In laws want to visit even though we are in tier 4

[DownToTheSeaAgain]

They've rang x3 times to suggest they come anyway. I feel awful. If it were my own parents we'd just resolve it but how do I say no without upsetting them.

Get your DH to speak to his parents and sort it out. He should be able to explain why you as a family don't want to take the risk.

Do they have form for this sort of behaviour or are they just struggling? Perhaps you could agree on something like a live video call for opening gifts etc to make them feel more included and reassured?

Tell them no.

Your DH sorts it.

If they don't like you saying no then just let them be upset. It isn't a big deal compared to dying of Covid.

DM has said no but doesn't stop us both feeling terrible.

It is illegal, they should not have asked. Don’t feel bad.

Get DH to tell them it's not up for discussion and that you're both in agreement and that you're sticking to what will keep you all safer.

Yes. We've effectively done that. Doesn't stop me/ us feeling bad. I'm also annoyed that they asked me first not him but to be fair they asked me, then him, then me again. I know my parents would never do this and it's upsetting. Don't want to upset them but they've put us in a difficult position. Not changing our mind. It's not allowed but now I feel even more rubbish about this Christmas than I did before.
No reason to post other than to vent.
Roll on next year and better everything all round.