Support thread for people with family members in hospital

[wlv12]

Apologies if there is one of these already.

My mum is critically ill in hospital with covid pneumonia. I am finding her being so unwell traumatic, but even more traumatic is not being able to be with her. Obviously I understand the reasons why; but it’s unspeakably hard. The communication isn’t great from the hospital either - again I do understand how busy they are, as I am frontline nhs staff also - but the lack of communication and empathy only increases our anxiety and grief.

I just wondered if anyone else is going through similar and could do with a chat to support? Mum
has been in hospital 6 days now.

Hi,
I don’t have much practical advice to offer but my mum (69) has advanced, complex dementia and is on palliative care in hospital due to some sort of inflection. Her cognitive function declined hugely during lockdown and she has been hospitalised 3 times already this year. 2 of those times I was allowed to stay with her because her behaviour was so challenging. She moved into a care home in August (due to her extremely challenging behaviour) so we have seen next to nothing of her since then.

I am finding many of the same things as you. Communication has been incredibly difficult. We (my two brothers and I) have had two “get here within the hour” phone calls from doctors in the last 4 days and both times have arrived to confused and disgruntled ward staff. I too understand how incredibly difficult their jobs are (I’m a teacher in a special school so have some experience what is it like to work in close quarters during the pandemic) but it’s a real head fuck to think your mother is on death’s doorstep and then overhear one nurse tell another “it’s meal time, they’ll have to wait.”