Feeling anxious - ways to stay (more) cheerful?

[Tangerines2021]

I’m finding that I’m getting bound up in anxiety and news-related gloom, checking the news and social media, on phone all the time etc. Like most people we had to cancel Christmas plans and I keep thinking about where we should have been, what we should have been doing etc.... am dreading possible homeschooling in the new year, generally not feeling very Christmassy!

For those who are managing to stay cheerful, or at least not completely anxious - how are you managing it? Any tips for the rest of us ?

I'm the same.

I think the people who are feeling more chilled are probably not on the Mumsnet coronavirus board at 8am.

Need to get off my phone and stop looking at the news and threads about covid.

Ha good point! I guess I’ve answered my own question in a way...

Hope you feel better soon

I'm struggling with this too. I've found any kind of art is good - listen to some favourite music (too stressed for new stuff, so have been playing comforting songs I loved from years ago!), watch a good film, listen to a comedy podcast, even just google "happy art" or follow #HandMadeHour on Twitter - I think it's a couple of times a week, people post what they've made and it just feels lifting to see people creating nice things and putting them into the world.

Or try doing something like learning a musical instrument or a language, where you're putting so much in your brain that you can't have room to worry for a little while? There's a lot online that's free.

Another technique that's meant to be good is writing all your worries on little bits of paper and putting them away somewhere (there are soft toy monsters for this for children where the monster 'eats' them), and then it's like you don't have to hold onto them or think about them, because you've got them all in that one place. I've not tried it for this time yet because I think it'd take so long to write them all down!!!

Finally, I think it's also good to remind ourselves that this is a properly scary time, and so it's a really reasonable reaction to feel worried. It's very tiring to feel like this, but it's not like it's an irrational thing.

I hope some of that helps!

I'm the same. Back on my phone every two minutes and obsessively checking the news and websites. I haven't been like this since March.

I'm going to try and put my phone in a different room today and remove the temptation. Am wondering if deleting Mumsnet for a bit might help too. The speculation on lots of threads and posts from internet experts (however well meaning) don't help me.

Same here!

I agree the more cheerful ones are focussing on their own Christmas and not thinking too far ahead etc.

I’m going to try to take each day as it comes a bit more.

In my case checking the news and mumsnet is practically and addiction though

In a way I find it kind of comforting that there are other people who are worried too (not that I wish anxiety on anyone, obviously!!!) I think I keep refreshing Mumsnet to feel reassured.
I've been worried for such a long time about both Brexit and the virus, and surrounded by people who thought both were nothing, and that felt way more lonely.

Same here. yesterday I was constantly checking the news......I am going to try to stop that..its making me feel very panicky

"I think the people who are feeling more chilled are probably not on the Mumsnet coronavirus board at 8am."

True!

@duffeldaisy

I'm struggling with this too. I've found any kind of art is good - listen to some favourite music (too stressed for new stuff, so have been playing comforting songs I loved from years ago!), watch a good film, listen to a comedy podcast, even just google "happy art" or follow #HandMadeHour on Twitter - I think it's a couple of times a week, people post what they've made and it just feels lifting to see people creating nice things and putting them into the world.

Or try doing something like learning a musical instrument or a language, where you're putting so much in your brain that you can't have room to worry for a little while? There's a lot online that's free.

Another technique that's meant to be good is writing all your worries on little bits of paper and putting them away somewhere (there are soft toy monsters for this for children where the monster 'eats' them), and then it's like you don't have to hold onto them or think about them, because you've got them all in that one place. I've not tried it for this time yet because I think it'd take so long to write them all down!!!

Finally, I think it's also good to remind ourselves that this is a properly scary time, and so it's a really reasonable reaction to feel worried. It's very tiring to feel like this, but it's not like it's an irrational thing.

I hope some of that helps!

Lovely ideas thank you! You’ve reminded me of an ongoing project I can focus on - I found that (and yoga!) to be the most helpful things in the 1st lockdown.. it’s easy to forget what’s worked in the past.

I really feel the need to shift into a different head space - one silver lining of plans changing is more quiet and space to reflect, slow down, appreciate the small things etc - which is meant to be what we should be doing at midwinter right?!

for everyone feeling similar

Absolutely stay off the news.
The amount of mis-information on there is terrible. There were pictures of empty shelves on the news yesterday, whipping people up into a frenzy and causing bulk buying. I went to Morrison’s and it was a bit busy, but the stuff was piled up high. Including the toilet rolls !

@Tangerines2021

I have a list of things to do
Exercise every day... walk, yoga. Today a run
Music practise
I also have a jigsaw puzzle ... really good at helping to empty and still the mind

@feetfreckes

I have a list of things to do Exercise every day... walk, yoga. Today a run Music practise I also have a jigsaw puzzle ... really good at helping to empty and still the mind

Thats a great idea! I’m going to copy that... my brain is still on the to do list treadmill- so I’ll give it at different kind of to-do list - read, breathe, yoga, long walk... in amongst all the other stuff I have to do, obviously

After my initial anxiety about it all after the Tier 4 announcement (I’m in Tier 3), I’ve felt strangely upbeat the last couple of days. No idea why. It could be natural endorphins and adopting a “ah, fuck it” attitude; or it could be the better part of a family Yule Log I’ve eaten over the last two days.

@ElephantWhaleRabbit

After my initial anxiety about it all after the Tier 4 announcement (I’m in Tier 3), I’ve felt strangely upbeat the last couple of days. No idea why. It could be natural endorphins and adopting a “ah, fuck it” attitude; or it could be the better part of a family Yule Log I’ve eaten over the last two days.

Ah lovely! I did feel great after having a mince pie yesterday, maybe that’s the way to go...

Listening to music. Including favourite ballet opera and musicals and gigs. During this I have images and wonderful memories of amazing nights out. Did sime pirouetting in the kitchen earlier - not a dancer.
Music always music and dance.

Tier 4 here cases doubled last week.
It has refocused people's minds outside. Almost everyone out and about are back to distancing.

Best advice just take it one week, one day even just one hour at a time.
We are going to try to play some carols on the piano today, we are all beginners but it will be fun.
Make some sausage rolls.
Read some festive fiction.
And try and have a festive feeling week, just for this one week. Will worry about the rest of the world our lives come Tuesday.

Not sure what else to do.

I’ve a longstanding MH issue, and a silver lining is having many ‘coping strategies’. In normal and throughout these times, the basics of daily exercise, sleep and veggies make the biggest difference for me.

I avoid alcohol, late nights (sad about both, but the low/anxiety the day after is too high a price) and only look at news from a few sources, and only once or twice a day. Also try hard to avoid working long hours.

In past when v bad and affecting me a lot day, sought professional help. Haven’t needed to do that so far this year, although came close when the DC were off school so long, that was a bloody nightmare!

I've decided the best thing to do to help my anxiety at the moment would be to stay off Mumsnet! Don't seem to be able to make the leap to doing it though.

I have periods of anxiety in any case and the things that work for me (in no particular order) are:

• running - I never want to do it but damn it, it does actually work
• more music (playing and listening)
• less time online
• more sex!
• more interaction with people in general (ie phone calls rather than short messages, really playing with the children - when I get super anxious I tend to withdraw from everyone and this makes it worse).

@rc22

I've decided the best thing to do to help my anxiety at the moment would be to stay off Mumsnet! Don't seem to be able to make the leap to doing it though.

This! All over. The most anxious people in society with too many thoughts come here.

I have been through a couple of things personally much worse than the pandemic so I refer myself back to that and think 'at least its not xyz situation '.

Also yoga, breathing slower, running, and mince pies. And trying to cheer someone else up.

One other thing is giving myself a chance to feel crap and not try to cheer up, just to process all the feelings. Driving in the car by myself with the music on loud helps me either have a good cry or a sing song. Its perfectly OK not to be cheerful all the time.

I hope you feel a little better soon. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend xxx

I'm the same!
It doesnt help that its driving my mum mad. We are in tier 3 so she said we can go to hers on Christmas. Just us and our children. But shes just driving herself mad and its rubbing off on me. Every time I step outside I feel guilty, I needed a couple bits and i was alone with my kids, I didnt think about the fact it would be mad at the supermarket. It was ok though.. I got out alive! I mentioned how mad it was on the phone to her just making conversation and she had a bit of a wobble saying I shouldn't go, dad will go for me... i am quite independent so I am struggling being stuck inside and I felt so guilty. :(
I have CBT for my anxiety this year. Something that really stuck with me is if a thought comes into your mind that your stuck on and it's making feel panicky or depressed. Just think, is this a helpful thought? Is me sitting here and thinking about it helpful? Probably not. There is only so much we can control, If you can control it and change it, do it. If you cant, there is no point wasting energy thinking about it.
I have started to read a lot more this year. Get lost in a good book OP, hope you start too feel better soon.

Another thing that has helped (although maybe I am strange) is reading more historical novels and books. I read one set in the Great Plague and a book about Victorian London, which dealt with the cholera outbreaks. Both put things in perspective and helped me.

It's horrible isn't it OP?

I did a Zoom mindfulness course in the spring and it has helped me massively. It showed me how to watch my own anxious thoughts and see them, essentially, as stormy clouds passing through my own brain. They aren't real or even permanent, they just come and go and grounding myself in my immediate environment when they do come along helps (i.e checking in - am I being attacked, am I in a warm house with food in the fridge, what can I feel, smell, see). It's been a game-changer. It's one of those things you have to try for a good length of time (I was so bored at first by trying it daily) but it is amazing.

I also did Nicole Sach's anxiety course online. Again, it's wonderful. I learnt so much about how to step back from all those bad feelings. I am using her tools daily right now.

I do also think a lot of it for me is staying away from the news and absorbing myself with something creative. I'm making a quilt and I do sometimes look up from it and think, 'I felt normal for a bit.' The pandemic melts away. That is how I will keep going, by keeping my brain as occupied on good things as possible. I have a lot of work to get done too, but it does help.