded by expensive days out and excessive goods. We have caught up with family and friends but haven't physically seen them all. We will eat nice food, spend family time and enjoy the decorations and open our gifts.

For us Christmas is a cultural celebration not dissimilar to bank holidays. They happen as part of the rhythm of the year.

I don't really get the narrative of not doing Christmas. But it won't wait for you.

Why do you normally do it?

I’ll be glad when it’s over.

We had our baby this year after years of ttc and disappointments so I feel very lucky and it is of course special to have her first Christmas.

However I lost my mum at Christmas so it is a time with some sad memories. We have lost other loved ones this year including DH’s lovely gran so that is tough for him.

I’ve managed fine with a pregnancy, traumatic birth and then new baby in lockdown, diagnosed pnd, very little support, DH working extremely long hours and nearly cracking with stress, the fact most of my family haven’t even met her, the fact that my area has been in some form of lockdown since March. We have a roof over our head and DH has been in work throughout so I’ve focused on the positives.

But Christmas just brings home all the lovely things that would be happening in normal times, it highlights how much I’m missing my siblings and friends and nieces and nephews and how sad I am that they can’t meet and cuddle my baby, maybe even have her for a few hours so I can catch up on sleep or eat a meal with both hands. And it reminds me how very very much I miss my own mum, more so this year now that I’m a mum for the first time myself.

I don’t particularly want Christmas ‘just our little family’. I love my wider family and good friends and enjoy spending time with them. We’ve got our tree up and bought presents and will have a nice meal and eat chocolate and dress DD up in a cute festive outfit and enjoy seeing her rip paper and stare at twinkly lights, it will be very nice and I’m fully aware of how very lucky we are. We’re even going to join in the bell ringing this evening and it will be nice to see our lovely neighbours.

But I feel very sad a lot of the time and it’s easier to be sad when it’s not in your face all the time that you’re meant to be merry and bright.