Urgent query re single parent family

[saturnrover]

Hi

So my neighbour and very good friend is a single parent who has a very difficult ex - so this year again he has the children for Christmas (they are finalised divorce) so she will be alone and is currently alone and struggling.

Can we offer to be her support bubble so she has someone to be with?

She has no other support Bubble.

She had planned to be with a family member but the family member works for nhs and does not wish to risk it.

Separately we have just finished self isolation due to school case but I am sure my kids are fine and we have been very cautious.

Alternatively can I invite someone over if they are in state due to mental health? She is not there yet but has had a history of depression.

Sorry to ask.

I just want to offer support but obviously do not wish to break rules either.

I'm not sure of the specific legalities surrounding this, but I'd support her if I were you ❤️

Yes you can

Yes single people are allowed a support bubble, we've been seeing my mum throughout as she's single and not seeing anyone else

yes she is allowed to join a household as part of a support bubble but cannot move around support bubbles

Assuming you are not in a support bubble with someone else, that is fine. I assume she's not already in a support bubble with the relative?

(Also to note that if you're concerned about someone's mental health, then that is an exception to the rules and it is permissible to provide support.)

Yes she is not in any support Bubble and never has been.

We are not in any support bubble and never have been.

Great thank you.

I'd do it

Yes you can. You sound like a good friend.

Great. And our family have kept to ourselves so I am sure we are not putting her at any undue risk. My children were off school for the entire last week of school and have not mixed apart from school.

Yes I am going to invite her. My husband really likes her too and she gets on with all of us so well. Just hope my kids being there is t some sort of a downer.

Does anyone have a link to the most recent guidance?

There isn't a time limit it is still ok to meet Christmas day if we form a bubble.

And yes neither of us has been in a support bubble so I think the should all work ok.

www.gov.uk/guidance/tier-4-stay-at-home
Even in Tier 4, it says that you can leave home to meet with your support bubble and that you can meet indoors. If this is a single person support bubble then I don't think there's a time limit. Support bubbles are treated like a single household for most purposes, so you can come and go, stay overnight, don't have to distance, etc.

I'd just add that I'm in a support bubble and I still do roughly follow social distancing due to a combo of high risk occupations and high vulnerability! It's not risk free, so see what you think about your risk level (probably low if you have been isolating!), but you can still do the bubble and keep it safer if you want to.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas :)

Thank you Tupla yes I have disinfected all surface and ventilated the entire house.
Children have had baths this morning and they know they need to wash hands and be careful. We really have been so careful.

My husband has been to work recently so that is the risk but he has his own office .

She will be here any minute and we are have a champagne brunch. She is a truly lovely person and my children are really happy to see her and have painted a picture for her.

She must have told her children she would be popping over to ours or something as the ex texted my husband to say that he heard she would be at ours and he is vulnerable to infection (first we have heard of it and we used to know him well) and that we should be careful .. see the attempt st control.

My husband has ignored the text and we are not going to raise it.

Earlier on in the separation proceedings, before we realised the level of craziness, ex meet up with friend's husband and he tried to paint our friend as unstable and mentally ill and basically trashed her. My husband came back and said he just listened but he just came back and said the guy is awful and he never wants him to be near us or our children. That was the very last time he had anything to do with him.

My friend has done brilliantly to get out of a terrible relationship.

But anyhow back to the champagne.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas 🎄you sound like a wonderful friend and the very heart of a Christmas meant to be about love and kindness to others.

Hope you all have a fab day!

Just read your post and I just want to say what wonderful friends and neighbours you are and hope you had a lovely day.

We had a similar situation with neighbours years ago, who wanted us to take sides with the cheating husband, we told him where to go.

Thank you everyone.

My friend really has done well to get out of her relationship. Her ex is incredibly toxic and damaging.

Her children could not call her yesterday, various reasons came through by text which was incredibly upsetting for her. I am sure that was all manipulated and conjured up by her ex. Her ex never ever gave a toss about Christmas when they were together it was all put together by her. But good on her for getting through it.

Apart from the sadness above when I am sure the ex was playing games over the kids being unable to call - we did have a lovely time. My children pretty much played quietly and did some art work for my friend too. My husband was positive and just his lovely self.

Sounds like just the Christmas she needed when dealing with the mindgames of abusive ex, quiet, warm & full of caring, and with friends to support and distract her from his bs.

I remember in minute detail times when my friends helped me in such a way and the warmth of that genuine feeling lasts long, long after the day itself (important when recovery/confidence can ebb and flow long after escape)

And hopefully you & your family enjoyed her company too!